okay should i be worried that over the course of my life my opinion on gaining eternal youth went from

‘no way ill have my loved ones die and leave me behind’

to

'eh i can always get more loved ones and then i wont be rushed all the time’

to

'fuck i really want eternal youth i want to live forever and see how civilization grows or doesnt grow i want to see all the kinds of people that come to be i want to see how my bloodline will fare generations onward i want to just experience life without the inevitability of not only death closing in on me but also of deadlines and feeling like i dont have enough time for me and my mental capabilities with dealing with things’

i mean come on thats like villainy step one right?