1f we’re be1ng honest, wh1ch we are… because 1t just a1n’t fly 1f we weren’t… then 1 gotta say that 1 don’t know why 1’m so skittish. 1t’s a b1g load of b*ll 1f you ask me… but 1 don’t know how to f1x 1t, doll.
1 always adm1red you as a roleplayer… d1d you know that two of my muses had th1ng for your d1rk? so that’s gotta say someth1ng… about you and your sk1lls, you know? rad stuff, dude… 1 don’t th1nk you should worry about anyth1ng, yeah.
maybe 1t’s how 1 always feel obl1gated to do th1ngs… or maybe because 1 want to be perfect. 1 bet you know that feel1ng, doll… perfect1on1st’s woes and yeah. gotta overcome that to get back in the game… th1ngs’ll be pretty dope aga1n 1f 1 can just do that. but 1 doubt 1’m strong enough to get there… too eas1ly stressed.
1’m try1ng, 1 th1nk. maybe 1 am, maybe 1’m not… that’s one of those th1ngs that’s real open to 1nterpretat1on, you know? 1 don’t th1nk 1 am, but chuffy l1kes to say otherw1se. she’s one dynam1te gal, but 1 reckon she’s too n1ce to me…
po1nt of th1s conversat1on 1s that the more 1 persevere, the worse 1 get… to the po1nt where 1 s1t down and sob. leg1t1mately sob, doll. really pathet1c stuff…
1’m sort of hopeless. yeah.
i FEEL YOU, aLOT, i THINK, aBOUT THE PERFECTIONISM AND THE WEIRD STRESS THAT COMES OUT OF, wELL, nOWHERE,
tHE KIND THAT YOU CAN’T REALLY FIGHT, sINCE YOU DON’T REALLY KNOW WHY IT’S THERE,
hEH, aH, lIKE THE PUSHING THROUGH IT AND FEELING BETTER AFTERWARD THING? tHAT’S KIND OF RARE FOR ME, iT’S GOOD WHEN IT HAPPENS, bUT OTHERWISE YOU FEEL LIKE OF,,,sTUCK,
iN YOUR COMFORT ZONE, wHERE YOU FEEL AT HOME,
hOMESTUCK, i GUESS YOU CAN SAY? (sORRY, tHAT WAS TERRIBLE,)
i MEAN, i DON’T EXACTLY KNOW WHAT IT’D FEEL LIKE TO BE OBLIGATED TO ROLEPLAY, oR DRAW, bUT I CAN IMAGINE IT DOESN’T HELP, aND WOULD, uH, eASILY SCARE ME INTO A ‘iF I DON’T DO ANYTHING, tHEN I CAN’T BE BAD AT ANYTHING’ KIND OF MINDSET? aND I DON’T EVEN HAVE THE FOLLOWING YOU DO (tHAT YOU DESERVE, oF COURSE, bUT I’D BE INTIMIDATED? wOW,)
aLSO, wOAH, wHAT? tWO OF YOUR MUSES? i KNOW YOUR FEATHERED CUTIE, hEH, wAS ONE, bUT, aH, tHE OTHER?
i THINK YOU’RE A, pRETTY AWESOME ROLEPLAYER YOURSELF, sO, lIKE, eVEN IF YOU DOUBT YOURSELF, tHAT IS STILL A THING THAT IS TRUE,
mY LIKING YOUR RPING, thAT IS,
mY CONFIDENCE AS A ROLEPLAYER KIND OF TOOK A FEW HITS WHEN DIRK WAS ACTIVE, wHICH I SUPPOSE IS PART OF WHY I HAVE DIFFICULTY GETTING BACK INTO IT, bUT,,, iT’S NICE TO KNOW THAT I WASN’T AWFUL, yOU KNOW? }:) tHANKS,
i THINK, aND HAVE TOLD OTHERS, tHOUGH, tHAT ROLEPLAYING, aBOVE ALL THINGS, nEEDS TO BE fun, oR ELSE THERE’S NO POINT DOING IT, dON’T FORCE YOURSELF, dON’T FEEL BAD FOR NOT WANTING TO, aND DON’T TRIVIALIZE YOUR FEELINGS,
tHE WAY YOU FEEL IS LEGIT, aND NOT PATHETIC, sOMETIMES THINGS JUST MAKE YOU FEEL, nOT SO GREAT, aND YOU’RE ALLOWED TO FEEL THAT WAY,
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