the-goblin-cat:

arayewriter:

prongsno:

sirius black getting so drunk one night that he transformed into padfoot and ate everything that dogs cannot eat and he wakes up the next day and he’s like whAT THE HELL DID I dO and he’s on edge for the next couple of days crying ‘am i going to die’

 james has to remind him that he’s not really a dog but then remus is quiet for a second before going ‘but he ate it as a dog’ and they’re all like stumped for words until peter asks mcgonagall a ‘totally hypothetical’ question about eating things whilst in animagus form 

I bet all the Hogwarts teachers get an unreal amount of “totally hypothetical” questions from students.

“Hey Slughorn wtf’s a horcrux? Just for laughs”
-Voldemort

gogu:

dont 👏 eat 👏 tractors 👏 if 👏 youre 👏 not 👏 a 👏 farmer 👏

The signs in 2017

zodiacupdates:

Finds true love: Aries, Taurus, Capricorn, Leo

Strikes it rich: Libra, Sagittarius, Cancer, Scorpio

Will suffer but prevail: Aquarius, Virgo, Gemini

Already is looking forward to 2018: Pisces

rosewater1997:

Me: *asks a guy how he is for the sake of politeness*
Guy: *responds for the next 20 minutes bc he can’t shut up about himself and then doesn’t ask me back how I am*

knowledgeandlove:

Like I remember when my mom declared bankruptcy and we were going to school with a fucking slice of cheese between two pieces of bread and a Baggie of powdered milk to add water to for lunch.

I remember my mother crying at the table with bills spread out and a calculator, looking at the numbers and crying.

I remember having this jug we saved all our change in for YEARS, trying to save up for a nice vacation somewhere, and the day all of our hearts broke when we had to empty it out and roll the change up to use for gas money.

I remember being that poor. And I remember my mother taking us to McDonald’s - often.

I remember being that poor, and I remember my mother treating herself to a cup of Tim Hortons on days she just wanted to have something nice. That was my mothers “treat yourself” days. A fucking cup of god damn coffee.

So seriously? Fuck every single person who scoffs at poor people who eat fast food and grab a cup of coffee on the go.

Fuck each and every single one of you who judge the FUCK out of those people. Who the hell are you to judge?????

archedes:

before you spam the “i need healing” option, ask yourself these questions:

1) is your healer currently alive

2) has anyone been protecting your healer from genji and/or tracer

3) is it feasible for you to shut your fucking mouth and find a health pack

4) are you even in the general vicinity of your healer or are you alone, surrounded by enemies, on the other side of the map

🎉🎇🎆2⃣0⃣1⃣7⃣🎆🎇🎉

silver-monarch:

YOU HAVE BEEN VISITED BY THE HAPPY NEW YEAR EMOJI SPELL

GOOD THINGS WILL COME TO YOU THIS YEAR

When someone says hi to you and you don’t remember who they are but you have to play along

blueteamproblem:

hyrude:

why are non-offensive moves even an option in pokemon?? im here to kick ass. have fun wasting a turn with your swords dance mirror shield whatever the fuck while i beat the shit out of you. hope you can still enjoy that raised sp attack stat in poke-hell

rat-tarot:

courtiers:

rat-tarot:

just-shower-thoughts:

The dumbest lyric is “a child, a child shivers in the cold, let us bring him silver and gold.” If you’re such wise men bring him a fucking blanket.

silver and gold can buy many blankets

explain how

money can be exchanged for goods and services