Home

from whence ye came

  Message

whats up?

  me

who is mineapple?

  art

self-explanatory

  commissions open!

want me to draw something for you?

  Art Blog

just the arty bits

 

Please help me get out of my toxic home

doodlemancy:

I have chronic pain and generalized anxiety that prevent me from working more than one day a week. Due to my severe anxiety, I have not learned to drive. My mother just had emergency surgery due to a huge infection. My aunt has been staying with us to help with her recovery. They have a rocky relationship and because of their fighting, my home has been becoming less and less livable. I’ve been doing what I can to help, I’ve been throwing myself into it and putting my own needs third for weeks, but now my aunt is starting to act manipulative and passive-aggressive and asking me to take on unreasonable tasks (”I need you to learn to drive in two weeks”) and repeatedly trying to drag me into the conflicts between them against my will, even though I’ve clearly expressed to her that I don’t want to be involved. She uses her own mental illness and her sacrifice as a bludgeon to force me to comply. It makes me anxious just to overhear them fighting. I have been running at 110% power with almost no time to recharge since the 20th of April. I am constantly on edge, I can barely sleep, my ability to care for myself is getting sloppy and I’m not sure how much longer I can go on living under 24/7 emotional warfare, and because my mother was in such bad health and she keeps hitting bumps (a stroke, a cold, more abscesses) there is no clear end in sight to this. I could potentially be living in this miasma of hostility all summer.

I feel bad for them, but they’re toxic. My mother has been insensitive, dismissive, and passive-aggressive to me for years, even through the worst of my debilitating shoulder injury and the complete mental breakdown that followed it, and now my aunt is starting to hurt me too. I feel cornered and scared. I am reaching meltdown. My mental health is getting so bad that when they return from doctor’s appointments I go into a state of denial where I repeatedly convince myself they aren’t home yet. I have started to have suicidal thoughts. My therapist has advised me to remove myself from the situation if things continue this way. They need and deserve help, yes, but it cannot come from me. I have been desperate to leave for a long time, but I was waiting for a promise of stability, and now it’s become clear that I can’t wait any longer.

I need money to make my escape. It is also likely that wherever I move to will put me out of range of my job, and I will lose it.

If you like my art and are willing to throw some dollars my way, please consider supporting my Patreon. I’m working on a visual novel called Iron Company and you’ll get access to playable alphas.

If you’d like to, you can also donate via PayPal, my paypal email is doodlemancy@gmail.com. 

Please do not feel like you have to donate even if you know me. If you are a Patron already, please don’t feel pressured to raise your pledge. You are already helping. Please only give what you can afford to and are willing to. I promise I will pay it forward.