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gallifrey-feels:

cutebabe:

hotmusclyboy:

antiporn-activist:

luaren:

gonna need to pull your head out of your ass to read this one buddy

MASSIVE trigger warning for the following links and bullets.  includes mentions of rape, abuse, violence, racism, misogyny, homophobia, child sex abuse, pedophilia

Porn use:

• There are over 420 million pages of pornographic material online worldwide. (IFR)
• 72 million searches for porn are logged monthly. (IFR)
• 25% of all daily search engine requests are for pornography (68 million searches daily) (IFR)
• 42.7% of internet users view porn (IFR)
• 100,000-plus websites are devoted to child pornography. There are over 116,000 daily requests for this material. (IFR)
• 20% of men admit to accessing pornography at work (IFR)
• 35% of those purchasing online porn make $75,000-plus annually. (IFR)
• The United States is the top producer of pornographic web pages with 244,661,900, or 89 percent (IFR)
• Worldwide revenue from mobile phone pornography is $1 billion-plus and growing (Bryan-Low, Cassel and Pringle, David. “Sex Cells: Wireless Operators Find That Racy Cellphone Video Drives Surge in Broadband Use.” The Wall Street Journal, May 12, 2005)

Ex-porn star testimonies:

• Corina Taylor: ”When I arrived to the set I expected to do a vaginal girl boy scene. But during the scene with a male porn star, he forced himself anally into me and would not stop. I yelled at him to stop and screamed ‘No’ over and over but he would not stop. The pain became too much and I was in shock and my body went limp.”
• Jenna Jameson: ”Most girls get their first experience in gonzo films – in which they’re taken to a crappy studio apartment in Mission Hills and penetrated in every hole possible by some abusive asshole who thinks her name is Bitch.”
• Alexa James: ”The first shoot I did was with a man who was probably 40 and he was as thick as a soda can. He held me down and shoved it in me with no lube tearing my vagina. When I started to tear up and cry he flipped me over and continued from behind be so they wouldn’t get me crying on film. He pulled my hair and choked me over and over again even when I told him it hurt and I could barely breathe.”
• Linda Lovelace: ”My initiation into prostitution was a gang rape by five men, arranged by Mr. Traynor. It was the turning point in my life. He threatened to shoot me with the pistol if I didn’t go through with it. I had never experienced anal sex before and it ripped me apart. They treated me like an inflatable plastic doll, picking me up and moving me here and there. They spread my legs this way and that, shoving their things at me and into me, they were playing musical chairs with parts of my body. I have never been so frightened and disgraced and humiliated in my life. I felt like garbage. I engaged in sex acts for pornography against my will to avoid being killed.The lives of my family were threatened.”
• Andi Anderson: ”After a year or so of that so-called “glamorous” life, I sadly discovered that drugs and drinking were a part of the lifestyle. I began to drink and party out of control! Cocaine, alcohol and ecstasy were my favorites. Before long, I turned into a person I did not want to be. After doing so many hardcore scenes I couldn’t do it anymore. I just remember being in horrible situations and experiencing extreme depression and being alone and sad.”
• Alexa Milano: ”My first movie I was treated very rough by 3 guys. They pounded on me, gagged me with their penises, and tossed me around like I was a ball! I was sore, hurting and could barely walk. My insides burned and hurt so badly. I could barely pee and to try to have a bowel movement was out of the question. I was hurting so bad from the physical abuse from these 3 male porn stars.”
• Jessie Jewels: ”People in the porn industry are numb to real life and are like zombies walking around. The abuse that goes on in this industry is completely ridiculous. The way these young ladies are treated is totally sick and brainwashing. I left due to the trauma I experienced even though I was there only a short time.”
• Genevieve: ”I had bodily fluids all over my face that had to stay on my face for ten minutes. The abuse and degradation was rough. I sweated and was in deep pain. On top of the horrifying experience, my whole body ached, and I was irritable the whole day. The director didn’t really care how I felt; he only wanted to finish the video.”
• Jersey Jaxin: ”Guys punching you in the face. You have semen from many guys all over your face, in your eyes. You get ripped. Your insides can come out of you. It’s never ending.”
• Elizabeth Rollings: ”I didn’t want to feel the pain of penetration from an over average sized man, being told to freeze in a position until the camera man was happy with his shots was very painful. I had peoples body fluids forced on my face or anywhere else the producer pleased and I had to accept it or else no pay. Sometimes you would get to a gig and the producer would change what the scene was supposed to be to something more intense and again if you didn’t like it, too bad, you did it or no pay.”
• Lucky Starr: ”I was worried about my first anal scene for quite a few days … then the big moment arrived. It REALLY hurt! I almost quit and said, “I can’t do this”. When it was all over, I was so happy and relieved I was able to do it…”
• Ashlyn Brooke: ”I honestly felt that if I had to have another strange man in my face, his hands (God knows where they’ve been all over me) him calling me his baby and having to exude some sort of forged passion for the world to see, I probably would have exploded. And what would have been stuck to the walls would have probably been nothing, just pieces of skin, bone, the brain of a robot, and what would have been left of what would have existed once as a huge and warm heart.”
• Roxy: ”After only 30 movies I caught two sexually transmitted diseases. Herpes, a non-curable disease and HPV, which led to cervical cancer where I had to have half of my cervix removed. Porn destroyed my life.”
• Anita Cannibal: ”Yeah, there are a lot of cover-ups going on. There is a lot of tragedy. There are a lot of horrible things.”
• Tamra Toryn: ”As for myself, I ended up paying the price from working in the porn industry. In 2006, not even 9 months in, I caught a moderate form of dysplasia of the cervix (which is a form of HPV, a sexually transmitted disease) and later that day, I also found out I was pregnant. I had only 1 choice which was to abort the baby during my first month. It was extremely painful emotionally and physically. When it was all over, I cried my eyes out.”
• Jessi Summers: ”I also did a scene where I was put with male talent that was on my no list. I wanted to please them so I did it. He put his foot on my head and stepped on it while he was doing me from behind. I freaked out and started balling; they stopped filming and sent me home with reduced pay since they got some shot but not the whole sce

