peaceheather:

skiesovergideon:

things you do at a coffee shop: buy coffee. dick around on the internet. hang with friends

things you do not do at a coffee shop: sit down next to the girl with her headphones in and start talking to her

allow me to elaborate

it’s 12:45. the office internet is spotty, and i have a very important webinar to watch about a product release. my boss gives me permission to go to the nearby coffee shop. i go to the coffee shop, order my coffee, and settle myself at a table. there aren’t many tables in this particular shop, so i have every expectation that someone will probably end up sitting with me sooner or later.

popping in my headphones, i load up my webinar. it begins.

and then HE ARRIVES. he orders coffee. i must have made eye contact (MY MISTAKE) because once his coffee is in hand (probably a latte, he looked like someone who would want 66% of his drink to be steamed milk instead of pure caffeine) he sits at my table. not across from me, even, but next to me.

i give the universally polite closed-lipped smile of acknowledgment. “hello. i see you’ve decided to sit at this table. this is me acknowledging that, and now this is me going back to my webinar.”

if things had stopped there, we would not have a story. it is a terrible story. strap yourself in.

so there’s me, sitting with my headphones on, watching my webinar. the speaker is discussing versioning in the new release. 

i hear a faint noise. i look up at the dude. he smiles. i pop a bud out of my ears. “hey,” he says. 

“uh, hi,” i say, and i turn back to my webinar. 

“what are you watching?” 

my hand pauses. “webinar for work,” i say, flashing him that tense please shut up i’m busy smile.

“what do you do?”

look, dude, i get that you’re interested in a conversation, but i am fucking working. but i’m also nice, so i say “look, this is really important, so i–”

“sure sure, but what do you do? what kind of webinars are you watching?”

THE KIND THAT REQUIRE MY FUCKING ATTENTION BECAUSE THIS IS ABOUT A NEW ROLEOUT FOR SOFTWARE THAT I USE FOR A CRITICAL OPERATION AT MY OFFICE AND WHEN IT INEVITABLY BREAKS UNDER THESE UPDATES, I NEED TO KNOW WHAT AREAS OF THE SOFTWARE ARE MOST LIKELY TO BREAK THAT’S THE FUCKING WEBINAR I’M WATCHING

“ones for work.” i put my ear bud back in my ear.

i look away. 

surely surely this will deter my new friend

i should be so fucking lucky. he starts talking about his start up. i turn up my volume. he leans into my space. i take out my ear buds to tell this guy i really can’t talk, and at the same time i frantically make eye contact with one of the baristas. 

“i think you’d like my assets,” he says.

the barista disappears 

there is no hope left in the world. all is barren and ice. dude continues to talk. i try to watch my webinar, ignoring him. i’m typing at the same time. he has to know i’m not paying attention to him.

he continues talking. i cut him off. “look, i’m very busy right now.” i wait just a second. he shows no interest in leaving. “i’m also very gay.” he scoffs. “you’re too pretty to be gay.” and the back of my head must have blown off and splattered on the windows behind me because what the fucking fuckity fuck bro

THEN SUDDENLY LIKE A BOLT OF HEAVENLY LIGHT IN THE MIDST OF A DARK AND TERRIBLE STORM THERE APPEARS THE BARISTA FOLLOWED BY SOMEONE IN A SUIT like who the fuck wears a suit at a coffee shopBUT THER E IS SUIT MAN AND HE IS MAGNIFICENT AS HE DESCENDS LIKE A DARK AVENGER ON MY TABLE

“is there a problem,” my beautiful dark avenger of holy fury asks

“of course not. she asked me to join her–” I DID NO SUCH FUCKING THING ALSO WHO THE HELL LIES LIKE THAT. i stare at him, agape, floored by the presumption. 

the avenger turns to me. “did you do this, ma’am?”

“no,” i say, aghast, horrified, still too stunned to formulate a particularly scathing put down

the avenger turns to the bro. “i have to ask you to leave, sir.”

