mineapple:

Your name is JOHONN EGBERT, and you are a TROLL.

You’re not sure why you even made that specification. Of course you are a troll. You’ve always been a troll, for your whole SEVEN SWEEPS of living. To need to specify like that implies that, at some point in time, you were, or will be, NOT A TROLL.

You are becoming dangerously SELF-AWARE. You immediately dismiss the non-troll NONSENSE.

Anyway.

Your name is JOHONN. JONN for short, though, since your name is STUPID and making people try to pronounce it correctly is also STUPID. You are a PRANKING MASTER, your CHEERIFYING TRICKS and TERRORFUL TRAPS gaining a reputation all of their own for their INGENUITY and LASTING CONSEQUENCES, in the rare occasions when you are spurred into anger.

You have been told that you may be considered for conscription into the secretive but apparently illustrious LAUGHSASSINS GUILD upon your maturity, despite your atypical blood colour for the profession. You don’t know how you feel about this, but you have been ‘AssureD’ that it is an utmost HONOUR.

Other than PRANKING, your INTERESTS include DRESSING UP IN DISGUISES, COMEDY MOVIES, and GAMES, especially if they are of the BATSU variety. You could say you have rudimentary skills in PROGRAMMING, if by RUDIMENTARY you mean TERRIBLE.

You have started to use a new chat client called TROLLIAN, which is only in it’s beta stage. Your trolltag is cachinnatoryGallivantor and you tend to speak in an aiiiiry and casual manner, laughing all the while.

What will you do?