porn trends:

• “teen” is the most commonly searched porn term
• child pornography is one of the fastest growing businesses online.

how pornographers feel about women:

• “I’d like to really show what I believe the men want to see: violence against women. I firmly believe that we [pornographers] serve a purpose by showing that. The most violent we can get is the cum shot in the face. Men get off behind that, because they get even with the women they can’t have. We try to inundate the world with orgasms in the face.” -  Bill Margold, porn industry veteran, quoted in Robert J. Stoller and I. S. Levine, Coming Attractions: The Making of an X-rated video; 1993.

• “There’s nothing I love more than when a girl insists to me that she won’t take a cock in her ass, because — oh yes she will!” -Max Hardcore, interviewed in Hustler (June 1995).

• “My whole reason for being in this Industry is to satisfy the desire of the men in the world who basically don’t much care for women and want to see the men in my Industry getting even with the women they couldn’t have when they were growing up. I strongly believe this… so we come on a woman’s face or somewhat brutalize her sexually: we’re getting even for their lost dreams. I believe this. I’ve heard audiences cheer me when I do something foul on screen. When I’ve strangled a person or sodomized a person, or brutalized a person, the audience is cheering my action, and then when I’ve fulfilled my warped desire, the audience applauds.” - Bill Margold, porn industry veteran and Free Speech Coalition board member.

