clownyprincess:

jhameia:

thegoddamazon:

demonsee:

holly-quinn:

justakon-el:

justplainsomething:

Everything I love about Bruce Wayne.

OK, I’m gonna have to give respect to the guy right now.

/crying

Inside the mind of Bruce Wayne

I LOVE YOU BRUCE

RIGHT THRU THE FUCKING HEART OH MY GOD I DON’T EVEN LIKE HIM

gotta pay it, this is a goodie.

carrotcatmd:

Everyone should start carrying $2 bills!

I’m STILL laughing!!

I think we need to quit saving our $2 bills and bring them out in public.

The younger generation doesn’t even know they exist! 


STORY:

On my way home from work, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. 

I have a $50 bill and a $2 bill. I figure with the $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about irritating anyone for trying to break a $50 bill. 

Me: ‘Hi, I’d like one seven-layer burrito please, to go.’ Server: ‘That’ll be $1.04. Eat in?’ 
Me: ‘No, it’s to go.’ At this point, I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny. 
Server: ‘Uh, hang on a sec, I’ll be right back.’ He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within my earshot.

The following conversation occurs between the two of them:

Server: ‘Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?’ 
Manager: ‘No. A what?’ 
Server: ‘A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me…’ 
Manager: ‘Ask for something else. There’s no such thing as a $2 bill.’ 
Server: ‘Yeah, thought so.’ 

He comes back to me and says, ‘We don’t take these.

Do you have anything else?’ 

Me: ‘Just this fifty. You don’t take $2 bills? Why? 
Server: ‘I don’t know.’ 
Me: ‘See here where it says legal tender?’ 
Server: ‘Yeah.’ 
Me: ‘So, why won’t you take it?’ 
Server: ‘Well, hang on a sec.’ 

He goes back to his manager, who has been watching me like I’m a shoplifter, and says to him, ‘He says I have to take it.’

Manager: ‘Doesn’t he have anything else?’ 
Server: ‘Yeah, a fifty. I’ll get it and you can open the safe and get change. 
Manager: ‘I’m not opening the safe with him in here.’ 
Server: ‘What should I do?’ 
Manager: ‘Tell him to come back later when he has real money.’ 
Server: ‘I can’t tell him that! You tell him.’ 
Manager: ‘Just tell him.’ 
Server: ‘No way! This is weird. I’m going in back. 

The manager approaches me and says, ‘I’m sorry, but we don’t take big bills this time of night.’

Me: ‘It’s only seven o’clock! Well then, here’s a two dollar bill.’ 
Manager: ‘We don’t take those, either.’ 
Me: ‘Why not?’ 
Manager: ‘I think you know why.’ 
Me: ‘No really, tell me why.’ 
Manager ‘Please leave before I call mall security.’ 
Me: ‘Excuse me?’ 
Manager: ‘Please leave before I call mall security.’ 
Me: ‘What on earth for?’ 
Manager: ‘Please, sir..’ 
Me: ‘Uh, go ahead, call them.’ 
Manager: ‘Would you please just leave?’ 
Me: ‘No.’ 
Manager: ‘Fine — have it your way then.’ 
Me: ‘Hey, that’s Burger King, isn’t it?’ 

At this point, he backs away from me and calls mall security on the phone around the corner. I have two people staring at me from the dining area, and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect.

A few minutes later this 45-year-oldish guy comes in. 

Guard: ‘Yeah, Mike, what’s up?’ 
Manager (whispering): ‘This guy is trying to give me some (pause) funny money.’ 
Guard: ‘No kidding! What?’ 
Manager: ‘Get this. A two dollar bill.’ 
Guard (incredulous): ‘Why would a guy fake a two dollar bill?’ 
Manager: ‘I don’t know. He’s kinda weird. He says the only other thing he has is a fifty.’ 
Guard: ‘Oh, so the fifty’s fake!’ 
Manager: ‘No, the two dollar bill is.’ 
Guard: ‘Why would he fake a two dollar bill?’ 
Manager : ‘I don’t know! Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?’ 
Guard: ‘Yeah.’


Security Guard walks over to me and……

Guard: ‘Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you’re trying to use.’ 
Me: ‘Uh, no.’ 
Guard: ‘Lemme see ‘em.’ 
Me: ‘Why?’ 
Guard: ‘Do you want me to get the cops in here?’ 

