bouletcorp:

-I can make things disappear

-I can talk to snakes

-I get flying mail

-YOU ARE A WIZARD, HARRY

-HUUUUUUH?!

-How does the hat chose in which house we belong?

-Ugh, I HATE MUGGLES! We should KILL ALL THE MUDBLOODS!

-SLYTHERIN!

-It must be REALLY magic!

-We are the most powerful wizards ever

-With our spells, the philosopher’s stone is impossible to get

-I GOT IT IN TWO SECONDS!

-Let’s buy a safe.

-No Potter, you won’t go to the village alone, do something less dangerous

-Mmmmh…

-HARRY POTTER IS FLYING AT 150 FEET, TRYING TO ESCAPE A BIG LEATHER BLUDGER RUSHING TO HIS FACE…

-According to you, why did Voldemort kill your parents?

-They were REALLY strong?

-No, because of a prophecy. I have to drop the key.

-Aw Shit.

(Ok this one is impossible to understand for non-french people. There is a french TV show called “Fort Boyard” here. The candidates have to pass tests to get the keys of the next rooms. (by fighting opponents, or getting it in a jar full of giant spiders, or climbing a wall…) One of the tests is an old man telling a riddle: if the candidate doesn’t answer right, he drops the key in the sea and the loser has to dive to get it.)

-Hey Ron, I have an invisibility cape! Let’s go to the girls bathroom!

-Hee hee! GREAT idea!

-Hey Moaning Myrtle, can you help us find the man-eating giant snake?

-That’s not exactly what I had in mind…