if you have an excoriation disorder (skin picking)

hex-qirl:

definitely look into getting hydrocolloid adhesive plasters. you can get them at CVS or Walgreens or even Walmart if you look carefully. they’re blister bandages that can be cut into little squares and put over picked pimples or any small infected wounds (such as cuticles, which I’ve got right now) and left on over night or for a few hours and they draw out infections and protect the wound from getting more germs in it. they’re really easy to use and the results are amazing, plus, they’ll keep you from picking already existing wounds, while helping them heal. if you’re using one on your hands, I recommend putting a bandaid over it just to keep it in place just because your hands move around a lot, but other wise they’re self adhesive and don’t need anything else to hold them on.

they’ve helped me a lot and I haven’t seen much about them anywhere so I hope this post helps some people!!

Sleeping Habits

A post for men about creepy men

realsocialskills:

I wrote a post a while back about how some people are very good at getting away with doing intentionally creepy things by passing themselves off as just ~awkward~.

Recently, I noticed a particular pattern that plays out. While creeps can be any gender, there’s a gendered pattern by which creepy men get other men to help them be creepy:

• A guy runs over the boundaries of women constantly
• He makes them very uncomfortable and creeped out
• But he doesn’t do that to guys, and
• He doesn’t talk to guys about it in an unambiguous way, and
• When he does it in front of guys, he finds a way to make it look deniable
• And then some women complain to a man, maybe even a man in charge who is supposed to be responsible for preventing abuse in a space
• and he has no idea what they are talking about, since he’s never the target or witness
• And he’s had a lot of pleasant interactions with that guy
• So he sympathizes with him, and thinks he must mean well but be have trouble with social skills
• And then takes no action to get him to stop or to protect women
• And so the group stays a place that is safe for predatory men, but not for the women they target

For example:

• Mary, Jill, and Susan: Bill, Bob’s been making all of us really uncomfortable. He’s been sitting way too close, making innuendo after everything we say, and making excuses to touch us.
• Bill: Wow, I’m surprised to hear that. Bob’s a nice guy, but he’s a little awkward. I’m sure he doesn’t mean anything by it. I’m not comfortable accusing him of something so serious from my position of authority.

What went wrong here?

• Bill assumed that, if Bob was actually doing something wrong, he would have noticed.
• Bill didn’t think he needed to listen to the women who were telling him about Bob’s creepy actions. He didn’t take seriously the possibility that they were right. 
• Bill assumed that women who were uncomfortable with Bob must be at fault; that they must be judging him too harshly or not understanding his awkwardness
• Bill told women that he didn’t think that several women complaining about a guy was sufficient reason to think something was wrong
• Bill assumed that innocently awkward men should not be confronted about inadvertantly creepy things they do, but rather women should shut up and let them be creepy

A rule of thumb for men:

• If several women come to you saying that a man is being creepy towards them, assume that they are seeing something you aren’t
• Listen to them about what they tell you
• If you like the guy and have no idea what they’re talking about, that means that what he is doing is *not* innocent awkwardness.
• If it was innocent awkwardness, he wouldn’t know how to hide it from other men
• Men who are actually just awkward and bad at understanding boundaries also make *other men* uncomfortable
• If a man is only making women uncomfortable but not men, that probably means he’s doing it on purpose
• Take that possibility seriously, and listen to what women tell you about men

tl;dr If you are a man, other men in your circle who are nice to you are creepy towards women. Don’t assume that if something was wrong that you would have noticed; creepy men are good at finding the lines of what other men will tolerate. Listen to women. They know better than you do whether a man is being creepy and threatening towards women; if they think something is wrong, listen and find out why. Don’t give predatory dudes who are nice to you cover to keep hurting women.

theunitofcaring:

funereal-disease:

I’m starting to take issue with the popular line “I have no problem with characters doing bad things, as long as they’re explicitly condemned in-universe.”

Is it so awful to have to make that judgment for yourself? To be shown a morally gray or even totally black situation that isn’t presented like a sermon? You are allowed to come to your own conclusions about a character. An author’s failure to condemn problematic characters doesn’t mean they condone them. It means they’re asking you to make up your own damn mind. 

Also, I feel like it’s much closer to real life to see casually bigoted characters going ignored than to have them ham-fistedly called out for it at every turn. Because sometimes people who are racist are good people in other ways. Sometimes people who are explicitly anti-racist are terrible people in other ways. Because people are whole people, and I’m sick of the idea that authors have to explicitly condemn or condone them. My job as a writer is to depict people. Not to judge them. To let the audience do that for their damn selves.

Real people aren’t fed to us on black or white platters. Why should fictional ones be? 

I feel like these conversations would benefit tremendously from less prescriptive language. Like, imagine if instead of “I have no problem with characters doing bad things as long as they’re explicitly condemned”, that person went with “when a character is a bigot and faces no consequences in universe, that ruins the story for me”. That’s something that’s true for a lot of people, and something that it’s totally reasonable to complain about. It belongs in the same category as “relentless cynicism ruins a story for me” or “that weird thing where you have three male characters and three female characters and they’re very conspicuously Paired-Off Love Interests ruins a story for me” or “economics that seem implausible ruin a story for me”. People are allowed to have their dealbreakers!