• “It might promote violence against women in the United States, but I say, ‘Good.’ I hate those bitches. They’re out of line and that’s one of the reasons I want to do this … I’m going through a divorce right now. … I hate American women.” - What pornographers really think of women (Deutsche Presse-Agentur, 14 October 1999)

2010 study on popular porn films:

• 88% of scenes contained physical aggression, including spanking, gagging, and slapping. 
• Women were overwhelmingly the targets of aggressive acts, and men the perpetrators.
• Following instances of aggression towards women, in 95% of cases the women expressed pleasure or neutrality.

cases of porn leading children to commit sexual assualt IN THE UK ALONE:

• February 2014: A 13-year-old boy told a UK court that he raped his 8-year-old sister after viewing pornography at his friend’s house.  The teenager told police he “decided to try it out” on his sister because she was small and “couldn’t remember stuff,” reported the Lancashire Telegraph.
• November 2013: A different 13-year old UK boy pleaded guilty to raping an eight-year old girlwhen he was 10. A pornography addiction since age 9 was said to have played a significant role in his crimes.
• March 2013: Two boys aged 14 and 15 admitted to a British court that they were re-enacting scenes witnessed in violent online pornography when they beat, brutalized, then raped a 14-year-old girl they had tied to a chair.
• March 2013: A UK report found that thousands of British children had committed sexual offenses. In all, 4,562 minors – some as young as five – committed 5,028 sexual offenses over a three year period from 2009-2012. Experts blamed “easy access to sexual material.”
• January 2012: Children’s aid and sex abuse organizations in Australia largely blamed 414 cases of children sexually abusing other children on the explosion of pornography made accessible to children.
• August 2012: A 13-year-old Canadian boy pleaded guilty to repeatedly raping a 4-year-old boy who lived in his foster home. The boy said the idea came from watching “gay porn” on his foster parents’ home computer.
• April 2012: A child therapist reported a case of a 13-year-old boy who raped his 5-year-old sisterafter developing a “complex fantasy world” warped by “two years of constant porn use.”

racism in porn:

• Latinos and Hispanics: Pornography tends to stereotype Hispanic women as feisty, “hot and spicy Latinas”, sexy Señoritas, with a high sex drive and low impulse control. Many are portrayed as maids, illegal immigrants to the United States, or unfaithful wives. Since Latinos and Hispanics can be of any race (many are white Hispanic Americans, Mestizos etc.), cultural characteristics are sometimes portrayed via iconic items like South and Central American national costumes, sombreros, maracas, or Mexican dresses.
• Asian women: Are viewed as sexually willing or submissive. Asian men are hardly portrayed in pairing with white women and not as common compared to white men with asian women porn. Asian women are mainly portrayed as the: “Dragon Ladies”, as servile “Lotus Blossom Babies”, “Innocent School Girls” in private school uniforms, “China dolls”, “Geisha girls”, war brides, or prostitutes. Japanese media have also at times sensationalistically promoted the stereotype of Japanese women overseas as “yellow cabs”. 
• Black performers: Large penis size in Black men is consistently emphasized in pornography, often by exclusively casting actors with larger than average penises such as Lexington Steele, Kid Bengala, Jack Napier and Mandingo. Men are often treated to stereotypes of gang affiliation, working class labor, and are overrepresented in gang rape fetish films. Also, they are represented as overly aggressive and demanding, and are performing with white women. Similarly, black women are often portrayed with large breast and buttocks, or ‘booty’. They normally play a submissive role while performing with a white male.

Kid’s access to pornography:

