its shruggies bitch
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// 20-500 y/o \\
// Artist \\ // Animator \\
// Any pronouns are fine \\
COMMISSIONS: OPEN
Please don't repost my work
i sell prints, bookmarks, charms and more at my store!
So many people on tumblr complain about having no friends but then they reblog shit like
“If your friend doesn’t respond to your every text immediately they are not your friend”
and “A true friend would never value themselves over your sanity. Friends who ‘need space’ away from your mental health issue are TO X I C”
and “if someone doesn’t drop everything to help you when you’re in need, congrats, you just found out who your fake friend is”and it’s like…this is why.
You had friends and then shat on them with your fucked up abusive standards.
congratulations on shutting down every mentally ill person who NEEDS this kind of attention to survive and telling us we dont deserve friends for the way our brains fuck us up and tell us that if they dont do just the smallest things they hate us and wantus to die and dont want to be our friends
i hate ntsYou’re friends world doesn’t revolve around you. Honestly your response is one of the most selfish things I’ve read.
You need to realize that your mental illness can be toxic and harmful to your friends, that it can be controlling and poisonous. That your friends world doesn’t just revolve around you.
I had a friend like that once. She had her mental instabilities and she suffered from depression and things like that and so she came to me because I was her friend. I tried to be THAT friend. Whenever she would text or call me, I would be there to to talk to her, to give her advice no matter how busy i was, and i was BUSY. I genuinely wanted to help her through her problems and i felt guilty for wanting to put my academics over her.
But in school she would often complain that she had absolutely no friends, as if I didn’t exist. I tried to understand though, that sometimes it may FEEL like you don’t have anyone I suppose, so I stuck with her so she wouldn’t feel alone.
I wish I saw it then, but it was just tip of the iceberg. She was manipulating me. She would tell me secrets, and make me promise to never tell another soul. And I didn’t, cause I cared. Come to find out she went and told the whole school herself, saying the same thing to each person “promise not to tell anyone, you’re the only one I can trust”. I would tell her to go seek professional help because she was hurting herself and getting into all sorts of trouble. But she would say the same thing “I can’t, you’re the only one I can trust.” Almost every night we would talk over Facebook and she would constantly reaffirm our friendship, saying “you’re my friend, right?” almost the same way, every day, and I would always say the same thing “yes”.
This went on for about 2 years. It got to the point that I would hide my online status on facebook when I saw that she was online. I was going through hardships of my own and when I would go to her about it, she would quickly dismiss it and go on about HER problems. She would come to me with her problems, I would tell her how to solve them, she would totally disregard everything I told her and get herself into trouble again, and come crying to me for the same answers to the same problems and repeat the cycle over and over again. I would be up at midnight writing college essays, filling out college applications, looking for scholarships, and she would call me complaining about the same problems that I had given her the solutions to countless times. But I would drop everything and go through the whole spiel again, because I tried to be THAT friend. The friend that those people want. The one that would put their whole life on halt for their friends. And it did a toll on me, both physically and mentally.
I got no sleep or mental rest because I was basically juggling her problems, on top of my own, as well as school preparing for college. Every time she sensed I was sort of backing out she would bring up the fact that she would kill herself or that I was the one and only friend she had (which wasn’t true).
It was my mom who finally told me to distance myself from her, because she could see how badly this kind of relationship was affecting me, and she had been in a similar one herself, so she recognized the signs. My dad, a Star Trek fan, called people like that Klingons because they literally cling on to you and feed off of the attention you give them.
I’m not knocking people with mental disabilities or depression or anything like that, because they are serious. But don’t treat your friends like your 24/7 therapists or psychiatrists. We cannot put our whole lives on hold, jeopardize our future for you. Even therapists tell their patients “no I can’t speak with you today” or “you have to schedule an appointment, you can’t just call whenever you want”. And it’s not to be selfish. I thought it was selfish of me to prioritize my health or education over my friend who needed my help. But I realized, I’m not a therapist, and I have to look out for myself too.I hit a point for a lot of folks where I have to go “I can’t help you with that. You need to speak with a professional.” Sometimes it takes time to convince them to go but it usually helps them.
