learning how not to fish for compliments can really help how you interact with others. here’s some common phrases i’ve noticed:
“here’s my shitty art”
“lol i’m so ugly in this selfie”
“you’re so creative. i’m nowhere near as creative as you”
“your writing is amazing! i wish mine was that good”
what all of these have in common is that they all involve putting yourself down. when you do that, those around you feel obligated to compliment you, which can make them feel frustrated that they have to just to be polite. not only that, but by talking yourself down you feel worse about yourself. the latter two phrases also centre your problems, distracting the attention from the person you’re trying to compliment. that often makes them feel bad!
here’s how to fix those phrases:
“here’s my art”
“selfie time!”
“you’re so creative. how do you do it?”
“your writing is amazing! do you have any tips?”
by cutting out the negativity, you make it so nobody feels obligated to compliment you. you’ll usually get more compliments this way because people don’t feel uncomfortable! the latter two phrases now also centre the artist and their knowledge. not only do they make the artist feel good, they also might score you some good advice.
this strategy will also help to boost your confidence in the long run. if you stop prefacing every compliment with negativity, you’ll be able to internalise them better.
You know, the news is really sheltering gentiles from the full horror of what happened this morning when they keep using the phrase “Brit Milah.” Yes, that’s what was happening in the synagogue this morning, but do you know what it is?
It’s a baby naming.
Every bit as important as a christening or first birthday.
That is what this shooter opened fire on. A baby naming with people praying for that baby’s health and happiness and future.
Goyim, please take antisemitism seriously and work to actively critique the antisemitism within and around yoi, whether it is implicit or explicit. So many of us are in mourning after Squirrel Hill bcz we’re terrified of stuff like this happening. We need you to be in solidarity, supporting us. There’s a better world out there, and we can build it, but one of the requirements for that is rooting out antisemitism. Z”L
As a whitey i can tell you you cant “accidentally” say the N word. Ive known how bad it was since i was a kid. If you are mad and that word comes to your lips its because its a part of you. Your anger is stronger than your fear of commiting horribly racist acts, which makes you hella racist
I have literally never said the n word in my life and neither have any of my friends. you can’t say it on accident. it just doesn’t happen.
Enemies to “ugh I can’t believe I’m saving your life” to “ugh we have to work together or the world ends but it’s not like I like you or anything” to “oh we actually connect pretty well but that doesn’t mean anything” to “I would die for you but don’t read too much into it” to “I’ll kill anyone who lays a finger on you” to Lovers.
“The double agent for the patriarchy is basically just a woman who perhaps unknowingly is still putting the patriarchal narrative out into the world. Is still benefitting off, profiting off and selling a patriarchal narrative to other women. But it’s a wolf in sheep’s clothing. You know, just because you look like a woman, we trust you and we think you’re on our side, but you are selling us something that really doesn’t make us feel good. You’re selling us an ideal, a body shape, a problem with our wrinkles, a problem with ageing, a problem with gravity, a problem with any kind of body fat. You’re selling us self-consciousness. The same poison that made you clearly develop some sort of body dysmorphia or facial dysmorphia, you are now pouring back into the world. You’re like recycling hatred. I find that really dangerous and I think it’s unacceptable and I don’t care if you’re a woman. I think constructive criticism is needed for anyone to ever evolve. For our gender to evolve we need some sort of constructive criticism. As long as we do it in a somewhat careful way. (…) So many of the worst things in the world have happened motivated by greed. And I just don’t think that’s an acceptable excuse anymore. How much money do you need? Really how much money do you need? How much money do any of these huge influencers who are worth millions or billions sometimes… why are they still promoting appetite-suppressant lollipops to young girls? And it’s not a fight against obesity. They have young, already slim girls, in their adverts for Flat Tummy company, this company that are absolutely everywhere, and they’re even being advertised in some of the most mainstream magazines, women’s magazines, and they have a billboard in Times Square. The money is built on the blood and tears of young women who believe in them, who follow them, who look up to them like the big sister they never had. It’s so upsetting and it feels like such a betrayal against women.”
