stfusexists:

robot-heart-politics:

raptorific:tornadobeard:raptorific:tornadobeard:

Dan Sabato is one of those guys who can’t figure out why he doesn’t have any close friends who have his back on the regular.  

I actually do have a lot of close friends who have my back on the regular. Most of them are women, in fact. Funny thing, when you have someone else’s back, they tend to have yours too. 

Did you really have to bust this guy’s balls though?  You couldn’t just empathize with him? Or just not say anything?

I understand the point you were trying to get across but is a social forum, where everyone can see what he’s feeling, and then to post it on another forum, really the way to do it?  Seems like you may have just made his time a little more difficult than it needed to be.

Yes, I really had to “bust this guy’s balls.” He was expressing internalized misogyny and an attitude that vilifies women for things entirely beyond their control, and even if he doesn’t know this is what he’s doing, he needs to be called out. No, I couldn’t empathize with him, because he was being an asshole. I couldn’t “just not say anything” because then I’m abusing my privilege as much as he is. 

I’d have made his time more difficult than it needed to be had I not whited out his surname and blurred his image so it couldn’t be traced back to him. In fact, y’all don’t know if “Peter” is actually the name of the guy who posted this or if I put a generic first name so you couldn’t find him. I posted it on tumblr because I thought it was an important exchange for people to consider, and screencapping was easier than contextualizing it as a first-person narrative. 

What I really don’t appreciate, though, is the insinuation that even though my point is valid, I should just shut up about it (Ref: “Or just not say anything?”) in an attempt to spare his feelings (Ref: “Did you really have to bust this guy’s balls though?”) by not pointing out to him that he’s being a giant sexist. That line of thinking is the same one of people who think that being called sexist is just as bad as being the victim of sexism.

Dan Sabato, thanks for having OUR backs and not putting up with that friend zone noise.