glumshoe:

Why do they even put sex scenes in movies anymore? Like, does anyone feel anything but vaguely uncomfortable watching them? They’re not explicit enough to titillate most people in the age of instantly-available internet pornography, and just serve to make awkward silences when trying to watch movies with friends and family. It’s seldom that plot-relevant things occur or are said during them - why not just cut to black? Why do we have to suffer through several minutes of awkward moaning and close-ups of naked shoulders and necks?

smurflewis:

nobodytoldthehorse:

Apparently “spite” is not an ‘appropriate answer’ to “What motivates you?”

Ok, so the tattoo artist I have been going to for all of my tats seriously does everything in his life out of spite. He became a tattoo artist because he was told it was stupid, he got married because his friends told him not to, he bought a house with a picket fence because he was told he wasn’t the kind of guy that would do that, and he had a kid because he was told he would be a crap father. He has a nice wife, an adorable little girl, a good house, and is an award winning tattoo artist.

Live your life in spite

doyouhearthunder:

kinkshamer69:

6 years later and avatar (the james cameron movie) is still completely incomprehensible to me. like you’ve got the highest grossing film in recent history and no one actually enjoyed it beyond “eh. it was okay”

Avatar is such a weird anomaly.  It’s the highest grossing film EVER (not adjusting for inflation) by a huge margin and yet it left virtually no footprint on popular culture.  It had its 15 minutes of fame to the tune of $2.7 billion dollars worldwide, and within a few years it’s like no one remembers it even existed.  You only ever really see it mentioned these days in the context of its record-breaking box office.

wingbeifong:

i’ll gladly drag myself before i give anybody else the satisfaction of doing it

haywoodyoufreemogar:

devipotato:

breastforce:

Navy Seals Copypasta but with emojis added in

❔What❔the fuck 😡😡 did you just fucking say about me, you little 🐕bitch🐕? I’ll have you know I graduated 🎓🎓 top🔝 of my class in the 🚢Navy🚢 Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous 😯secret😯 raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over❗❗ 300 ❗❗ confirmed 💀 kills 💀. I am trained in gorilla 🐒🐒 💥warfare 💥 and I’m the 🔝top🔝 sniper in the entire US 🔫 armed 🔫 forces 👮👮👮. You are nothing to me but just 🎯 another 🎯 target 🎯. I will wipe ❌ you ❌ the ❌ fuck ❌ out with 👀 precision 🎯🎯 the likes of which has never been 👀 seen 👀 before on this 🌎Earth🌎, mark 😡 my 😡 fucking 😡 words 😡. You think you can 👀 get away 👀with saying that shit to me over the Internet 💻? Think again, fucker. 👎👎👎 As we speak I am contacting my 🌐 secret network 🌐 of spies 👀👀👀 across the USA and your IP 🌐 is being traced 🕖 right now 🕧 so you better prepare for the ☔storm ☔, maggot 🐛🐛🐛. The storm ⚡⚡⚡ that wipes out the 😂 pathetic 😂 little thing you call your life. You’re 💀 fucking 💀💀💀 dead 💀💀💀, kid. I can be anywhere 🌎🌏🌍, anytime 🕧🕕🕦, and I can 💀 kill 💀 you💀 in over 🔢 seven 🔢 hundred 🔢 ways 📃, and that’s just with my ✋✋ bare hands✋✋. Not only am I extensively trained in 👊unarmed 👊 combat 👊, but I have access to the entire arsenal 🔫🔫🔫 of the United States 👮👮👮 Marine Corps 👮👮👮 and I will use it to its full extent to 💀 wipe 💀 your 💀 miserable 💀 ass 💀 off the face of the continent 🌎🌎, you little 💩shit 💩. If only you could have known 😵😵 what 😈unholy 😈 retribution your little “clever” comment 📄📄 was about to 👎bring 👎 down 👎 upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue👅👅👅. But you couldn’t ❌, you didn’t❌, and now you’re paying the price💲💲💲, you goddamn idiot. I will 💩 shit 💩 fury 😡😡😡 all over you and you will 😱😱😱 drown 😱😱😱in it. You’re 💀 fucking 💀 dead 💀, kiddo. 💀💀💀

It’s even fucking longer now

Old People Restaurant Scam.

petty-revenge-stories:

You know the scam. Whine about perfectly good food to get some sort of comp.

In their old age, my parents befriended another older couple who would pull this stunt everywhere they went. After my mother told me a few stories about how their new friends had shown them how to get discounted or free meals, I felt like I was suddenly the responsible adult, concerned about the bad influence these people were on my parents.

While visiting my parents with my girlfriend, this other couple attended dinner with us. As I expected, the food was brought to the table and they immediately began dramatically complaining to one another about the quality/taste/temperature/etc. They were making a scene in order to attract the attention of the waitress. When our waitress returned to ask how we were doing, the miserable old bastard who played the lead role in their act took a deep breathe, struck a dramatic pose (with his hand raised to begin gesticulating for emphasis) and bega–I leaned forward and cut him off before he could finish the first word: “Everything is absolutely fantastic. It’s all great! Thank you very much!” She smiled, and began her obligatory “Great, well if you need any–” when he made a second attempt. “We come here all the time an–”. I didn’t acknowledge that he was speaking at all, repeated that all was just as we ordered and thank her again.

He was stunned and thrown off from his routine by my interruption. During this pause the waitress walked away (It seemed clear that she knew what they were trying to accomplish). He turned bright red. I turned to my girlfriend and, smiling and without lowering my voice, stated how pitiful it is that some people could be dishonest, deceitful and put at risk the livelihood of a cook, server or hostess for a pathetic discount or a free early-bird special. My passive-aggressive reverse-parenting broke my parents of the habit in short time.

Petty Revenge: Your daily dose of the best petty revenge stories. | cr