cheppo:

the story is that the beta kids all live in a house together and one day Dave convinces John to join him on an epic manly quest to snoop through the girls’ room in search of The Promised Land aka Lacy Panty Partyland but then they hear Jade and Rose coming up the stairs and in a panic hide themselves in the storage closet. Everything collapses on them and if they move a single centimeter the whole thing will come down with a bang so they’ve got to stay perfectly still, and John’s freaking out about their fate OH MY GOD DAVE I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU WE’RE GOING TO DIE OH MY GOD NEVER AGAIN I’M SO SORRY GOD

and Dave, Dave’s having his own mental crisis overload and he’s just thinking

oh my god, do i touch his butt, it - it’s right there and if i held on then we’d be more stable and shit or whatever, but do i

DO I TOUCH THE BUTT