• Youth who look at violent x-rated material are six times more likely to report forcing someone to do something sexual online or in-person versus youth not exposed to x-rated material. [12]
• Middle-school aged boys who view X-rated content are almost three times more likely to report oral sex and sexual intercourse than boys who do not use sexually explicit material[13]  
• A study in the southeastern U.S. found that 53 percent of boys and 28 percent of girls (ages 12-15) reported use of sexually explicit media. The Internet was the most popular forum for viewing. [14]
• The words “sex” and “porn” rank fourth and sixth among the top ten most popular search terms. [15]
• Roughly two-thirds (67 percent) of young men and one-half (49 percent) of young women agree that viewing pornography is acceptable.[7]
• Nearly 9 out of 10 (87 percent) young men and 1 out of 3 (31 percent) young women report using pornography.[8]
• Experts have warned that the rise in the viewing of pornography was implicated in a variety of problems, including a rise in the levels of STDs and teenage pregnancies.  Additionally, males aged between 12 and 17 who regularly viewed pornography had sex at an earlier stage in life and were more likely to initiate oral sex, apparently imitating what they had seen. [9] [10]
• Internet pornography was blamed for a 20 percent increase in sexual attacks by children over three years.[6]
• One out of three youth who viewed pornography, viewed the pornography intentionally.[1]
• Seven out of ten youth have accidentally come across pornography online.[2]
• Nearly 80 percent of unwanted exposure to pornography is taking place in the home (79 percent occurs in the home; 9 percent occurs at school; 7 percent other/unknown; 5 percent at a friend’s home).[3]
• Kids experience unwanted exposure to sexual material via:[4] A link came up as a result of an innocent word search (40 percent), Clicking on a link in another site (17 percent), A pop-up (14 percent), Other (13 percent), Misspelled web address (12 percent), Don’t know (4 percent), Pictures involving animals or other strange things (10 percent)

• Type of material youth encounter when unwanted exposure to pornography occurs:[5] Naked people (86 percent), People having sex (37 percent), Violent pictures (13 percent)

• Nearly 74 percent of pornography websites surveyed display adult content on their homepage (accessible to anyone) before asking if the viewers are of legal age. [11]
• American children begin consuming hardcore pronography at an average age of 11
• Four out of five 16 year-olds regularly access pornography online
• Findings from the Youth Internet Safety Survey indicate that 15% of 12-17 year olds have purposefully looked at x-rated material online.

• Data from the PEW Internet and American Life Project suggest that 70% of 15-17 year old internet users accidently view pornography “very” or “Somewhat” often.

Child Pornography

• Child pornography is a $3-billion industry. (Top Ten Reviews)
• Child pornography is one of the fastest growing businesses online, and the content is becoming much worse.  (Internet Watch Foundation)  Internet Watch Foundation confirmed 1536 child abuse domains in 2008.
•  The fastest growing demand in commercial websites for child abuse is for images depicting the worst type of abuse, including penetrative sexual activity involving children and adults and sadism or penetration by an animal.  58% of child sexual abuse images depict this level of abuse. (IWF, 2008)
•  69% of all victims in child abuse images are between the ages of 0 and 10 years old. (IWF, 2008)
•  In a study of arrested child pornography possessors, 40 percent had both sexually victimized children and were in possession of child pornography. Of those arrested between 2000 and 2001, 83 percent had images involving children between the ages 6 and 12; 39 percent had images of children between ages 3 and 5; and 19% had images of infants and toddlers under age 3 (National Center for Missing & Exploited Children, Child Pornography Possessors Arrested in Internet-Related Crimes: Findings fro the National Juvenile Online Victimization Study. 2005).

Your brain on porn:

• further decline in dopamine levels
• further decline in opioids and endorphins
• drop-off in GABA, which is an anti-anxiety neurotransmitter
• rise in brain stress hormones CRF and norepinephrine 
• elevated dynorphin which inhibits dopamine and lowers your pleasure response
• one week after quitting the reward center sprouts new nerve cell branches, which correlate with cravings to use
• More sources on addiction to porn

Common porn addiction withdrawal symptoms include:

• Anxiety
• Restlessness
• Irritability
• Insomnia
• Fatigue
• Headaches
• Poor concentration
• Depression
• Social isolation
• Loss of libido (Can take days to manifest, and last a long time)

Adult (>18 years old) exposure to pornographic media is connected with:

