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*at the altar, about to get married*

  1. Me: *coughs loudly* can we skip to the "I do's"
  2. Fiancée: what are you doing?
  3. Me: babe we gotta go Mewtwo is nearby
  4. Fiancée: sHIT SERIOUSLY? I DO, HURRY UP LET'S GO.



Sep 12.2015 | 10813notes -
posted by:mineapple - via & src
  1. Doctor: Ma'am you can't be in here we're performing an important surgery
  2. Me: But doctor, Lucario is in here
  3. Doctor: Holy shit seriously



Sep 12.2015 | 41310notes -
posted by:mineapple - via & src

Bars + Pokemon Go

  1. Dude 1: Bro, look at that girl. She keeps looking over here. I think she's into you man
  2. Dude 2: [looks at girl]
  3. ...
  4. ...
  5. ...
  6. Dude 2: No dude...she wants a battle.
  7. -DJ STARTS PLAYING EPIC TRAINER BATTLE MUSIC-
  8. -CENTER OF THE CLUB TURNS INTO POKEMON ARENA-



Sep 12.2015 | 63549notes -
posted by:mineapple - via & src

doctorglasgowart:

late night shitpostin




Sep 12.2015 | 37203notes -
posted by:mineapple - via & src

chaztheweasel:

“I’m a doctor.”




Sep 12.2015 | 19382notes -
posted by:mineapple - via & src

snout:

there’s a post that’s like “its amazing how much you can get done if you just sit down and focus” with a second comment thats like “imagine being nt” and it has like thousands of notes but the op has adhd and was talking about how their meds were working really well there’s another post that’s like “how do you block gay men on okcupid” or something with a reply like “have you tried christianmingle” and it has thousands of notes but the op was a trans girl who wanted to avoid chasers there’s another post that’s like “date a quiet boy who will bring you a glass of water in the middle of the night” with a reply making fun of her “low standards” that has thousands of notes but the op was a teenage girl who was in an abusive relationship at the time that she made that post (and the reply was made by a grown man who had to apparently had to dig through months of this girl’s posts to find that one post & make fun of her for it so: yuck) point is, can we please stop making these assumptions about total strangers on this site, harassing them over innocuous posts theyve made that have been misinterpreted by literal hordes of random people and unless somebodys being outright hateful and disrespectful can we leave each other alone and mind our own business lmao




Sep 12.2015 | 130646notes -
posted by:mineapple - via & src
important    

changoose:

alternativepokemonart:

jetgreguar:

the last panel fucking kills me every time

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THIS IS, BUT IT LOOKS LIKE POKEMON AND IT’S FUNNY, SO HERE YOU GO

Just for clarification, yes, that is Pokémon.




Sep 9.2015 | 23069notes -
posted by:mineapple - via & src

zelda-pairings:

chiikapea:

THIS IS NOT A FUCKING JOKE GUYS.

IF YOU ARE A LEGAL ADULT

FUCKING V O T E.

TRUMP IS WINNING

THIS IS HONESTLY SCARY AS SHIT AT THIS MOMENT. IF HE FUCKING WINS, WHO KNOWS WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO US POCS. STOP TAKING THIS AS A FUCKING JOKE.

HONESTLY, IM AFRAID FOR MY FUTURE BECAUSE WHAT IF HE FUCKING DOES BECOME PRESIDENT??? HE WILL MAKE IT HARD FOR US.

YOU GUYS REALLY DONT UNDERSTAND HOW FUCKING IMPORTANT THIS IS. YOU

C A N N O T

LET TRUMP FUCKING BECOME PRESIDENT. YOUR LETTING SOMEONE WHO CANT EVEN FUCKING TAKE CARE OF HIS OWN BUSINESSES AND WIGS GET INTO OFFICE.

I DONT CARE IF YOU ARE NOT INTO POLITICS. VOTE FOR BERNIE SANDERS.

I DONT CARE IF YOU ARE LAZY, DO IT ANYWAYS.

I DONT FUCKING CARE IF YOU ARE WHITE, BLACK OR ANY OTHER COLOR.

PROTECT YOURSELF FROM THIS FUCKING STUPID ASS RICH MAN.

PLEASE.

You guys honestly don’t realize how important this is. That stupid ass man is in the lead with votes. You CANNOT let him win. To the people that don’t care, you will most definitely care once he’s in fucking office ruining everything more. You don’t understand how important this is to me. You don’t understand how scary this is for p.o.c .

Non Americans, spread this like wild fire! We may not be able to vote, but we can sure as hell spread any and all info we can get our hands on. If Trump wins, America is fucking screwed. POC’s are screwed. Mexico and Canada are screwed (he plans to build walls to block us off from them. America is, at least, one of Canada’s biggest trade partners. Do you know how fucked we can be if connections are cut off?) Voting and politics is no fucking joke. Treat this with maturity and responsibility. Even if you never vote again, make this coming election count!!




