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pettyrevenge:

My girlfriend’s parents own a large parcel of land in a very rural area and behind it they have another larger parcel of land leased to hunt on. Last summer her father and I built a deer stand for me to hunt out and we put it on the hill between his brothers stand and his (unfinished) stand.

Well it’s not uncommon at all for people to leave equipment in frequently used deer stands. Equipment such as space heaters, binoculars, etc.

Anyway, about two weeks after hunting season was over and me and my girlfriend came back home her mother called and told us that someone had stolen her uncle’s binoculars, rangefinder, and even his space heater and had stolen the bottles of water I’d left in mine (yea really, water bottles) and left my door open to the elements. This pissed everyone off. Not least because their hunting lease is essentially their backyard. We were told they think he keeps coming back because a game camera went missing a week before and a couple days after the initial heist my door was swinging open again. So I began to plan.

My girlfriend’s parents raise goats. In their pasture they have an old rotting shed that’s not used anymore but the goats occasionally sleep in. I went out there once to help clean up a mess left by a coyote killing a baby goat and noticed the biggest wasp nest I’d ever seen. After having our stands broken into I got an idea.

I put on a slicker suit and pvc gloves along with one of my old SCBA masks from work and duct taped every possible seam. I got a wooden box and a garden sprayer full of water and carried it out to the nest. I sprayed all the wasps I could with water (they can’t fly if their wings are wet) and dislodged the nest and all the wasps I could find into the box. I then put the box into a cardboard box for a space heater I previously reinforced with duct tape and threw in some scrap metal to give it more weight. I then used scotch tape to seal all the corners and cracks except for some tiny air holes. So now I have a Big Box O’ Wasps ™.

I put the box in the corner of my stand and sure enough, a week or so later, my gf’s parents called me and said my stand was open again and the box was gone. I hope you open it inside your house, asshole.