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  1. Human Instincts: Fight or Flight, infant suckling, jerking during the sensation of falling, etc.
  2. Not Human Instincts: Following a woman for 7 blocks because you like the size of her body parts.



Apr 20.2015 | 371063notes -
posted by:mineapple - via & src

artemispanthar:

*Seeing those theories that separate all Garnet’s minute actions into either being directly Ruby or directly Sapphire, as though she’s essentially just a mech piloted by two people with alternating levels of control rather than a unique autonomous entity unto herself*

image



Apr 20.2015 | 8534notes -
posted by:mineapple - via & src



Apr 19.2015 | 351229notes -
posted by:mineapple - via & src
vine     what a succesful    

thecutestofthecute:

Wat are you trying to do




Apr 19.2015 | 201353notes -
posted by:mineapple - via & src
vine    

mrbiggsproductions:

enderrr:

…….Shep?

Joker: earlputnam

Critical mission failure




Apr 19.2015 | 19270notes -
posted by:mineapple - via & src

Clients from Hell.

  1. Me: “How can I help you today, ma’am?”
  2. Client: “Is e-mail internet”?
  3. Me: “I beg your pardon?”
  4. Client: “Is e-mail on the internet? I have no internet, can I still read my e-mail?”
  5. Me: “Well yes, you must be able to get online to view your e-mail.”
  6. Client: “Oh, dear. I can’t see my e-mail.”
  7. Me: “Well, let’s see. Can you open up Internet Explorer for me and tell me what you see?”
  8. Client: “Open what?”
  9. Me: “Your browser, can you open up your browser?”
  10. Client: “My…my…?”
  11. Me: “What you click on when you want to browse the internet?”
  12. Client: “I don’t use anything, I just turn my computer on, and it’s there.”
  13. Me: “Okay. Do you see the little blue ‘e’ icon on your desktop?”
  14. Client: “You mean I have to start writing letters again?”
  15. Me: “I’m…what, I’m sorry?”
  16. Client: “I don’t have any pens at my desk. I just want my e-mail again.”
  17. Me: “No, ma’am, your desktop, on your computer screen. Can you click on the little blue ‘e’ on your computer screen for me?”
  18. Client: “Oh, this is too much work. I’m too upset. Just send me my e-mail. Can’t you send me my e-mail?”
  19. Me: “We…okay, ma’am. Can you tell me what color the lights are on your router right now?”
  20. Client: “My what?”
  21. Me: “The little box with green or possibly a couple of red lights on it right now - it’s most likely near your computer?”
  22. Client: “Lights and boxes, boxes and lights, just get my e-mail for me.
  23. Me: “My test is showing that you should be able to get online right now. Can you tell me what you’re seeing on your computer screen?”
  24. Client: “It’s been the same thing for the last two hours.”
  25. Me: “An error message?”
  26. Client: “No, just stars. It’s black and moving stars.”
  27. Me: “…Do you see your mouse next to your keyboard?”
  28. Client: “Yes.”
  29. Me: “Move it for me.”
  30. Client: “Move it?”
  31. Me: “Yes. Move it.”
  32. Client: “My e-mail!”



Apr 19.2015 | 200669notes -
posted by:mineapple - via & src

pyropotter:

You are angry about something. “Clam down,” I text you. You assume I have made a typo, but in fact I am holding a small soldier clam in my hands. He died so young. War is hell




Apr 19.2015 | 480987notes -
posted by:mineapple - via & src

8anter:

the gems deliver steven from sin




Apr 19.2015 | 1535notes -
posted by:mineapple - via

MY HOUSEMATE IS STARTING DA2 AND ITS REAWAKENING MY LOVE FOR AVELINE

THERES NO SAVING ME




Apr 19.2015 | 1notes -
posted by:mineapple
DA2    
"

i was told….

"

—customers who wanna start some shit  (via karencartwright)



Apr 19.2015 | 322451notes -
posted by:mineapple - via & src

learning grammar in a foreign language

  1. me: *reads the rule*
  2. me: cool yep got this gonna ace it yep got it
  3. me: *sees the list of exceptions*
  4. me: I'm literally going to kill someone



Apr 19.2015 | 156812notes -
posted by:mineapple - via
  1. 2008-2011: the meme renaissance
  2. 2012-2013: meme shaming, memeing not condoned by the public and is considered unforgivable
  3. 2014: the second meme renaissance, memeing is once again in style , the world is at peace
  4. 2015: putin bans memes, memeing intensifies



Apr 19.2015 | 500559notes -
posted by:mineapple - via & src

the-goddamazon:

THIS IS THE TYPE OF STUFF SCIENTISTS BE THINKING ABOUT AND LAUGHING THO




Apr 19.2015 | 503840notes -
posted by:mineapple - via

helpimtrappedontheinternet:

highgayden:

“biphobia isn’t real”

yeah sorry I couldn’t hear you over the hour long rant my friends mom once delivered about how she really supported gay rights but couldn’t stand bi people while i sat in the backseat of her car nearly in tears because the parent of someone I loved was throwing hate speech at me.

yeah I can’t hear you over the minimal representation  I receive in television which is usually just a sassy assistant making a remark about her “lesbian phase” and how in one of the most progressive queer shows that’s ever received critical acclaim the words ‘bi or pan’ are never used once.

yeah I can’t hear you over my ex calling me a slut after finding out I was bi and saying all I am is an indecisive whore.

i can’t fucking hear you over mono queer people mocking me and jeering at my desire for representation, calling me ‘not queer enough’, and ‘laughing hollowly’ over my attempts to explain my struggles as a bisexual woman.

yeah im sorry i can’t hear you over my friends long rant about how she didn’t think she could keep dating her bi boyfriend because he would probably cheat on her, and her eye rolls when i told her what she was saying was offensive.

sorry i couldn’t hear you over how fucking wrong and ignorant you are.

#sorry can’t hear you over the constant interrogation of my sexual history




Apr 19.2015 | 109444notes -
posted by:mineapple - via

sophiealdred:

terrasigillata:

thehandoftima:

The new nokia

THE FUCK

the true ancestor of the 3310 has finally arrived

unless you think there has been some time travel involved, i think you mean descendant, friend.




Apr 19.2015 | 349968notes -
posted by:mineapple - via & src






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