livebloggingmydescentintomadness:

societys-unknown-perfection:

livebloggingmydescentintomadness:

societys-unknown-perfection:

livebloggingmydescentintomadness:

societys-unknown-perfection:

gillasue345:

kazifer:

cannon-fannon:

livebloggingmydescentintomadness:

Woo boy. Buckle up, kids.

Off the top of my head, whatever it was that John did to put this look on Dean’s face.

But if you want to talk canon specifics, let’s take a spin through my fuck john winchester tag. 

Okay, John was a child abuser. He was legally a child abuser for leaving his children alone the way the he did, when Dean was only 9 if not younger. He left his children alone in hotel rooms to fend for themselves for days at a time, sometimes without enough money for food.  This is child abuse. You cannot leave a 9 year old in charge of a 5 year old and expect him to take care of the boy like he was an adult.  Putting this kind of responsibility on a child is going to incur lifelong psychological damage.

I personally believe that John was physically abusive, especially to Dean, but I can’t prove that canonically beyond Sam calling John a mean drunk and the fact that violence is completely normalized between the brothers.  John was patently verbally and emotionally abusive to both Sam and Dean and I’m not even going to go find gifs of that because it’s in literally all their interactions.  Strong, brave Dean becomes passive and terrified in his father’s presence, and sweet, loving Sam becomes seething and full of rage.

Bottom line, the worst thing John ever did was putting the responsibility for Sam on Dean’s shoulders when he was too young to even take care of himself.  This is neglect, this is abuse, this is shirking all of his own duty to his children and then laying blame on Dean when he cannot live up to impossible standards.  But let’s go through some specifics.

How about when Dean was 16 and he lost their food money gambling (probably trying to get more food money), and so he ended up stealing peanut butter and bread - to survive and feed his little brother - and he got arrested?

Can we just talk about how the only real chance at happiness and a normal life that Dean actually got was at a home for juvenile delinquents? I mean can we just talk about how fucked up that is?

How about what John was out doing while he was leaving the boys alone in motel rooms?

How about when Dean was dying and John literally wouldn’t pick up the phone much less show up?

Or the other time Dean was dying and he didn’t care?

I could also throw in the fact that one of the biggest demons in hell actually made a better father than John.

This is all absolutely canon, indisputable. But what I find incredibly revealing is the episode It’s a Terrible Life.  Here, Dean was raised by Bobby and Ellen, with Jo for a sister.  Dean Smith is basically a photo negative of Dean Winchester.

He eats salads, he does the Master Cleanse, he has an espresso machine, he drives a fucking Prius.  He’s a business man with fashionable clothes and an upscale apartment.  I mean, can you say metrosexual?

This Dean doesn’t overcompensate, he’s not macho or butch, he’s not one step away from alcoholism, he’s not a broke high school dropout.  He went to Stanford, and considering that Bobby and Ellen probably would not have had the money for that, we can hypothesize that he got in on scholarship.  He doesn’t drive his dad’s old car because it’s not the only home and security he’s known since he was four.  He also doesn’t appear to be a “ladies man”, as we never actually see him talking to a woman.  The only person he seems to be flirting with appears to be his assistant, whom he talks to about Project Runway.

This Dean could easily be openly bisexual, because he grew up in a loving and safe family.  This Dean embraced his education as well as his love of fashion, this Dean is successful and stylish.  We don’t know what’s going on in his personal life or if he’s happy, but he is plainly a normal, functional, stable human being.  This is who Dean would be if John wasn’t his father.

This is who Dean would be if John wasn’t his father. This is who Dean could have been if John had not turned him into Sam’s parent while depriving Dean of a parent himself, dragging him from place to place, isolating him, while turning him into a child soldier and a tool to further his quest for vengeance - and using him as an emotional if not physical punching bag.

He didn’t “try his best”.  Trying his best would be not chasing down the demon, would be giving his sons a home and a childhood.  Would have been at fucking least putting them in foster care instead of dragging them across the country with him.  He didn’t love them.  What he did is not love, it just fucking isn’t.  Whatever ‘love’ he had, it was twisted and selfish and damaging.  John did not love his sons, not the way I define love.

I literally, honestly don’t care that John traded his life for Dean’s in the end.  I mean, to say “too little too late” is a vivid understatement.  I don’t care what he said, I seriously, seriously don’t care what he said in that hospital scene.  I’ve never been physically abused, but my father did fuck up my head and my life pretty well, and he says all kinds of nice things trying to get me back on his side, and I don’t care about any of it.  All the “I’m proud of you”s in the world can’t change what you’ve done.  And really all John did then was heap more responsibility and guilt on Dean’s shoulders.

