I remember when I was 9 years old neopets taught me what cum meant. Not what an orgasm is, but what the word cum meant. I was postin on the neoboards, doing my 9 year old thing, and all of a sudden I was kicked off the forum and blocked????? I was like what the fuck I’m 9 I just want to talk about my jubjub?? (his name was JubInATub how clever is that I know). So I investigated and it said I had been soft banned for using inappropriate language, and it had the word like censored and I had to click on it to see what it said, so I do and I see the word CUM written in bold red letters, plain as the morning sun, strung up and exposed to the brisk wind like freshly laundered linens, and was understandably offended like??? Cum on guys this has to be a mistake I was just asking what was the best time to cum to the ice caves and try to sneak some free shit from that ice snake bitch, that thing was ALWAYS awake. So my bitty 9 y/o brain was like what the hell neopets, maybe they just don’t understand Internet Lingo like obviously I was using a Hip and Cool instant message shorthand to save my precious 9 y/o time (a girls got shit to do like damn). So I was like let’s lay this to rest, I’m gonna google search this shit, screen shot the definition and send it in an email to the CEO Mr. Neopet himself, lay down some knowledge on these fogies. So my sweet little innocent fingers pull up Google dot com and type in the letters C-U-M expecting validation and let me tell you friends, what I found shocked my innocent child psyche to the core. The root of who I was got ripped to shreds, obliterated by the wood chipper that is this cruel and disgusting world we live in. That day changed me, it was a crossroads of my life and I was thrust down a path that I have yet to return from.
I’ve gotten several “the ending was not gay enough. It was more of the same and meaningless for it” weird, baffling asks and messages and I just do not have the patience to sit there and hold your hands through this, guys, I’m sorry :P
So I’m going to be over here enjoying my canon relationship that is more real and confirmed than even some BL series, while y'all just read this fantastic essay from twitter.
me: this is not…an…EXTRA hair tie… this is MY hair tie. this is THE hair tie. i’ve put my heart and soul into this hair tie. this hair tie is a masterpiece. i have spent weeks getting it to be the perfect amount of stretched to twist around my hair comfortably and not leave those dents and red marks on my wrists. this is NOT an EXTRA hair tie. this is my life’s work
