WHAT TEAM?
TEAM ‘I CANT AFFORD/BRING MYSELF TO GO TO A THERAPIST BUT I JUST KNOW IM PROBABLY CERTIFIABLE FOR SOMETHING’!!!!
im tired of my thoughts being a dangerous place to linger.
sigh im exhausted. i mean woo family woo christmas that was fun, but half the time they were just verifying what i was saying in that readmore yesterday
christian jokingly threatened to hurt me twice and i got called a prissy princess each time i said ‘can you not’ and wouldnt stop making snide comments (and id get in trouble when i spoke back, too) with my cousin as the support chorus
and i got roped into making the mojitos (which no one in the family knows how to make) and nigh immediately mum started 'joking’ about how slow i was, how nobody would get a drink at this rate (during my first ever one, yknow when youre reading the recipe) and didnt stop when i asked her to, and when i said 'are you done?’ she told me not to be rude
like
thats a near-exact quote of what i wrote last night
i guess im not allowed to be offended in this house
visiting home really helps remind you why you dont live at home
aaaannnnd mum comes home and is immediately angry again
you know what i love?
mum coming home and immediately bitching me out for stuff despite me trying to make my staying here as easy as possible for her
you know when you say you hate growing up and whoever youre talking to giggles and goes ‘it does’ all amused and condescending and youre like no
no
no, i mean i dont like how growing up feels, i dont like the person im becoming, i dont like where my life is headed and id like to get off please
but let’s laugh about it, sure.