So basically - everything.  Everything John did to his sons was the worst.

kazifer for you. Join me in my frustration for his shitty neglectful and ultimately abusive parenting. I legit tear up when I think of dean. Dean tried so hard to protect Sam from it all. And now I’ve made myself sad.

I am broken.

perfection

I just love when the people who DIDN’T write the show, know everything. Typical tumblr. Ooo, and better yet, I love when people who have never been abused by their parents (and most likely born with a silver spoon in their fucking mouth) try and say what is and isn’t abuse. This is why I’m starting to hate tumblr so much, YOU PEOPLE TRY TO ACT LIKE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT WHEN YOU KNOW NOTHING.


It’s always like this on here, white people trying to act like they are so “oppressed” from racism, or straight people acting like they understand gay discrimination. You can only know so much without experiencing the other side of things. Don’t act like you understand what abuse is, or how it feels. You don’t. And you ESPECIALLY don’t know what abuse is because of what an asshole dad on a television show does. A lot of people have bad relationships with their parents, a lot of parents are jerks, and a lot of parents give their child more responsibilities than they can handle. That doesn’t make them abusive, that just makes them dicks. Grow up, and find better things to do than over analyze a show.

Okay I’m going to ignore the snippy fucking attitude cause I got some shit to say. But I’m not going to ignore the ignorant and offensive statement that seems to be directed at me, that I was ‘born with a a silver spoon in my mouth’. That is laughably far from the truth. You don’t know shit about me or my life, and I resent the assertion that I know nothing about abuse because I haven’t been physically beaten. Me not being physically abused does not make me somehow privileged or unable to know word one about abuse. Physical abuse is not the beginning or end of abuse. If you have been physically abused, then that is horrible and I’m honestly sorry about that, but that doesn’t give you the right to act like you’ve got the market cornered on abuse. 

This post is not, ultimately, about John Winchester. I don’t give a damn about that shitstain. This post, and my blog, is about abuse, in ALL of it’s forms, and you know what, you don’t get to make light of or minimize emotional abuse. You don’t get to tell me, or anybody else, that emotional abuse isn’t abuse, that an emotionally abusive parent is “just a dick”. Parents who neglect their children, pile so many responsibilities on them it skews their personality, who are insulting, demeaning, who leave their kids without self-worth - yes, every one of those is fucking abuse. 

You don’t know how many people who have thanked me for this post, because of how John reminds them of their abuser, because seeing John’s abuse defended or excused makes them feel that their own abuse is being excused, and because too many people consider emotional abuse not “real” abuse. You don’t know how fucking damaging it is to tell people that abuse doesn’t “count” unless it’s physical. Emotional abuse can cripple a person’s mind and heart, it can convince them they are worthless and unwanted, that they deserve to be abused and that it’s their own fault, leave them severely depressed and suicidal. You don’t know how many stories I’ve heard, you don’t know how many people are helped just through validation. Do not BEGIN to tell me emotional abuse isn’t real.

You are completely correct, I don’t know you. I apologize for assuming things about you, but most people here on tumblr talk extensively about controversial things they don’t know anything about (racism, homophobia, abuse, etc). And most of those people ARE “born with a silver spoon in their mouth” and normally they haven’t experienced what they are writing about (like I said in my previous post). Also, I didn’t even look at you’re blog when I wrote that, and I still haven’t. All I did was comment on what you posted and I have every single right to do so because this is the internet. But not ONCE did I ever say emotional abuse isn’t “real abuse.” It is 100% abuse, as well as verbal abuse, sexual abuse, and physical abuse. All I was saying is you don’t make assumptions/accusations about a show and/or person when you did not write it or have any part in the making of it. You cannot just say someone is an emotionally abusive parent without being the person writing the show (or experiencing the abuse).
And just so you are aware, I HAVE been physically abused. Along with verbal and EMOTIONAL ABUSE. And you know what? Emotional abuse hurt me way more than any hit or beating I ever received as a child. I know exactly what it feels like. BUT JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE IS A JERK DOESN’T MEAN THEY SHOULD BE CONSIDERED AN ABUSER. Abuse is extremely serious, and you can’t just label that on anyone you would like just because they are a bad person. That’s all I am saying.

I appreciate and accept your apology, and I am not trying to tell you that you cannot comment on my post, but I still feel that the comment you made was unwarranted and unfair. Yes, many people complain about things they have no right to complain about when they have not lived on the other side of things, but I do not see how my post has any correlation to that problem. Your claim that I cannot identify a character as abusive if I am not the writer of said character is, I’m sorry, absolutely absurd.

