halffizzbin:

tom-sits-like-a-whore:

carryonmywayward-idjits:

Please excuse me while I walk over your husband’s corpse like he’s nothing and upon entering the room, ignore your traumatised child in his crib and instead clutch your lifeless body in a demonstration of my love for you: creepy and entirely unhelpful

i love how everyone just knows what this is referencing

People who don’t put up with Snape’s shit are my favorite people.

gorilladad:

masturblainrs:

I brokke my pants..

ev ery goddamn day. every goddamn day i see this goddamn p ost about someones brokke pants. stitche ur freakin pants together you two bit loser. put that fabric together back over ur ass and use a needle to unbreake your pants. s top brokking your pants ev ery day and get a job, the economy needs u you pants brokking hippy

fruitsofharvest:

lavalamp-of-epicness:

I didn’t get any cake yesterday cause apparently my dad was still working on it.

He brought it to school today and I’m just-

how

is all of that

frickin sugar?

holy jesus 

ophiophilist:

miniprof:

OH before I  go to bed I should convey to you all the weirdest fact I learned today

I learned that when a caterpillar is metamorphosing into a butterfly within the cocoon, it is not, as I previously assumed, slowly growing wings and little antennae and whatever else. If we open a cocoon, apparently what we find is that the caterpillar has actually dissolved into a shapeless goo, from which the butterfly will be formed.

A goo.

From which the butterfly is formed.

You can, of course, go the philosophical route with this: are they, then, the same creature, pre- and post- this complete reconstitution of the self? If the very brain, the nervous system, has been completely reassembled, how do we identify this as in any way the same?

So here’s the kicker.

Apparently one scientist figured he’d test this out by training a bunch of caterpillars to react negatively to a specific scent, which they would normally not react negatively to. This was all done prior to the cocoon stage.

And these butterflies. These post-goo, completely remade selves? They reacted negatively to the scent, too.

OKAY GOODNIGHT

“First, the caterpillar digests itself, releasing enzymes to dissolve all of its tissues. If you were to cut open a cocoon or chrysalis at just the right time, caterpillar soup would ooze out." 

BUTTERFLIES ARE METAL AS FUCK.

abaddonadler:

abaddonadler:

One time I was at a church retreat and a bunch of us were all talking and playing cards. Well I ran out of soda just as my friend was getting up to get a refill so I shouted to him “Hey, Bryan, Mountain Dew me.” Do you see where this is going because I did not. 

You guys, I literally shouted a phrase that sounded like “Mount and do me” in a room full of very conservative people. I did not share this near death experience for 22 notes.