“buy we’re just talking!” bro says

“sir. you have. to. leave.”

“i’m just trying to get to know her!”

“it’s pretty obvious that she doesn’t want to know you.”

and then the manager escorted the dude outside and stood there until he crossed the street and i (having survived my very own coffee shop au) went back to my webinar which was now on the topic of mobile push notifications

The name of this cafe needs to be immortalized for the benefit of all humankind

its Cry Noon…..

memeufacturing:

me: *adds Duolingo badge that says i am 2% fluent in a language to my LinkedIn profile*
job interviewer: excellent. that is exactly what we needed , someone who can say “the boy” and “hello” in Hungarian . youre hired

ohbrae:

Y'all gotta realize that some of us are weary because of the direct violence that comes with this presidency. Sure he can’t do x,y,z, but that’s not going to stop his supporters from harassing, murdering and discriminating against minorities. His election has given them the thumbs up to be openly prejudiced at a greater amplitude. The direct threat comes from his supporters, and that’s what’s terrifying. These people are all around us in positions of power and education. Their confidence in their bigotry has been restored and multiplied and that is extremely worrisome.

memecucker:

Also tbr for a moment but take it from someone that literally got visited by the Secret Service when i was 13 but dont fucking make assassination jokes they actually do seriously investigate those and sometimes it doesnt even matter if you “weren’t planning anything” because its still considered a crime and even if youre not charged they can do things like put you under temporary house-arrest if a major government official is visiting nearby like this is basically “making a bomb joke in an airport” territory at least

Dear Tim Burton

fromchaostocosmos:

fromchaostocosmos:

stillnotanonymous:

schemingreader:

ionaonie:

sophielostandfound:

someauthorgirl:

shirnado:

reformchassid:

Dear #TimBurton,

Up Yours. I just went with a friend to see Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children, and we’d been excited for weeks (it only just came out in Mongolia). I even rushed to finish reading it before the Mongolia release.

Mr. Burton, the protagonist in MSHfPC is #Jewish. His grandfather is a#Jew. It’s a story about Jews and the monsters who chase us. A huge part of the book is questioning whether Grandfather’s “monsters” were supernatural monsters, or the real monsters of Nazis hunting Jews, the Monsters that murdered his entire family. Did he go to the children’s home because he was a peculiar or because of the dangerous peculiarity of being a Jew in Europe in WWII?

Yet in your film, the word “Jew” was spoken exactly zero times. You wiped away the characters’ identities. And don’t you DARE claim that it was an unintentional omission, because you proved that it wasn’t. See, in the book, Grandfather Abe often calls Jake “Yakov,” the Jewish form of Jacob. Yet in the movie, you changed that into a Polish nickname. So you can’t claim this was an omission when you and your team took the time to re-write even his nickname to make it not Jewish.

So Up Yours for your white-bread characters and white-bread movies. Up Yours for making the only POC character in the entire film the bad guy. And finally, Up Yours for taking away, yet again, the chance for us to see one of our own, a Jewish Protagonist promised in the novel, on screen.

Oh man it’s like everything that could have possibly gone wrong with this beautiful story did making this movie. Ugh

This movie is horrible and sad; I’m so disappointed in everyone who was a part of Tim Burton’s ignorant vision.

and seeing this post reminded me, this is not the first time burton has stripped jewish references/characters/elements when adapting a story for film.

remember the corpse bride, the original story was a piece of 16th century jewish folklore, and there were zero elements of any sort of jewish culture or religion in the film that i can recall.

according to the co-screenwriter the change was made because “because Tim gravitates toward universal, fairy-tale qualities in his films.”

because pasty white vaguely christian characters are universal, but no one else is, even when you’re stripping their stories for material.

so casting non white actors for heroic roles doesn’t suit his ‘vision’, and respecting the religion and ethnicity of characters from the source material doesn’t suit his ‘vision’. his vision that mostly seems to be putting johnny depp in weird makeup to diminishing returns.

