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Thoughts on Knowledge or Death

dragonescence:

I reread Audeamus by @runicscribbles and @itdans the other day, and because I have further disrespect for my already fragile Sheith-loving heart, I decided to rewatch S2E8 last night. 

And I’ve come to some conclusions. 

The quickest one is this: that is definitely Papa Kogane. As in, Keith’s biological dad. The more I look, the more I see Keith’s eyes and mouth in that man. The more I can see his jaw line one day evening out to be like his father’s. Keith is definitely half human. 

Only question is, how much Galra is his other half?

But that’s not what I’m here for. I’m here for Knowledge or Death. 

Keith clearly had to achieve something in order to awaken the blade, and therefore pass the Trials of Marmora. He thinks he has to fight through every living Blade or whatever, to prove his strength or resilience. We all know that the true test was in the mindscape. 

First instance: the knife, or Shiro. Keith is still desperate to find some kind of connection to who he is. He’s been alone and floating in the vast emptiness of his own existence most of his life. Of course he wants to know. He needs to feel something in the same way Pidge, Lance, and Hunk feel about their families and their homes on Earth.

He chooses the knife. 

Shiro turns to leave. And within a few steps, Keith realizes he’s made a mistake and runs after him, begging him to wait. 

Second instance: the knife, or joining the fight against the Galra. This is a sucker punch because now we know that desert shack was his home, not just some temporary space. And he’s facing someone who is part of his past, his father, just as he remembers him, probably. 

(Lots has already been said about how Keith sees Shiro as present Shiro - scar and white hair and metal arm - and not dwelling on the happier past Shiro from the Garrison. It shows Keith’s total acceptance of Shiro, which Shiro will return shortly.)

So Keith is standing tantalizingly close to answers to his past. The house he lived in, his father - a link he no longer has, for reasons we don’t know - and the knife in his father’s hands. Hell, it’s on the small of his back when we first see him, strapped to his belt just as Keith carries it now. 

But Keith knows what’s at stake in this instance. He remembers his mistake in the first instance, the immediate regret. 

He rejects the knife. 

He walks out the door, and ultimately wakes up. The mindscape trial ends. 

The Trial of Marmora ends. 

Did Shiro and Kolivan see that? Because next thing we see is Red tearing shit up and the screens they’d been using to watch the Trial showed nothing but static. I don’t think we know for certain. Maybe they saw his choice, but did not see if the Trial ended?

Then Shiro is there beside Keith and looks pretty much ready to take down everyone in the room if it meant they could escape. Antok (I think) attacks to forcibly take the knife from Keith, but Shiro intervenes and they lock in. 

Third instance: the knife, or Shiro. The real Shiro. The Shiro who did not so airily tell him to give up the knife. The Shiro who was ready to defend Keith’s right to the knife even if it meant flattening everyone in that room or die trying. 

Keith chooses Shiro. Or, he chooses everything that means rejecting the knife. Because he learned he would regret the choice of the knife in the first instance. In the second instance it was clear that rejecting the knife was the right choice. 

That was Knowledge. 

If he had chosen to stay in that instance with his father, waiting for his mother, he would have most likely died in the mindscape. 

If he chooses to keep the knife in the third instance it was highly likely he and Shiro would both be killed trying to escape. 

That was Death. 

So he chooses Shiro. He uses what he’s learned to make a third choice, and that awakens the blade. 

And this is all well and good, because for plot purposes, this really, really works. Knowledge or Death isn’t just some fancy-schmancy ideal: it matters. It matters that Keith learns what he needed to in order to pass the Trial and earn his right to the knife, and therefore securing an alliance. 

But I saw something that hit me very, very hard. 

Look at Shiro’s face. 

A second ago he looked ready to kill. Now, he’s gobsmacked. 

(Again, a lot has already been said about how awed and floored Shiro looks when Keith awakens the blade, that if anyone deserved to be there for this point of Keith’s life, we’re all glad it’s him. But this is moments before that.)

He watched the mindscape trial. He watched a version of himself come to Keith - “At this moment, your friend desperately wants to see you.” - and watched Keith reject him and choose the knife instead. 

I’m not sure Shiro expected Keith to make a different choice. I think he was certain Keith would make the same choice as he did in the mindscape, because he thinks he knows Keith well enough to know that Keith does not easily give up a fight. 

Look at his face. 

Keith chose him over the thing that has been agonizing him for who knows how long. Keith chose him over the reason he was always alone and lost. Keith chose him over finally ending his aimless floating in the vast emptiness of his existence. 

Keith. Chose. Him. 

Platonic or romantic, that means a hell of a lot to Shiro. That means a hell of a lot to their dynamic. 

So how could Shiro not hug him before they parted in S2E9? How could he not? 

Keith had chosen him.