• Believing a rape victim enjoyed rape
• Believing women suffer less from rape
• Believing women in general enjoy rape
• Believing a rape victim experienced pleasure and “got what she wanted”
• Believing women make false accusations of rape
• Believing rapist deserve less jail time
• More acceptance of the rape myth
• More acceptance of violence against women
• More likely to go to a prostitute and to go more frequently
• Increasing their estimates of how often people engage in sex with violence
• More self-reported likelihood of forcing a women sexually
• More self-reported likelihood of rape
• Creating more sexually violent fantasies to get aroused
• Engaging in more sexual harassment behaviors
• More likelihood of forcing a woman sexually
• More likelihood of future rape
• Using physical coercion to have sex
• Using verbal coercion to have sex
• Using drugs and alcohol to sexually coerce women
• Having engaged in rape
• Having engaged in date rape
• Having engaged in marital rape
• Being an adult sex offender
• Being a child molester
• Being an incest offender
• Engaging in sexual abuse of a battered spouse
• More willingness to have sex with 13-14 year olds
• More sexual attraction to children
• Having sexually abused children

Life and death of a porn star:

• all the women who don’t make money from the porn industry.
• the women who are kidnapped, tortured, and forced into snuff films.
• the skeletons that NAFTA keeps hidden in cobweb-ridden closets on the U.S.-Mexican border.
•  their average career length is 3 months. [x] [x]

If you don’t feel like reading:

• Shelley Lubben: Porn as a driver for prostitution and sex trafficking, (Vimeo)
• Cindy Gallop: Make love, not porn (Adult content)
• “They call it fantasy," - Andrea Dworkin
• Ex-Pornstar Jan Villarubia tells her story
• Dr. Gail Dines addressing porn culture and rape culture’s intersecting roles in patriarchy
• “Two Ex-Porn Stars Uncover The Truth About Porn.”
• This guy stopped watching porn — and he wants you to know why.
• Facing Life Head-On: Satan’s Final Frontier—the Sex Industry
• Dr. Gail Dine’s lectures on pornography on youtube (1, 2, 3, 4)
• This video has footage the porn industry doesn’t want you to see. Women are abused, screaming, crying, raped and in pain on the porn set…No woman should have to go to work only to return home beaten and traumatized.”
• On the show Date My Pornstar, porn fans get to interact and converse with their favorite pornstars about their experiences in the industry
• The story of ex-pornstar ‘Sal’, (Pink Cross Foundation)
• Porn actress Sierra Sinn Leaves Porn
• On the Joni talk show, ex-porn actresses come forward to share their experiences on what drove them into the porn industry, how it impacted their lives and what drove them out.

Just links:

• Here is a site that has testimonies from lots of porn stars. The site is run by an ex pornstar who has dedicated her life to helping the women in the industry. 
• Here is an article about Linda Lovelace, star of Deep Throat, basically the first pornography film, talking about how the film was her being raped, and the other atrocities she went through in the porn industry. 
• Here is a video of a talk show where three porn actresses speak out against the industry and tell their stories. I can assure you, these are not extreme cases. This is the average life of porn stars. 
• Here has great information on the porn industry, and if you scroll down to Porn and the Performer, you can read statistics about the porn industry and porn actresses and what they suffer through. 
• Here is some facts about porn from Shelley Lubbens website.
• How porn harms the economy
• How porn harms relationships
• How porn harms gay men
• How porn harms gay women
• How porn harms POC
• Stop Porn Culture’s FAQ
• 400+ dead porn stars obituaries
• more databases on dead porn stars
• More testimonies
• 100+ stories
• anti porn documentaries
• DianaRussell.com
• Shelley Lubben.com (Ex porn-star helping other porn stars)
• Shelley Lubben’s MySpace Website
• List of Dead Porn Stars and How They Died
• Where My Ladies At (About porn and it’s connection to hip hop and rap.)
• Feminist Fred: A Place for Men to Learn about Feminism (Also home of Pornsick Pat)
• Compulsion Solutions
• Internet Pornography Statistics (InternetFilterReview.com)
• Porn and Sex Industry Statistics (Enough is Enough.)
• Pornography and Sex Trade Statistics (Most thorough and documented.)
• PBS Documentary “Porn In America”. Full video and lots of information.
• XXX Family Values: ABC Primetime Show about Porn Star Sunny Lane. (Sunny’s parents are her managers. Transcript and video clip at link.)
• ABC Primetime Interview with Porn Star Belladonn (Tells the harsh truth about porn.)
• Porn Profits: Corporate America’s Secret (ABC Primetime Show.)
• Anti-Pornography and Prostitution Research Group (Japan)
• Pornography: Creating Demand for International Sex Trafficking (By Shared Hope International)
• SHIT LOAD OF STATS

HOW YOU CAN HELP

if these links aka fucking cold hard proof dont make you stop watching it, i hope you drop dead.  