(i mean, even the movie of his that has stood up best over time, the nightmare before christmas isn’t even close to being completely ‘his’ the way these two movies are, it was directed by henry selick, adapted by michael mcdowel with caroline thompson writing the actual screenplay, and danny elfman did the songs. and frankly that movie was more jewish inclusive with one measly image on a tree than any of the projects where burton was more hands on)

I never knew any of that about Corpse Bride.

Yet somehow, I’m not surprised

Tim Burton’s Corpse Bride is based on S. Ansky’s The Dybbuk? Wow! Apparently a film critic spotted it when the film came out. I see from the Wikipedia summary of the Burton production that the arranged marriage is all mysterious and weird to the viewer. Yes, well. 

WHAT????????

and I want to point out the stories of Jewish men marrying corpse brides where very common across all Jewish communities where Jewish brides would be murdered before their wedding while in their bridal clothes.

It was also very common for these brides to have been raped before being butchered and left to rot.

Everything about the story of the corpse bride is so intrinsically Jewish and yet is totally stripped of that in the film by Burton.

You can not separate the Jewishness of that those stories away from them when telling a story in vein of the corpse bride because this was something done specifically to Jews all over the world at various points in history.

As a kid I liked the corpse bride because it was as close to a Jewish story I was gonna get besides prince of Egypt and fiddler on the roof, but the older I got the more upset it made me.

Because I knew what it was meant to be and what it should have been and what Burton made was garbage and antisemitic as fuck.

I really hope that in the future when people talk about Burton and his comments and his racism them remember to include everything talked about here and that they include what Burton has done to Jews too.

Jews and our pain, suffering, and history are too often forgotten or ignored when talking about oppression, racism, lack of representation, and similar issues.

Please don’t forget about us. Please include us and the problems we deal with when you talk about these kinds of things.

Woman who accused Donald Trump of raping her at 13 drops lawsuit

millesbianfalcon:

hey all, i need to get real right now, because a friend filled me in on this only this morning. it feels like no one has heard this news, and that’s probably because no one is reporting it due to election overload. trump’s victim has dropped the charges. let me make this clear: she had 2 sworn eyewitnesses to the literal rape (do u know how rare that is?) so we know the case itself had some definite identifiable merit going in, and 2 days before dropping the charges jane doe was going to break her anonymity. it’s reported that she received so many death threats in the hours between announcing that action and holding the press conference to do so that her safety became a serious concern and the press conference was cancelled. later, on the 6th, she dropped the charges altogether. it’s not going to trial. 

do i think this is a coincidence? no fucking way. do i think he’s a rapist? most definitely; i don’t need a trial to recognize the truth. but we do need to reflect on the fact that this is what rape culture looks like: a world in which a woman can’t get justice for her childhood sexual assaut, because it would mean suing the president-elect of the united states and would put her life in serious danger. the lawyers were unclear as to why she dropped the charges, but it’s my firm belief that, like many survivors of assault, the pressure of laying her story out in front of the world became overwhelming, especially with so much at stake. it’s scary enough to press charges against ur rapist if ur both average people. if he’s gonna be the president? hahahahaha fun. 

i’ve been sending good thoughts her way, and i don’t want to be the bearer of bad news like this, but i’ve seen so many people already talking about organizing around this rape case and it’s not even happening, y’all. this is almost worse than his win, tbh. i’m in so much pain for all of us, especially jane doe and those of us who needed to see him stand trial for this. 

eridenampora:

can someone start a sburb session so this planet gets wiped out or

silver lining:

thisacelovessabriel:

edgebug:

since nobody has a supermajority in either the house or the senate, and establishment republicans REALLY don’t like trump, there’s going to be 4 more years of absolute gridlock in D.C. and, god willing, nothing’s going to get done, including all the ridiculous bullshit trump’s said he’s going to do, because congress will stonewall him at every turn

Here’s some hope for you followers!