the reason why the dirkjohn shitpost ending of “dirk decks john” or “dirk lunges at him“ is so tried and true and funny is because theres no way in hell dirk wins that fight. oh sure hes intimidating when hes got a fucking sword in his hands but hes built for speed, not power. john egbert is a fortified tank. unstoppable force meets immovable object. if john gets one good swing in its all over