I don’t mean this question mockingly, but sincerely: have you seen Supernatural? If you have, you have seen John neglect and abuse his children. Yes, some of my beliefs of his abuse are unconfirmed speculation, but I can tell you that I have done the research to prove that his actions meet legal standards of child abuse/neglect, and as someone who has yourself experienced emotional and verbal abuse (which I am also very sorry that you have been put through), I would think that you would recognize it when it shows up on your TV screen. It makes no sense to claim that I cannot identify abuse when I see it, any more than it would make sense to claim that because I’m white I can’t identify a character as being racist. (Towards a black person, I mean, as reverse racism does not exist.) I have lived in a house with emotional abuse, I do know what it looks like. 

John is a hell of a jerk, but he is far from “only” a jerk, and my post was specifically about his actions towards his children. I’m sure you have no interest in me listing all of the things that he did, but they go so far beyond being a jerk that they are not in the same realm. Some of the things have to do with the supernatural world they live in, but there ARE real people who have been made, as children, to take care of their younger siblings when they are too young to take care of themselves, who have been left alone, without enough money for food, for extended periods of time, who have been used as their parent’s emotional crutch, who have been abandoned in favor of a new family that gets treated better, and who have been constantly put down despite their desperation to earn their parent’s approval. Those are ALL serious behaviors and actions. I don’t need to be the damn creator of the damn show to know that those things are abuse and to call them out as such. Hell, I think I have a damn responsibility to call it out as abuse because there are far too many people in the fandom who make excuses for him.

Of course I’ve seen the show, and of course I’ve seen John neglect Sam & Dean. But you can’t just assume that Sam and Dean are traumatized and hate their dad for not always being there. Im just guessing, but I genuinely think that they understand why he wasn’t always around. He watched his wife die, and had to live with the fact that there were evil things out there. And that his kids aren’t going to be as safe as he would like. What would you have wanted him to do? Put them up for adoption? How do you think he could’ve lived with himself knowing that the demon that killed his kids mom is still out there (along with many others) and he would have no way of protecting them. He did his best, he was out there hunting, and trying to do all he could so that Sam and Dean would be safe.
And why are you talking to me as if I don’t understand that there are kids who are left alone to take care of their siblings? I WAS ONE OF THOSE SIBLINGS. My brother was left to take care of me, he had to feed me and do everything that Dean had to do for Sam. But that wasn’t because my dad was out trying to protect us from monsters. That was because he was out getting drunk. There’s a difference between my dad and John Winchester. John Winchester was trying to cope and trying live with what happened to his family and what he was supposed to do to protect them.
I’m not saying what some of the things he did weren’t horrible, but they were justified.

I’m sorry but no, that is fucking bullshit. Firstly, it doesn’t matter why you abuse and neglect your kids, it is not justified, period. And secondly, John was not some altruistic savior out making the world a better place out of the goodness of his heart or trying to protect his kids from the big bads. He was on a mission of vengeance. He used Dean as a soldier, he used Sam as a researcher. He left them alone for fucking weeks while he was out hunting, vulnerable to not only supernatural monsters but human monsters too. And oh yeah, left them – children in their single digits – with a gun to “protect” themselves, cause that’s safe. He never did what he did for Sam and Dean, he did everything to hunt down the demon that killed Mary – everything that she never would have wanted him to do, in fact.  

John might not have always been down at the bar, but was, canonically, a “mean drunk” of whom young Sam said, “you don’t want to see him when he’s drinking”. (7x03) And between that “coping” and “protecting”, don’t forget that John neatly managed to knock a woman up with another son, who he happened to find the time to take to baseball games while Sam and Dean got left alone in a motel on Christmas eating Spaghetti-os.  

John always said “it’s about the mission”, not “it’s about protecting my sons”. John told the cops to let Dean fucking rot in jail and left him in a boys’ home until he happened to need him again to babysit Sam, who he left with Bobby that entire time. He was perfectly damn content to leave Sam and Dean out of his so-called protection for weeks and months at a time, with literally NO regard for their safety, while he chased his revenge, while he drank and slept around, so do not FUCKING TELL ME that he was “trying his best” to “keep them safe”, because that is such fucking bullshit it makes me fucking sick.  

And what the fuck are you saying, I cannot “assume they are traumatized”? I have literally no fucking words in answer to that statement, it is so damn preposterous. You think it makes it okay, to understand WHY someone abused you? You think that if you don’t hate your abuser they AREN’T an abuser? You think that if someone has been through something traumatic they have the right to neglect their children? And what would I have wanted him to do, as though it becomes my responsibility to give him other options? Considering how many places he left them for how long he left them, they would have been a damn sight better off being adopted by somebody else, fuck yes. Or how
about, I don’t know, Bobby? Their REAL father? How exactly would they have not been better off with Bobby than stuffed in cheap motel rooms eating marshmallow fluff mac and cheese while their father was out fuck know’s where being a selfish fucking bastard? 

Somebody tell me how the fuck you can have been abused and yet you have the fucking gall to tell me that somebody’s abuse was “justified”.