jcatgrl:

copperbadge:

persinetteinthetower:

moriartythetease:

So what happens if two people who have promised their firstborn to separate witches have a child together? Do they both just pop up in the nursery and have a custody battle?

I need a book about a little girl whose parents had promised their firstborn to different witches and the only way that both ends of the deal were fulfilled was for them to have joint custody of the child.

I love it!

And then the witches, forced to share a cottage while raising their joint stolen child, fall in love…

#more witch-centric lesbian fairytale rom-coms#….a sentence I never thought I’d type

venomrevenge:

missbritishherself:

thesylverlining:

redeyemaniac:

By the “not all men” logic, Russian Roulette is a perfectly safe game to play. Sure, one of the chambers has a bullet in it…

but not all chambers

Best one I’ve seen. Best one.

But a lot of pistols have 8 chambers, making the odds of dying 1 in 8, and the odds of being raped in the US is 1 in 6. 

So really, playing Russian Roulette is like

Safer.

this.
is not.
okay.

draqonight:

“don’t complain, I have it worse than you”

araltuar:

Wanna know how Zevran introduces himself after Origins? “I Antivan a Crow anymore.”

actuallyjoebiden:

I convinced 6 middle aged women that professed to hate action movies to go see Mad Max: Fury Road. You know how I did it? I said “The main character is a woman and she’s not sexualized at all.” And that was it. I had a whole speech prepared and I said one sentence before they all agreed to go see it. And they LOVED it. One woman saw it twice so she could bring her teenaged daughter.

All these years, all this industry moaning about how women don’t like action movies, and all it fucking took to change their minds was “The main character is a woman and she’s not sexualized.”

queenklu:

hungry-hobbits:

dalekplz:

upgraders:

It’s weird that pirates would go from shore to shore looking for buried treasure when the real treasure was in the friendships they were making

“Thar be booty to be found matey”
“Matey, yar booty be thee most bountiful”
“Matey”

brorates sailing the brocean in their broats

Pirate1: What be a pirate’s favorite letter?
Pirate2: *sigh* Ye’d think it be R but his first love be the C
Pirate1: Matey, this pirate’s favorite letter is U
Pirate2: Matey