kohgi:

mineapple:

Why, hello there. My name is DOC SIM, and you may call me such. You’ve heard of me- in fact, it wouldn’t be a risk to bet that you’ve even been a fan of me at some point. You might hate me now, but I am utterly indifferent to you fandoms’ ever-changing opinions. You’ll like me again, soon enough, I assure you. It’s your way. I am a constant of this universe- It’s guardian, you might say.

Oh, do not be wary of me- I am a proper host. Resume your business, and I’ll resume my ever-omniscient watch upon you. Get comfortable. Help yourself to my facilities- like the swimming pool, here. I’m sure it will satisfy…

Just don’t be surprised when the ladder is gone when you make to leave.

I am legitimately terrified and turned on please send help.

Oh, do not despair; that is a common reaction. Unfortunately, I have no time to spare for WOOHOOs of any kind or quadrant; it is a full-time job simply controlling the entire universe as you know it. But, how about a swim?