But it’s a mistake to go from “this thing isn’t pleasant for me and I avoid it” to “it’s bigoted/ignorant/wrong/evil to write that thing”. There are hella competing needs in the world of fiction. There are people who need independent characters who scorn romance and people who need healthy supportive romantic relationships and people who need unhealthy manipulative disasters of romantic relationships. There are people who need honest narratives about bigotry that faces no consequences, there are people who need stories set in a world that feels a little more just. Sometimes the same person needs conflicting things at different times!

 You cannot write a story that won’t make someone go “oh, ugh” and you shouldn’t feel obliged to try. And so we need space for peoples’ “oh ugh” to be valid and legitimate and yet not a veto. 

apfelgranate:

hagar-972:

leahazel:

theragnarokd:

mhyinblog:

isozyme:

roachpatrol:

i should make a low-effort cookbook

like you get those ‘i hate to cook! 101: easy meals for the kitchen novice!’ and it still wants you to make a three-cheese spinach casserole

mine would be like

did you know you can put chocolate chips on a spoonful of peanut butter and obtain the perfect snack

did you know if you crack some eggs into your pasta sauce and stir there’s more protein in it so you can go longer without having to make another goddamn meal

did you know you can mix a cup of cooked rice to any condensed soup instead of water and now you have dinner and breakfast

also put cheese on it

put cheese on fucking everything

and finally here’s a list of things you can microwave in a short enough time that you won’t walk out of the kitchen, go back to bed, fall asleep for four hours, and totally forget you attempted a lunch

frozen pizza is expensive but!  biscuits in a can + last dregs of jar of tomato sauce + some shredded mozzarella cheese = EIGHT MINIPIZZAS

dump all your chinese delivery into a hot pan and crack two eggs into it, stir, now it is soft and good

if you add a kraft single to mac and cheese from the box it’s magically more delicious (and if you also add hot sauce then it’s spicy)

nachos: chips + shredded cheese + salsa + rummage in fridge in case there’s other things?  and then under the broiler for a minute or two.  if it’s hot it counts as a meal!  works good on stale chips.

an incomplete list of vegetables that won’t instantly rot on you: anything frozen, cauliflower, cherry tomatoes (they get wrinkly but u can still eat them), carrots, onions…i throw away a lot of veggies that have gone soft :(

i love parchment paper.  $4 for a roll but lay it down on ur baking sheet and know you’ll never have to scrub cheese or cookie crumbs off it again.  perfect for cooking with low spoons.  nothing sticks to it!

THIS IS SO IMPORTANT

also: mug cakes

also also: if you cook rice you might as well dump some canned tomatos and canned beans in it. TADA NUTRITIONALLY COMPLETE MEALS

in the list of foods that last: apples. apples can last an entire fucking winter.

also also also: cottage cheese + bell peppers + crackers = what I ate for dinner for like a year

1. You cook the rice in a pot. No spices, no nothing, just water oil and rice. 

2. Just before it’s ready, when there’s about a pinkie fingernail’s worth of water on the top, add in a tablespoon of peanut butter. 

3. Stir. Cook the rest of the way. 

4. It’s a meal! It has carbs and protein, it’s filling, it tastes good and it looks and feels like a legitimate dish, which is great for lifting the spirits a bit. 

5. If you feel fancy, add a teaspoon of honey or a handful of crushed peanuts. 

Alt., mix the rice with lentils. Cereal (rice, wheat) + legume (lentils, beans) = complete protein. Most people’s bodies will accept that in lieu of animal products.

Since no-one explained how to cook rice: (1) put bit of oil in pot, heat up on medium flame, (2) add 1-1.5 cup rice, mix up and add a bit of salt (you may need to reduce flame), (3) while you’re doing that, boil water in an electric pot, (4) add 2 cup water for each 1 cup rice; reduce flame a few seconds before you do that and mind the steam won’t hit you, (5) cover and set a 20min timer.

Pasta: (1) boil water, lots of water (covered pot goes fast; you can also use an electric pot for a shortcut and bring to a full boil on the stove - experiment), (2) up to 100 gr pasta per 1L water will work, but the more water per pasta the better, (3) reduce flame to medium (light bubbling), add pasta, set time to 10min, (4) check and add time as necessary - you may not need to.

Egg or bean noodled cook faster than pasta - like, half the time.

Easiest pasta sauce: 20-50gr of butter, melt; 1-2tbs lemon juice, homogenize; dump in pasta (and possibly peas, boiled from frozen). Taken 5min or under and will liven up pasta that’s been sitting in the fridge.

Easiest cream sauce: 1 standard (250ml) cream carton, 1 tsp shredded cheese (keeps well in freezer) or more, 1 tbs cottage cheese, spices to taste. Heat in a small pot on a small-to-medium flame while stirring constantly (if it’s too hot to stick a finger in, it’s too hot). Takes maybe 5-10min. Will keep in fridge up to 1 week.

