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TRIGGER WARNING : ABUSE, SEXUAL ABUSE, CHILD ABUSE, DEATH THREATS, FAT SHAMING, BULLYING, ANIMAL ABUSE

jackalltimebarakat:

jackalltimebarakat:

If you follow me, you’ve probably seen my campaign before. But there are some things that I have avoided talking about and I feel that if I’m asking people to please help me, you guys deserve to know the truth.

My mom started dating my step dad when I was two, so unfortunately I don’t know a life without him in it. My first memory? I was being knocked out of a chair at five years old. This was the start of the next decade of hell for me. Over the next ten years, my mom “left” my step dad over fifteen times. Every time, she returned to him. Regardless of how badly he treated me, she always went back. He was extremely verbally and emotionally abusive, and although he was not often physically abusive, when he was, it was intense and horrifying.

At one point when I was six years old, he refused to buy my mother and I any food because I am not his biological child. Because of this, I only ate at school and had to steal food from the store to eat at home.

He threatened to “chop” me up into pieces and “put me down the garbage disposal” so nobody would find the remains. He threatened to murder my mom and I many times throughout the years.

Another point in time, he would turn the water supply off when he left the house so that we could not use it without his permission.

From the time I was five until we left permanently at fourteen, he constantly called me a fat cunt, a waste of space, told me I should have been aborted, constantly made fun of my weight, told me I’d never find love, etc. This man was extremely emotionally and verbally abusive towards me. When I was 14, he forced me to sleep in a cricket and beetle infested basement that flooded all of the time.

I wasn’t allowed to have friends over, I wasn’t allowed to do anything or go places. No internet, no phone, no contact with anyone he didn’t want me to contact.

I was bullied very badly in school (I went to 10 schools and was bullied at all of them,) and because my home life was toxic as well, I had no safe haven.

When I got my dog, she was like my saving grace. The little beacon of hope I needed. He abused her as well, one time throwing her against the garage door when she wouldn’t stay in the spot he told her to.

When I was 14, I took action against him and he told my mom I had to leave his home.

He has been in and out of my life since then, of course not by my choice.

My mother may attribute that situation to her issues, but I find no excuse for her abuse either. My mother has not been a parent to me and because of risk of this getting back to her, please message me if you want to know specifics.

Since we left him when I was 14, we have been homeless three times.

I have been homeless since early July 2014. I have no family or friends who can help, and because I am disabled (and not receiving disability benefits) the only source of income I have had in the past year was from sex work. For certain reasons, I can’t continue sex work right now. Therefore, I have no home, and I have no income.

My dog is currently living with my cousin who I stayed with temporarily this year (extremely toxic environment. I was having panic attacks daily, I was unable to sleep because I had literally nowhere to sleep. I have a chronic bone disease so the floor is not an option, and he asked me to leave for reasons I can explain in a message, if you’re interested in details.)
My dog can not stay there for very long. I am currently renting a temporary room from a friend’s family member. I can not stay here past February.

I hate asking for help because it is a strong goal of mine to be independent, but I have to. I am asking for help raising $3,600 in time to move. This will pay for a new home including the pet deposit so I can be reunited with my dog. It will also pay for groceries and bills to start.

I need help, and I don’t know what to do.

I have anxiety and obsessive compulsive disorder. This situation has elevated my anxiety attacks and is preventing me from staying optimistic like I want to be. I am harboring a lot of pain, and this is the way to feel better; to be out of this situation.

The link to my gofundme is in the post, and there is a PayPal donation button on my blog.

Please, even if you can’t help, reblog this. I appreciate it so much.

I absolutely love all of you and I thank you for taking the time to read this.

I have a month, guys. I’ve seen tumblr miracles in 24 hours, I have faith that you guys will continue to create miracles and I want to thank those of you who are reblogging and contributing to create a miracle for my dog and I. You’re all absolute angels and I love you so much.