i will no longer be inviting my enemies to ‘meet me in the pit’ from now on you are all expected to meet me in the hinterlands, a far more terrifying prospect due to the fact you must first FIND me in the hinterlands, which may take years
a pretty standard arrangement for engagement rings. a raised stone is better than nothing. 3/10
a lovely, simple, elegant wedding band. a classic anybody would be pleased to get married with. useless in a fight. 0/10
huge. tacky. kinda pretty tho. but look at that raised diamond in the center. you could easily break someone’s tooth with this. 7/10
also huge and tacky. at first glance you’d think the rounded edge might not cause much damage but look at how those rows of diamonds are raised in the second view. you could really rip up someone’s face. 9/10
this one is almost elegant. no sharp edges, but it’s solidly built. you would cause more damage with the ring on than off, which is a solid basis for choosing an engagement ring. 5/10
a lovely design, i enjoy open filigree. however im not sure how said filigree would stand up to the impact of being slammed into someone’s face. 2/10
the twisting design is pretty, but im not entirely sure that socking someone in the jaw wouldnt break off those stones. it looks somewhat reinforced but do you really want to leave the Punching Power of your engagement ring up to chance? i wouldnt. two raised stones tho. 6/10, pending experimentation
HAHAHAHA holy shit. thats Five raised stones, with reinforced prongs, for maximum damage at any angle. i highly recommend this ring both for its sapphire centerpiece and its capacity for causing pain. 10/10
there’s not even a stone, its just gold which aint exactly the hardest metal in the world. just fucking stay home if you’re not going to take this seriously.
so if there’s one single trope i’m always down to fight it’s the animal bride (folklore motif 402??) which a lot of you are probably familiar with as the selkie - the fisherman either falls in love, steals her skin to trap her on land/gain power over her, or they fall in love and THEN he steals her skin to keep her from leaving, and either way she spends a lot of time gazing sadly out to sea and then she or her child finds the skin and never returns again. and that’s awful on a whole lot of levels - it’s not love, it’s control.
BUT. but the thing is. you how selkies/seal women was a pretty common variation of this? another really popular one was swans.
i just want you to think about that for a moment. swans. like…I get it, they’re pretty, graceful birds, certainly it’s easy to imagine them magically becoming pretty graceful ladies? but have you ever fought a swan. swans are awful. swans are the devil’s geese. imagine seeing a pretty magic lady and being absolutely enchanted by her, and stealing her magic feather cloak, and then you go up and say ‘hey i’m in love with you, let me make you my queen, it will be great, we’ll be so happy’ and she just looks at you for a moment and…
you know i was going to say maybe she just shouts for her sisters and suddenly you’rerealizing you’ve made a terrible terrible mistake bc you’re surrounded by big fucking birds who are all hissing. but honestly if this swan lady is as aggressively down to brawl as any other generally unhappy swan, then she’d straight up fuck you up on her own. she’d just deck you roundhouse, honestly. you don’t fuck with swans. why does this trope exist
okay but consider this: a woman walks to the park every day and feeds the swans and watches them paddle gracefully around the lake, sighing to see how beautifully they swim.
finally one day, a swan comes up to her and says ‘why don’t you come and swim with us? you always sigh so wistfully to see us on the water, and you would be most welcome to join our company, for you have always been a true friend to our kind’
and the woman says, ‘i can’t swim’
and the swan says, ‘we’ll teach you’
and the woman says, ‘literally i can’t swim, my husband stole my sealskin and should i venture into deep water i would surely drown’
and the swan says ‘your husband fucking WHAT’
the next morning the woman’s front yard looks like this.
and neither the woman nor her husband are ever heard from again, though for very different reasons.
this “bon appetit” meme has turned into some sort of bizarre telephone game where each incarnation sounds more and more different than the original. in what way does “bon appetit” sound like “osteoporosis”
i don’t know but it’s cracking me up every time i even think about it
guys guys guys
‘osteoporosis’ is a disease in which bone mass decreases
Okay, new rule: if you regularly consume the blood and flesh of a demigod in a room full of chanting elders you’re not allowed to call other religions primitive and evil
This is oddly specific and leaves some very interesting questions unanswered.
Catholicism sure does sound weird when you put it that way.
Okay, I honestly thought Stein’s recount effort would find nothing, and Trump would go on his merry way as President.
However, this week, forces are starting to roll out against the recount in a significant way, and that? That has me thinking that maybe there is something to find after all.
The mainstream media has finally settled on a story, and it’s that Stein’s a loony crackpot for wanting a recount. I’m not linking to this as a quick Google will get you lots of stories of this ilk.
Wisconsin keep increasing the cost of the re-count. It’s now at around $4M (x). That is a lot more than expected. They are refusing to do a hand-count too, which I understand, but given the concern is potential computer hacking, there is a real issue to wanting a hand-count, and the computer people say the same thing (x).
Trump’s team have launched a “defense fund” which kind of implies they think there’s going to be something to defend (x).
Still no smoking guns here, but it’s all pretty shady. What’s the big deal with a recount if there’s nothing to find? I had naively thought Stein would pay the money and a week or so later there’d be the breaking news of a few minor irregularities, but nothing to write home about.
This doesn’t sound like that narrative. Something else is rolling out here, and it’s ugly.
If you’re American, and you are interested in the recount, Stein needs more money because of the Wisconsin fee hike. So far, lots of people have done their best to cast doubt on her using this money for the recount, but the evidence I’ve linked to above says she is using it as promised – it’s also easy to Google if you want to check.
