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What I See

ilovelocust:

Notes: Day Two of Sheith Positivity Week, Sun/Stars. Still trying to keep these on the happier side of things, but the angst keeps slipping through.

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“Do you remember when we used to sit on my dad’s old tin roof and look at the stars?” Shiro doesn’t answer. He might not even hear Keith speaking. Still trapped in whatever nightmarish memory the large alien at the party had inspired. Keith had seen Shiro’s muscles start to lock up when he spotted the alien’s slimy green hide, and he’d quickly guided him into this side room before he could have a breakdown in public. Now he was just talking without purpose, trying to give Shiro a rope back to the real world for when he was ready, “There was no one for miles and miles. On moonless nights, we could see every star in the sky.”

Those nights were some of his fondest memories. Shiro’s presence warm beside, laughing and pointing out constellations, sometimes coming up with outlandish stories about what they’d find out there when they both became pilots. The stories had ended up fitting reality more closely than either had expected, “Of course, you didn’t always go out there to look at the stars did you.” Keith smiles as he remembers. One full moon night, Shiro had stopped staring at the stars and started staring at him, “You told me I had stars in my eyes. That you didn’t need to look up to see galaxies, when you could just look at me.”

“You-you called me ridiculous,” Shiro says quietly, as if it pains him to speak. Keith sets his hand down between them, were Shiro can reach out and grab hold if he wants. Touching when he hasn’t yet come fully back can have bad results.

“What did you expect? You can’t just spring something like that on a guy with no build up. You embarrassed me.” Keith laughs. Shiro had taken him so off guard that night, he’s surprised he’d been able to say anything at all, “Thank goodness it was dark, or I’d probably looked like a tomato. I don’t think my cheeks have ever felt that hot.”

“You were cute. Your ears turned red.” Shiro’s voice was stronger. A pained smile on his lips.

“You’re biased. You think everything I do is cute.” Keith scooches a little closer, and is rewarded with Shiro leaning in to bump shoulders with him, “You’re lucky I’m secure in my masculinity, or I might be insulted by how much you like to coo at me.”

“I am lucky,” Shiro’s smile disappears leaving only sadness, “I don’t deserve you.”

Keith frown. He hates how Shiro can’t seem to accept that he’s more than worthy of Keith, “Do you know what I see when I look at you?”

“A scarred up killer,” Shiro says, tearing himself down like always.

“The Sun,” Keith reaches out and taps Shiro’s chest right over his heart, “Right here. No matter what happens to you, there is this big ball of warmth you share with everyone you meet. You have every reason to give up, but instead you keep shining your light so others can find there way. You bring hope and strength to your team and your allies.” Keith kisses Shiro’s cheek, “You are my personal Sun, Takashi, and I’m the one who is lucky to have gotten a second chance with you.”