Nice work. Probably won’t work on him.

everyone needs to take some time out of their day and read up on this.

STOP

FUCKING

WATCHING

PORN

also, hey, it’s just not. hot. 

Book porn. Seriously guys, there are books for this.

whenwilligetmyrights:

“Every time someone says we don’t need feminism anymore, things like this come to mind. Due to insufficient dowry this young girl’s husband lacerated her face with a razor blade.” (Gwalior - India) - ph. Adrian Fisk

nachtvogelfrei:

psychedelic-wanderer:

awkwardorable:

sonotaghostkid:

This is really not okay.

I think some people fail to realize that men can be sexually assaulted, too, and not just by other men. This girl shoves him against the wall and slaps him thee fucking times when he pushes her away. Heck, he has to push her away twice before she backs off for a moment. Then she goes right back to kissing him.

Gabbity is right—if the genders were reversed, everyone on this site would be flipping a shit. And if anyone dares to tell me that it’s different when a girl does it to a guy, I will personally write you a three-page essay on why it is still not okay.

^ I’m so happy to finally see a post like this.

this gif makes me so sad. he looks so confused and scared, especially after she hit his face the first time.

brokenn-innocence:

tehlittleninja:

lucky-ch4rmss:

asdfghjkl-mi4:

mahalkitax3:

topraymen:

A 14 years old boy got beaten half dead by his stepfather. His only fault was this that he tried to protect his little sister from being raped. Now he’s struggling for his life, but doctors say he won’t make it without a surgery. His mother doesn’t have money to pay it.tumblr donates 45cents for every sharing or reposing.

Please Verify, Don’t Ignore thinking It To be FAKE
(Mother’s Number Not Disclosed For Security Reasons)
Doctor’s Contact Number: +91 20 6721 3400
Hospital Name: Sahyadri Hospital

Please help.
Lke, share & spread the message..! Share if you care !

this won’t make your blog look ugly. have a heart now

this should have more notes

Please go save a life

I try so hard to have faith in the world but these people make me sick.

i dont care if this doesnt suit my blog, i just couldn’t not reblog this. please reblog<3

thoroughbred-heart:

3quus:

little-starling:

equine-hourglass:

This is some of the worst, most disgusting abuse I’ve ever seen.

This woman, named Farida Khan, abuses and tortures horses forPLEASURE. It’s a FETISH of hers and her followers to beat and hurt horses. She makes videos of herself spurring the horse to death andwhipping it until it bleeds.

There are comments on her youtube videos like 「I don’t like the color of the horse, you should change it to blood red」.

It is absolutely HORRIBLE. She is seen posting comments on her pictures like,

「oh yes it definitely hurts them a lot and i enjoy seeing them suffering for my pleasure. whipping and kicking is the best thing i like when i am astride it gives me a nice feel and its such a wonderful feeling to control such a beast」

As a horse screams, bucks, and writhes beneath her.

PLEASE, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU, NO MATTER IF YOU HAVE AN EQUINE BLOG OR NOT - SIGN THIS PETITION AND SPREAD THE WORD. WE MUST PUT A STOP TO HER AND HER DISGUSTING GROUP OF FOLLOWERS.

CLICK HERE TO SIGN THE PETITION TO STOP THIS SICK ABUSE

Her Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/farida.khan.710

I don’t care if this bugs the fuck out of my followers, she needs to be stopped.

I messeged her and she blocked me bitch i’ll get you

happylandfillx:

feminishblog:

kajiraraven:

mentorsinviolencepreventionucf:

Know the warning signs. Don’t wait until it’s too late.

