Ace/Aro discourse makes me so uncomfortable because like, it’s just the same bullshit that got thrown at me as a bi woman but with a different paint job.
“How can you be sure you’re bi ace/aro if you haven’t experimented?”
“We support bi ace/aro people, buuut only if they’re a very specific type of bi ace/aro.”
“Sure, bi ace/aro people are valid, they just don’t belong in the LGBT+ community”
“But the issue is bi ace/aro people are taking up resources from real LGBT+ people!”
“It’s just a phase!”
“Look, bi ace/aro people aren’t really marginalized. Any issues they face are just misdirected homo/transphobia.”
“BiTrans Ace/Aro people are just our oppressors trying to invade our spaces!”
You aren’t that slick, fuck off into the slime pit that is biphobes, terfs, and other assholes.
I’d like to add:
“Okay but everyoneis a little bitbi ace/aro – that description literally applies to all of us!” (said especially about demi people)
“People only think and say they’re bi ace/aro if they have internalized homophobia…”
“It’s just a placeholder identity!”
“Being bi ace/aro doesn’t exist, everyone picks a side eventually!”
Also, if you’re trans or bi and aphobic and you feel uncomfortable at being compared to these kinds of people: GOOD. You should feel uncomfortable. You should feel bad.
i swear to god, men raising their voice is the most terrifying thing in the whole world. they dont understand, like its an immediate panic response, game over
I actually had no idea women found this so scary
my downstairs neighbors fight on a regular basis, and every time he starts yelling i’m a little afraid he’s going to kill her. i have no reason to think this except that he is a man and he is angry
My math teacher has a loud voice and a temper and he scares the living shit out of me almost everyday. He’s made me and other kids cry more than once and he and his teacher buddies make a joke out of terrifying students.
this was women in general? i knew my gf didn’t like it but I was unaware if this affected most women
Yes, it does
As a woman, I had no idea it effected other women like this. I was too afraid to even talk about it. I thought I was weak. Thanks for bringing attention to this.
My dad thinks it’s funny that I used to cry when he raised his voice. I freak out whenever some one does. Once my director did, and I started crying I couldn’t stop. I’m glad to see I’m not alone…
This is so important– seeing how common this is– and I also want you all to know that this is not normal. It isn’t something instinctively ingrained into women, to be afraid of men. There is no natural state of men being a threat that women constantly have to be afraid of. This is cultural. So many women and girls here have a mutual understanding of this feeling, and I think it really shows an unsettling truth about our society, particularly about how men are raised to act and how so many women have this defensive reaction gradually develop. It’s so important that these people have their voices heard, because it teaches us about problems that we just can’t deny the existence of any longer.
I’m glad I’m not the only one
My fellow men, pay attention. I didn’t realize how scary this could be until one of my exes explained it to me, and it’s heartbreaking.
Also, when we move too much during an argument, or lean forward, it’s scary, and I never knew. I was even a little insulted at first, because surely she didn’t think I would hurt her. But see, that doesn’t matter. It wasn’t a sign that she mistrusted me specifically; it’s a conditioned response. (Although if you keep doing it once you realize it scares her, she SHOULDN’T trust you.)
Not every woman has been physically harmed by a man she trusted, but every woman KNOWS a woman who has.
I used to be horrible about this, because I didn’t realize how intimidating it was. I didn’t understand why the woman I was with clammed up or tried to tell me what she thought I wanted to hear, and I only got angrier, and acted even more like an asshole. It was wrong. It was abusive. It didn’t matter if I INTENDED it that way; it was still emotionally abusive. And it was inexcusable.
I get that when passions are high, and when you’re frustrated, it’s a natural tendency to let your voice get louder, to shout and gesture and lean forward. But you can train yourself to do better. You can train yourself to keep more of an even tone, to refrain from large and fast gestures, to not lean into her personal space. I did. I’m not perfect at it yet, but goddamn it, I WILL be.
Don’t tell me it’s too hard, that you just can’t do it, or that you “shouldn’t have to.” I’m 53 years old and just now getting the hang of it, and if this old dog can learn something new, so can you.
every argument that pedophiles/maps/non-offending or anti-contact pedos wanna make on tumblr about their right to exist is…. Negligible. Void. Doesn’t matter.
“thoughts aren’t actions”
true, but you know what is an action? coming on tumblr and putting in your description that you’re a map or a pedo/hebophile. constantly blogging and reblogging about being a pedo or a map.constantly defending your right to exist as a pedo.
there are children on this site. there are minors on this site. they should never have to be exposed to pedophiles, even if that pedo has so far been anti-contact, even if that pedo isn’t directly attracted to that child. and they certainly shouldn’t have to see people defending pedos.
that’s gonna infringe on their sense of safety. that’s gonna infringe on the sense of safety of csa survivors. both of which, i value a hell of a lot more than a pedo’s right to, idk, publicly talk about their fucked up attraction
there is no public forum you should be talking about your pedophilia on. None. Ever. Make private forums, chats, see a therapist, I frankly do not care, but take it out of the public eye.
“we’re not doing anything illegal”
who the fuck cares!!!! do we really need to have this conversation? legality vs. morality? what’s legal vs. illegal is designed to protect the state, not the individual, who cares what’s illegal
morally, stfu
“we’re not doing anything wrong”
yes you are see above wtf
if your entire mantra is thoughts aren’t actions, our thoughts aren’t inherently bad, then keep them as thoughts, wtf are you doing on a public forum like tumblr?