Sep 9.2015 | 171175notes -
posted by:mineapple - via

microwenis:

*kylee henke voice* ASSMAN




Sep 9.2015 | 467notes -
posted by:mineapple - via & src

Retail Gothic

theveryhornycaterpillar:

  • A customer pleads to be let in after closing time. They only need one item. They only ever need one Item.
  • A customer is looking for an item. You do not sell the item. You have never sold the item. You do not know what the item is.
  • An item does not scan. “It must be free” the customer jokes. You look at them, their mouth hangs open as they laugh. They have too many teeth. 
  • You ask your colleague how their day is going. They look back at you their eyes hollow and devoid of hope. You nod in understanding. No more is said.
  • A security barrier goes off. You look around but there is nobody there. There is just noise.
  • You say good morning to a customer. You hope it is still morning. You are no longer sure how time works. 
  • Colleagues  disappear as they move on to better things. You do not know where they go but sometimes you see them months later. Their eyes are bright and their smiles real. You know better than to question these things.
  • There is a man. He comes in every Wednesday. You have never seen him buy anything.
  • You see an actor from that happy show years before. They are looking at deodorant. They look sad. 
  • You go to the stockroom to find an item. You look around but there is nothing. The system says you have thirty two. The system always say you have thirty two.
  • You walk through the warehouse. All you can see in every direction is Christmas trees. It is July.
  • They ask to speak to a manager. You look around- there are no managers. you cannot remember the last time you saw a manager. What does a manager look like? 



Sep 8.2015 | 42146notes -
posted by:mineapple - via & src

lurknaw:

bejeweledaqua:

dracophile:

randomthingieshere:

pheenixwright:

invenblocker:

pheenixwright:

invenblocker:

pheenixwright:

invenblocker:

forthefuns:

follow forthefuns for more funny stuff


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Your honor! Please direct your attention towards the manga.

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As you can see there are small pieces of paper sticking out of every volume.

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But no such paper is sticking out of the Batman comic.

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The reason? The Batman book doesn’t belong to the library. The photographer put it there to take a picture.

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Once again making hasty assumptions, Wright?

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First of all, I’d like to direct the court’s attention to this particular spot, in the top right-hand corner.

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Notice how the words are blocking the top of the Batman book.

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With this in mind, how can you claim that there is “no such paper sticking out of the Batman comic”?!

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Say whaaaat?

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Well uhm

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Look at the size of the paper pieces, they’re all sticking pretty far out.

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If there was paper in the batman comic, it would be big enough to stick up over the text.

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And while gravity does exist, it probably won’t make the paper do a 90 degree turn and just lean horisontally left at the middle.


image

Still grasping for straws, Wright?

image

Hypothetically, if there were a paper there, this picture would not be able to prove its presence. I’ve taken the liberty of drawing a diagram to illustrate my point. We are faced with three possibilities. It is possible that (1) the paper was simply tucked in deeper than the others.

image

Paper is a soft material, Wright. It’s not unreasonable for it to do a (2) 90 degree turn. 

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Or perhaps, (3) a paper does not exist there at all. 

Either way, you cannot prove your client innocent without sufficient evidence.  

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Which, of course, is impossible thanks to the obtrusive words.

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I’m sorry Edgeworth.

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I concede that I can’t disprove theory 1

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But the image you submited for theory 2 is contradictory.

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Look at the tilt of the other papers. They clearly prove how much the paper would tilt.

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And theory 3 is my point! Why would the library’s book not have this piece of paper when the other library books do?

image

While you still have thory 1, there is another contradiction.

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The books are not in alphabetical order, this proves that the batman comic was placed there specifically for the picture!

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Ack.

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(Perhaps I should’ve left the artistry to the forensic artist…)

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Now hold it right there! It doesn’t matter which direction the paper is going because it’s impossible to prove it even exists!

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Those theories are all the same! We do not have enough information to prove them. There could be an infinite amount of papers in there for all we know. I simply presented them only so that the court could better understand your baseless conjecture!

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… I suppose the order of the books do seem out of the ordinary. However, therein lies not just one possibility. Clearly, those are Japanese graphic novels, also known as “manga”. And the Batman comic book is a graphic novel, too, no?

image

Seeing as it currently has only graphic novels in the shelf, it is possible that any other novels have simply not yet been restocked. Asserting whether or not this effect was deliberate is useless– there is no way of knowing if the photographer and the captioner are the same person, let alone their involvement in this picture.

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Face it Wright, you can’t prove any of these groundless accusations!

Did everyone just ignore the library sticker?

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D E AD

This is yet the best post ever




Sep 8.2015 | 595162notes -
posted by:mineapple - via & src



Sep 8.2015 | 37030notes -
posted by:mineapple - via

ojiisanholic:

facingthewaves:

“I want to speak to a manager,” the middle-aged woman said in her stern I-used-to-be-a-soccer-mom-ten-years-ago voice, looking down at me over the top of her Gucci reading glasses.

A wicked grin split across my face and the gates of Hell opened up behind me, releasing a gust of hot wind that whipped my apron around my body and forced the woman to shield her face. Demons came forth, dancing around in flames with songs of, “She wants to speak to a manager. Did you hear that? She wants to speak to a manager!” before erupting into earsplitting shrieks of laughter, none louder than my own cackling.

I took in the woman’s look of utter horror before my eyes rolled back into my head and I growled,

“I am the manager.”

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a thing for one of my favorite posts on this site




Sep 8.2015 | 1297462notes -
posted by:mineapple - via & src

@ my microwave who beeps a whole five times when it hits zero

why must you scream




Sep 4.2015 | 1notes -
posted by:mineapple
minerambles    

i refresh the tunglbr

gatorbiscuits:

i scream 




Sep 4.2015 | 34159notes -
posted by:mineapple - via






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