Harry James Potter, describing a girl

Luna: odd, blonde, wears strange stuff.

Fleur (Canonically the hottest girl around, like): French, kinda hot but yeah whatever.

Cho: she cries.

Ginny (future wife!!!11!): Quidditch, freakles, kinda scary.

Harry James Potter, describing a guy

Cedric: dark hair, bright eyes, really pretty.

Sirius: Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. He’s awesome, I’m trembling. Beautiful.

Tom Riddle: Beautiful, pale, dark hair.

Draco Malfoy: literally sparkles in the sunlight. What is Draco up to? Where’s Draco? Draco, Draco, Draco, Draco. Pointy features. Really pale. Okay, but Draco, Draco, Draco?

How am I supposed to believe that Harry Potter is an heterosexual man?