This is very important. Please read this. Often women in abusive relationships do not have the means to escape, it isn’t their fault. Others can help be recognizing domestic violence and helping put a stop to it. 

It’s never too late to seek help (if you are safely able to), or help someone else.

… …

very important

(on a side note, maybe someone who has actually read Fifty Shades of Grey or other such things should use this as a checklist to see just how bad a ‘good’ relationship is.)

bonerack:

princessnecrophilia:

weeaboo-chan:

vhscars:

protest-resources:

50 Shades of Abuse Flyer - Canada

Use, redistribute, print. 

Click image and magnify for large version.

Okay. I understood all the flack Twilight got for being an abusive relationship. Because it was and it was being read by a very young and impressionable audience. But ffs, 50 Shades is an ADULT NOVEL. Iit is about a BDSM couple. Which - newsflash - do exist. It is a completely consensual form of dominate/submissive sex play. The whole concept of domestic violence and abuse is that one side exerts control over an unwilling victim. I don’t recall Anastasia, or whatever she’s called, protesting to Christian’s form of sex. If I remember correctly, she quite enjoyed it! So before you condemn a work of romanticized fiction, actually consider it’s audience and remember that they are mature and capable enough to know the difference between reality and fiction.

so i guess you didn’t read the parts where he coerces her and the part where he continues after she has used her safeword and acts like a fucking creep whenever they aren’t having sex

it is the worst possible introduction to BDSM i could imagine

i know my shit okay

im hoping the people defending this book are 1. never getting into BDSM 2. not currently into BDSM 3. havent read the book bc i dont want to believe anyone is that fucking stupid

Let me

just

fucking

drop

some fucking

knowledge on you right now.

Wanna know the BDSM mantra? Safe, sane, consensual.

So let me explain why this book was devoid of all three of these things.

Safe - In the first few chapters of the novel, Christian Grey tracks Ana’s cell phone to find her at a club. Takes her home when she’s drunk, changes her when she’s so intoxicated she doesn’t remember him doing so,and informs her he will be keeping tabs on her for her own benefit. This is not the behaviour of a respectable Dominant. This is the behaviour of a power hungry, abusive asshole who really can’t take no for an answer.

Sane - One of the most important parts of BDSM is aftercare. Scenes can be extremely traumatizing and intense for the submissive. Aftercare is anything from petting to cuddling to holding to sweet talking, whatever degree of gentleness a bottom would need to pull them out of “subspace”. How does Christian provide aftercare? He submits Ana to a traumatizing first time spanking experience AND THEN FUCKING LEAVES. AND GETS MAD THAT SHE DIDN’T TELL HIM SHE WAS UPSET. He’s the one who should fucking know better! That, again, is not the act of a responsible Dominant. It’s the act of a selfish abuser.

Consensual - Did I mention he undressed her when she was belligerently drunk? Tracked her phone to locate her? He also buys her a new car despite her saying no countless times. Now, consent is important for any kind of sexual activity at all. Consent means informed, consent means enthusiastic. Informed, enthusiastic consent. This is crucial in a BDSM setting. Scenes can be extremely intense, especially for the bottom. What is Christian’s form of obtaining consent? Handing Ana a fucking contract highlighting all the things he wants to do her asshole and asking her to sign it. She was a virgin (Don’t even get me fucking started.) who had never before been exposed to BDSM. Entering in that kind of relationship takes a gargantuan amount of trust and knowledge so you know exactly what you’re getting into. Not reading a list of kinks on a piece of paper and signing your rights to say no away. Christian didn’t offer her resources, he didn’t offer her information. He gave her an ultimatum. That is not the sort of consent a responsible Dom/me would seek from their submissive.

Fuck. This. book. It’s written in a shitty way, it’s a terrible example of a BDSM relationship (ask anybody already involved in the lifestyle and watch them go blue in the face just thinking about it), which is already faced with enough prejudice and misunderstand, and it romanticizes and glorifies abuse.