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what steven universe character should you fight

  1. Garnet: Garnet does not want to fight you. This is because one punch from Garnet would render you so much paste on the ground. DO NOT FIGHT GARNET
  2. Amethyst: Amethyst wants to fight you. Amethyst has a lot of aggression to work out. Amethyst will deceive you by being short, then shapeshift into Purple Puma and beat you into the ground. Attempts to play psych games will just make her madder. Don't fight Amethyst.
  3. Pearl: DO NOT. Yeah, she looks like a crane on stilts, but under the fragile bird nerd exterior is a 6+thousand-year-old soldier who's survived at least one major war and is Better Than You at a lot of things. DO NOT FIGHT PEARL.
  4. Steven: You could fight Steven, but why would you want to? He's adorable. He loves everyone. He loves you. You'll just make him sad. Don't fight Steven. (Also, fighting Steven necessitates fighting all three of his moms. See above. Bad plan.)
  5. Connie: Connie is, like, twelve. Don't fight Connie. Also, you have no idea what skills she has. She's probably proficient in at least one martial art. Connie is twelve and you will lose
  6. Sadie: Sadie is tough and level-headed. You will lose.
  7. Lars: FIGHT LARS. Lars is a toothpick asshole with a temper. Goad him into starting a fight with you, then beat him. I guarantee you'll win. Fight Lars.
  8. Ronaldo: Pros to fighting Ronaldo: he's easily deceived and thinks he's a lot cooler than he is. Also, he's a jerk. Cons to fighting Ronaldo: Improvised weapons, pent-up frustration, might mistake you for an agent of the Diamond Authority. But let's be real, this guy got taken out by a pack of watermelons, you'll win.
  9. Lapis Lazuli: Lapis stole the ENTIRE OCEAN, and you want to fight her?
  10. Greg Universe: Come on, Greg's just trying his hardest. Be nice to the poor guy. You could probably take him, but you'd feel bad about it.
  11. Peridot: Fight Peridot. Separate her from her technology and I guarantee you could take her, easy. Fight the dorito nerd. Charge for tickets and popcorn.
  12. Jasper: FIGHT JASPER. You will lose. You will definitely lose. Your best hope is to dodge frantically while taunting her into a rage, matador-style. Doesn't matter. Fight her anyway. She's awful. Punch her in the nose. Crack her gem. Fight Jasper. I'll pay you.
  13. Rose Quartz: DON'T FIGHT ROSE QUARTZ. Rose Quartz is a literal warrior queen. She has an entire armory at her disposal. She led at least one war against her kind. Her weapon is a shield, for crying out loud, this is like fighting Gem Captain America. AVOID AT ALL COSTS.



May 17.2015 | 9667notes -
posted by:mineapple - via & src






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