Yes, there are mental illnesses that can manifest symptoms that are these things but that doesn’t mean you embrace them and accept them as okay behaviors. They’re abusive behaviors. And you have to learn how to manage them and not let those feelings jerk you around.
And before one of you comes back with a catty “lol neurotypicals” I’ve got an anxiety disorder and it took me literally up until last year to get help for it and there were times I was abusive and my fiance is fantastic because he shut that shit down fast and helped me to rationalize what I was feeling and learn better ways to cope. It was work. It wasn’t a cake walk. But I’m a better person for it and I feel better for it and it helped me stay stable until I could get therapy and medication to get more stable.
Your friends have lives and are people. You are not the centerpoint for them. There’s a really good quote that goes “mental illness has a really sinister way of making it all about YOU” like say, with anxiety, you go to a store and feel like everyone is staring at you or judging you when in reality it’s just people shopping. They probably don’t even notice you. You hear friends talking about someone but not specifically so you think it must be you and it must be bad. It blows.
For me, I would stop myself when I had those thoughts, pause and remind myself “There’s a good chance this isn’t about you. There’s a good chance friend is just busy. Does that suck? Yeah, but it’s not their fault. They have shit to do. Let’s find something to occupy our time until they get back to us.” then I’d go play a game or something.
Learning skills like that will improve your relationships with others because you’re not only focused on you.mental illness is not an excuse to be abusive.
A little louder for the ppl in the back
Bolded for importance
I said something along the lines of OPs original and got called albeist LMFAO
tbh fenris laughs at most of the jokes hawke makes?? like he’s obviously more reserved in public & around the rest of the hawke squad (esp in act 1) but in private it’s definitely implied that he finds hawke genuinely funny. his sense of humor is just as ridiculous as hawke’s. what i’m trying to say here is: less long suffering eye rolling fenris, more fenris coughing into his hand to hide his amusement when hawke cracks a terrible joke.
A vertical forest is expected to be completed this year in Milan. There are two tower apartment complexes which contain a total of 400 residential units. The facade of the buildings will be covered with 730 trees, 5,000 shrubs, and 11,000 perennial plants. It is expected to have the same ecological impact as 10,000 square meters of forest.
Aside from fighting smog and producing oxygen, the foliage is expected to provide insulation to the residential units.
[x]
Someone please live with me here omg
My middle school orchestra teacher has this hanging in her room. It’s fantastic.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tds0qoxWVss
This is what it sounds like. REALLY good song.
My friend keeps practising it. Fucking amazing. I’m fairly certain the music got written by someone doodling geometric figures on a sheet of music paper and then realizing they’d actually written the song of the gods.
i feel like i’ve said this loads of times across dozens of different posts already but man, here goes: i honestly feel that john egbert is one of the few characters out there who sets the gold standard for male protags - posited as good guys - who are capable of being snarky and rude and honest to a fault and even mean at times WITHOUT undermining their intended lovability to both the audience and their in-canon friendgroup, because john is both genuinely adorable and made of the Good Stuff deep down when it comes core kindness and moral integrity and it shows in-text
Yes. Yes I am.
I’m offended by people using the term cishet for alot of reasons. Firstly because you never know. You never know when someone is trans* And alot of people who’re trans* don’t want you to know.
Yes, I get it, cisgendered people are happy with their gender, and don’t have to deal with the same things trans* persons do. But most cisgendered people just so happen to have other problems. And I get that some cisgendered people are fucking assholes, and I get that some heterosexual people are fucking assholes.
But get this, when people use ‘cishet’ as an insult it makes me, a transgendered person, feel like shit. Because you’re making fun of people for what they identify as. the same thing trans* persons have to avoid, fight, and work through their entire life. It doesn’t matter who you’re doing this to, it’s fucking disgusting.
It doesn’t matter if its ‘not the same’ or ‘not as offensive’ or ‘a joke’ it’s just as bad. cisphobia pisses me off so badly.
