klanced
not to keep flooding your dashes but like

Krolia: (flying the ship in contemplative silence)

Keith: (hesitantly approaches her from behind) (quietly) Can we talk?

Krolia: (immediately sets the ship to auto-pilot and faces him) Of course.

Keith: I… I’ve been thinking about what you said. About why you had to leave. (stares at the space over her shoulder and licks his lips) And I understand why you left but I don’t- I don’t forgive you. (he turns and meets her eyes directly) Because I’ve spent my entire life thinking that you didn’t l-love me, or that you left because I’m not good enough, and even though that wasn’t why you left I still thought it, and no one told me I was wrong because no one was ever around. Dad was gone and you weren’t there. You weren’t there.

Krolia: Keith-

Keith: No. No! You weren’t there! And I- I’m a Blade now, okay, I get it, the mission always comes first, but you weren’t there, and- I was alone. On Earth. Did you know I was alone?

Krolia: I’m sorry.

Keith: If you’d known, would you have come back?

Krolia:

Keith: Right. (he scrubs at his eyes) Right, of course. The mission. Okay. Okay. (he presses his palms against his eyes and tilts his head back) Right. Fuck!

Krolia: Keith, please look at me. Please. (he reluctantly does) I know that I’ve done nothing to earn your trust, and I know that my opinion means nothing to you, but don’t you ever for a second believe that you aren’t good enough. Because you are worth far, far more than anything I ever gave you. I have loved you, Keith, from the moment I knew I carried you, and I fell even more in love with you the first time I held you, and I turned away from that love even as I thought I was protecting it the second I walked away from you. I sometimes regret becoming a mother, (Keith flinches) but never because of you. I have never regretted you, Keith. I regret the mother that I have been to you. I regret the choices I have made, and the life I have given you, and I wish- I wish you’d had a happy life. I wish I was a mother who made you happy. I’m sorry, instead, for the world I chose to bring you into; and I’m sorry for the hurt I chose to give you. I know you’re not ready to hear it, but I-

Keith: Please. Don’t.

(They stand in silence for a moment)

Keith: … I don’t know where to go from here.

Krolia: Whatever you want. Whatever you want, Keith.

Keith: If I told you to leave, would you?

Krolia: (closes her eyes)

Krolia: If it would make you happy, yes.

(Another pause)

Keith: Right. Okay. That wouldn’t make me happy. (Krolia gives an audible sigh of relief) But I just want to make it clear that, that we’re not just gonna be some big happy family. Okay? Because- I had to learn to live without you. So even when I wanted you, I didn’t- I don’t need you. I don’t need a mom. Understand?

Krolia: (swallows once; twice) (quietly) Yes. Of course. (she makes to move past him) I- You wanted us to pilot in shifts, correct? I’ll take my leave now-

Keith: (he hesitates, before grabbing her wrist) Wait. Wait. I don’t… I don’t need you in my life. But I think- I’m willing- I want you to stay. Or at least stick around, for a while. But don’t do it because you think you have to, okay? Because I’m not your obligation, and I’m not- I’m not your second chance. But I want- You’re a Blade, so I trust you, but I’d like to get to know you better. If that’s… if that’s also something you want?

Krolia: Yes! Yes, of course Keith. I’d love- I’ll stay as long as you’ll have me. (she gestures for him to sit) Besides, I owe you some answers, don’t I?

Keith: Yeah. You have no idea. (he pauses before sitting down) And thank you, Krolia.

Krolia: What for?

Keith: You broke mission protocol to save me. And I know it’s because I’m your son, but thank you-

Krolia: I didn’t do it because you’re my son.

Keith: What?

Krolia: (staring straight ahead) A long time ago, I had to leave someone behind for the sake of the mission. I was told that I had followed protocol and done the right thing. But I realized, then, that everything we do- every mission we take, every chance we seize to undermine the Galra Empire- none of it means anything if someone fails to come home. Since then, I’ve refused to leave anyone behind; not if I can help it. Kolivan hates my change of heart, calls it a liability. (snorts) It’s why he assigns me so many solo missions, I suppose.

Keith:

Krolia: Keith?

Keith: Why did you join the Blades? I mean, uh, if you can tell me that is…

Krolia: All the questions in the world, and you choose that one? … Well, I was younger than you are now, just a cub, really…