The Daedric Princes as Tumblr Textposts

Azura: How does one turn their emotions off

Boethiah: stealing is a crime AND drugs is a crime but if you steal drugs the two crimes cancel each other out and it is basically like doing a good

Clavicus Vile: my idiot dog just sprained his tail from wagging it too hard like this is the dumbest thing

Hermaeus Mora:i remember way too many small details about people so i have to act dumb sometimes so i don’t freak them out

Hircine: beauty and the beast but reverse, i kiss the love of my life and she turns into a sick fucking monster and its awesome

Jyggalag: how do people have the energy to do stuff? You know what stuff leads to? More stuff. That’s how they get you

Malacath: - grow up to have children

- hide babies all over the place

- when the kid asks “where do babies come from” respond with “where DONT they come from” and pull one from a cabinet

Mehrunes Dagon: there’s a special place in hell reserved just for me

it’s called the throne

Mephala: reblog if you don’t have a bra on

Meridia: why can’t zombies just like eat bread or something

Molag Bal: Be the villain you were born to be. Stop waiting around for someone to come along and corrupt you. Succumb to the darkness yourself

Namira: cannibalism would solve both overpopulation AND world hunger so I mean

Nocturnal: CAW CAW MOTHERFUCKERS

Peryite: Who would win: all of Europe or a sick rat

Sanguine: keep your friends close, but the people who have a chance of becoming famous closer

Sheogorath: i either dress like im going to a red carpet event or like im a homeless drug addict there is no in between

Vaermina: its funny because people think im quiet

but im just listening to everyone’s conversations

and figuring out your weaknesses