Rice freezes well. Pasta doesn’t. Plain pasta (and most noodles) will last for up to a month in the fridge, though, and just dump it in the pan with some ketchup/tomato paste(+oil + water) and you’re good.

…nobody said that dry onion lasts? Dry onion lasts. Fried onion freezes well and keeps forever. So does diced garlic. If you like ‘em but worried about them going bad/don’t always have the time or spoons to deal with ‘em, there you go.

Fresh bread freezes well. Keep emergency bread in your freezer, sliced. It’ll thaw in the fridge/on the counter overnight, or you can stick a slice as-is in the toaster (just turn it up 1 notch relative to your usual preference).

Potatoes in their peel are the single most nutritious food. (You can, actually, survive on mashed potatoes.) A boiled potato will stay good in the fridge for a couple days. Boil partway (should still somewhat resist a fork), turn over/toaster oven on 150C (350F) or higher while you do the rest, slice potato(s), spread like deck of cards, brush oil over (with the sort of silicone brush one uses for eggs - costs next to nothing and you’ll be glad you got it), bit of salt, stick into oven and come back 20-40min later. Will re-heat well.

All of the following are good in eggs, just (1) dump them in the pan before the eggs, (2) the more you fluff up the eggs the betters: cubed semi-boiled potatoes, sliced/cubed tomatoes, tinned garbanzo beans (<-legume), tinned/frozen corn. Tinned and frozen stuff lasts forever. A pre-boiled potato and a couple eggs will save your ass on a cold, miserable morning.

3 shortbread cookies + 2 glasses of milk = 500kcal balanced dinner. Or breakfast.

1 cup cooked pasta + couple fluffed up eggs + shredded cheese (from frozen) to taste, in a stove-top pan or in the oven for ~20min = full meal.

Black lentils, cooked, will last nicely in the fridge - and unlike other legumes, they don’t need a pre-soak and only take 20min to cook. ½ bowl + 3 tbs oil + 2 tsp lemon juice + ¼ onion = dinner so nutritious you won’t believe it.

Cottage cheese and honey. No really. You only need a couple tsp honey for 250gr cottage tub.

1tbs peanut butter (flat as you can make it) + 3 tbs soy + 2 tbs maple/honey + 1 tsp vinegar = marinade for ~500gr of whatever. Takes ~5min to mix, 20min-2hr to soak, 5-10min to fry (non-stick pan and you don’t need oil). This + pot of rice (<-make while chicken/meat soaks) = lunch for a week. (Or dinner, if dinner’s your main meal.)

A tin of mayonnaise will last for months in the fridge. Hardboiled eggs last a nice while, too. 3 hardboiled eggs, chopped + 1tbs mayo + 1/3 onion chopped = 5min of work and egg salad for a few highly nutritious meals.

Ever make yourself hot chocolate? Make it with milk instead of water, for fuck’s sake. A large cup of hot chocolate is a legit small meal.

eggs + onions are a serious lifesaver. dice onions, braise them a bit in the pan, throw in noodles/rice/potatoes, fry a bit more, then throw in a few eggs, depending on the amount you’re making. i tend to have soy sauce on hand so i always use that for seasoning, but i suspect salt, pepper, etc works just as well. this is also a good way to make use of instant noodle soups, just use the soup powder as seasoning when you’re frying everything and voila. or just put the soup onto the stove until it barely boils and crack an egg into it, stir, take off the stove after a min. EGGS, is my point

also i’ve found that soy sauce + honey/maple syrup (+ sesame oil if you have it) makes for great, easy seasoning. meat, noodles with eggs, vegetables…

canned corn also keeps forever and is a good source of protein (and a good bit of salt, if you keep the liquid)

canned fruit + yogurt (+ some kinda cereal maybe) is a quick dessert/breakfast, and if it comes pre-diced like pineapple for example, you really just have to throw it together.

not super cheap depending on where you are, but if you have an oven, zucchini are p damn easy to make. just cut them in like .5 cm slices, brush a bit of oil on them and put them in the oven for ~20min. salt lightly, done. or you can just drip some oil on them after baking, works just as well.

bell peppers that have gone a little soft/wrinkly and don’t look very appetizing anymore? dice and fry them. throw in a diced onion and an egg…… (yes, this is my tactic for 50% of everything i eat)

couscous is not super cheap to get (at least where i live), but it’s even easier to make than rice. put 1 cup into a bowl, boil water, then pour in the boiling water until the couscous is just about covered, cover with a plate or smth and wait ~15min.

ALSO. don’t just throw away old hard bread. apart from the fact that you can use it for bread dumplings, french toast, etc, restoring it is p easy as long as you have a toaster. either dunk your bread slices in water or hold them under the faucet so they’re uniformly wet, then toast them. time/heat differs of course depending on the bread/thickness/water amount but you can get it quite a few grades above barely edible like that. (and if it’s still soggy, put cheese on it and put it in the microwave. cheese is kinda like eggs in that you can throw it on a metric shitton of things)