Because sure there’s alot of cisgendered people who don’t understand and are fucking cock suckers, but let me tell you about how if it weren’t for the help of many people, 99% of which just so happening to be cisgendered, I wouldn’t be who I am today. I wouldn’t be the fucking man I am today. You know where I would be? In my fucking grave.
You don’t know a person just because they’re cisgendered and happy to be that way. you don’t fucking know a person if they’re transgendered and happy to be that way. why don’t we stop fucking sterotyping, and stop fucking hating AS MANY PEOPLE AS FUCKING POSSIBLE instead of pushing our hate toward a group of people who is the media’s vision of ‘normal’.
This is a really interesting perspective.
This user needs an award. Like now.
To be honest, I think cisphobia can almost even be considered transphobia.
Guess what I, as a trans man, want to do?
Transition to become a cis man. I wish I had been born a cis male. God, do I wish every fucking day that I had just been born cis and in the right goddamn body. What’s even worse is that I’ll never be exactly the way I should be, because the technology just isn’t there yet. I’m always going to be stuck in a weird in-between place with the surgeries I’ve decided to have.
So when people say, “I hate cis people,” that’s kind of like saying, “I hate what trans people wish they were. I hate what trans people may someday become. I hate post-op trans people who have successfully transitioned.”
That’s what so many of us are striving to be accepted as. We want to pass as cis. We want people to look at us and say, “Oh, they’re male/female!”
Cisphobes are pissing all over us in an attempt to piss on cis people (who they are also pissing on, don’t get me wrong). Even if this couldn’t be considered a form of transphobia, it’s still disgusting and childish, and it does nothing for us in the long run. Sure, it might feel good to “vent” right now, but what about years from now, when cis people fucking detest us, when we still don’t have our rights, because you little shits don’t know how to “vent” without being assholes? You’re hurting people. You’re threatening to kill people. You advocate genocide, rape, and murder.
Then you mock cis people when they get understandably upset, when they’re hurt by your words. You mock them for being human. You mock them for having emotions. You mock depressed people, suicidal people, even gay men and women, bisexuals, pansexuals.
Not only are you mocking trans people who wish that they could be cis or who have already fully transitioned, you are mocking 99% of the Earth’s population for their gender identities while simultaneously screeching about how trans people shouldn’t be mocked for their gender identities.
It’s fucking bullshit all around, folks! You’re trying so hard to be cruel to the majority that you’ve started being cruel to the minority, as well. Oh, what a tangled, hypocritical web you shitstains on existence weave!
One of these days, I’m going to be a fucking man. I’m going to look like a man, and I’m going to act like a man. I’m going to be what I should have been all along, and I bet you whiny little fucks will call me cis. To me, that won’t be a fucking insult. That will be a fucking medal that I worked hard to earn. I will have gone through surgery, I will have spent my life savings, I will have alienated the majority of my family, I will have given up so much just to be comfortable in my body, just to not hurt like I do now, and you think that calling me “cis” will hurt me, because it’s supposed to be an insult.
Nah. Y’all have no fuckin’ idea. Get outta here with your cisphobic, transphobic asses.
What especially stands out to me with this post is that “cishet scum” can also be thrown at trans people who haven’t come out of the closet about their gender identity because of unsupportive family and friends and being afraid of losing them. I hadn’t really thought of that before, but they do have a point. If you aren’t aware that someone is trans and aren’t corrected about the pronouns you’re using for them, you’re identifying them as a cis-whatever-they-are and thus referring to them when you say “cis scum” and threatened them with death threats - which they’d be getting anyway if they came out of the closet from transphobic assholes.
I think my mind was just blown.
saying “eww cishets!!” and “lol cis tears” doesn’t count as oppression, but it sure as hell counts as you being an asshole
Reblog if this is a lie and you have made amazing friends on the internet.
I have some things to say on this dirk/roxy matter.
Dirk wasn’t in the best mood before his crazy ass friends arrived and i doubt seeing them like that helped at all. Finding out Roxy had been drinking after being sober for so long would have just been the cherry on…
i’d be a lot more productive if i got experience points for doing things
50 Shades of Abuse Flyer - Canada
Use, redistribute, print.
Click image and magnify for large version.
Okay. I understood all the flack Twilight got for being an abusive relationship. Because it was and it was being read by a very young and impressionable audience. But ffs, 50 Shades is an ADULT NOVEL. Iit is about a BDSM couple. Which - newsflash - do exist. It is a completely consensual form of dominate/submissive sex play. The whole concept of domestic violence and abuse is that one side exerts control over an unwilling victim. I don’t recall Anastasia, or whatever she’s called, protesting to Christian’s form of sex. If I remember correctly, she quite enjoyed it! So before you condemn a work of romanticized fiction, actually consider it’s audience and remember that they are mature and capable enough to know the difference between reality and fiction.
so i guess you didn’t read the parts where he coerces her and the part where he continues after she has used her safeword and acts like a fucking creep whenever they aren’t having sex
it is the worst possible introduction to BDSM i could imagine
i know my shit okay
im hoping the people defending this book are 1. never getting into BDSM 2. not currently into BDSM 3. havent read the book bc i dont want to believe anyone is that fucking stupid
Let me
just
fucking
drop
some fucking
knowledge on you right now.
Wanna know the BDSM mantra? Safe, sane, consensual.
So let me explain why this book was devoid of all three of these things.
Safe - In the first few chapters of the novel, Christian Grey tracks Ana’s cell phone to find her at a club. Takes her home when she’s drunk, changes her when she’s so intoxicated she doesn’t remember him doing so,and informs her he will be keeping tabs on her for her own benefit. This is not the behaviour of a respectable Dominant. This is the behaviour of a power hungry, abusive asshole who really can’t take no for an answer.
Sane - One of the most important parts of BDSM is aftercare. Scenes can be extremely traumatizing and intense for the submissive. Aftercare is anything from petting to cuddling to holding to sweet talking, whatever degree of gentleness a bottom would need to pull them out of “subspace”. How does Christian provide aftercare? He submits Ana to a traumatizing first time spanking experience AND THEN FUCKING LEAVES. AND GETS MAD THAT SHE DIDN’T TELL HIM SHE WAS UPSET. He’s the one who should fucking know better! That, again, is not the act of a responsible Dominant. It’s the act of a selfish abuser.
Consensual - Did I mention he undressed her when she was belligerently drunk? Tracked her phone to locate her? He also buys her a new car despite her saying no countless times. Now, consent is important for any kind of sexual activity at all. Consent means informed, consent means enthusiastic. Informed, enthusiastic consent. This is crucial in a BDSM setting. Scenes can be extremely intense, especially for the bottom. What is Christian’s form of obtaining consent? Handing Ana a fucking contract highlighting all the things he wants to do her asshole and asking her to sign it. She was a virgin (Don’t even get me fucking started.) who had never before been exposed to BDSM. Entering in that kind of relationship takes a gargantuan amount of trust and knowledge so you know exactly what you’re getting into. Not reading a list of kinks on a piece of paper and signing your rights to say no away. Christian didn’t offer her resources, he didn’t offer her information. He gave her an ultimatum. That is not the sort of consent a responsible Dom/me would seek from their submissive.
Fuck. This. book. It’s written in a shitty way, it’s a terrible example of a BDSM relationship (ask anybody already involved in the lifestyle and watch them go blue in the face just thinking about it), which is already faced with enough prejudice and misunderstand, and it romanticizes and glorifies abuse.
therearenoreasonsformyexistence:
I am not pro-adoption.
I am not pro-abortion.
I am not pro-murder.
I am not pro-keeping-the-baby.
I am pro-“whatever is the best outcome for your current circumstances.”
YOURS.
Not mine.
YOURS.
I am pro-“I cannot make the choice for someone else”.
I’m also pro-“it’s not any of my fucking business”