At this point I’m ready to say, ‘Sure, please!’ but I want to eat, so I say, ‘I’m just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this two dollar bill. I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I’m taking a swing at him. He takes the bill turns it over a few times in his hands, and he says, 

Guard: ‘Hey, Mike, what’s wrong with this bill?’ 
Manager: ‘It’s fake.’ 
Guard: ‘It doesn’t look fake to me.’ 
Manager: ‘But it’s a two dollar bill.’ 
Guard: ‘Yeah? ‘ 
Manager: ‘Well, there’s no such thing, is there?’ 

The security guard and I both look at him like he’s an idiot and it dawns on the guy that he has no clue and is an idiot. So, it turns out that my burrito was free, and he threw in a small drink and some of those cinnamon thingies, too.


Made me want to get a whole stack of two dollar bills just to see what happens when I try to buy stuff. 

why am i so perfect

justdonttellonme:

Recipes for smoothies that actually aid in weight loss

There are 23 total in the link below, so if the ones I’ve posted here don’t interest you, check out the others to find something you might like~

PEANUT BUTTER AND BANANA

• Half of one banana
• 1/2 cup smooth or crunchy low-fat peanut butter
• ½ cup of non-fat milk
• 6 ice cubes
• 1 tablespoon of chocolate whey protein powder
• Place all of the ingredients into the blender and blend until smooth.

WATERMELON

• 6 cups of seedless watermelon, chopped
• 1 cup of lemon sherbet, non-fat milk, or low-fat vanilla yogurt
• 12 ice cubes
• Put half the watermelon in the blender and blend until smooth, then add half of the ice and sherbet; blend until smooth. Repeat the process with the rest of the ingredients.

KIWI AND HONEYDEW

• 2 cups of honeydew, cubed
• 1 Granny Smith apple, chopped
• 1 kiwi fruit, peeled and chopped
• 2 tablespoons of sugar
• 1 tablespoon of lemon juice
• 1 cup of ice cubes
• Place the honeydew, kiwi, apple, sugar, and lemon juice into the blender and blend until it’s smooth, then add the ice cubes and blend until the mixture is slushy.

MANGO SURPRISE

• ¼ cup of cubed mangoes
• ¼ cup of ripe avocado, mashed
• ½ cup of mango juice
• ¼ cup of fat-free vanilla yogurt
• 1 tablespoon of juice
• 1 tablespoon of sugar
• 6 ice cubes
• Add all the ingredients into the blender and blend until smooth.

APPLE 

• ½ cup of skim milk or soy milk
• 6 ounces of vanilla yogurt
• 1 teaspoon of apple pie spice
• 1 medium-sized, chopped apple
• 2 tablespoons of cashew butter
• 6 ice cubes
• Place all the ingredients in the blender and then blend until smooth; best eaten with a spoon!

These all look so yummy! I think I’ll try the apple one first… or maybe the kiwi? but the mango peach looks so delicious!! oh no, can’t decide!

FULL SOURCE AND RECIPES HERE

pirukas:

I just saw this post and i wondered if there was Jack Frost version already~ :3

checkyourprivilegebecausekankri:

.::Homestuck: Unite-Synchronization::.

fuck you tumblr

DO YOU SUDDENLY HATE Us NOW HUH 

sord:

ukidoki:

militaryfit-bombshell:

Super Silky Summer Legs

Next time you are feeling down, about to binge, going on a date, or just need to pamper yourself, do this. I just did it and I can not stop rubbing my legs together. It feels like I paid for that over expensive pedicure at the salon.

Ingredients

• 1 1/4 C Sugar (Yup, plain, good-ol’ white sugar)
• 1/2 C Oil (I used olive oil, but you can use any oil, coconut oil, baby oil, canola oil)
• 3 tablespoons Citrus (Lime or lemon)
• 1-2 Razors

1. Mix everything together in a bowl.
2. Soak your legs in the tub for 5 minutes.
3. Shave your legs.
4. Rub some of this mixture all over your legs. The sugar will help rub off all dirt and dead skin. Rub, rub. Feels like a mini massage.
5. Rinse it all off, shave again. I would use one razor per leg if you have two. You will be rinsing this razor a lot. I was GROSSED out by the amount of dead skin I was “shaving” off. It was insane! Trust me, you’ll see.
6. Rub your legs again! Second coat of wax, oh yeah.
7. Rinse off! You can use a mild soap to help get some of the oil off.
8. Lotion your legs up, and feel the silkiness!

Now this isn’t just geared to ladies…. guys, if you want to get lucky, I suggest you offer to rub your ladies’ feet with this mix too. It feels awesome, and when you get lucky, you will be thanking me that her rough grandma feet aren’t cutting your legs, if ya know what I’m saying… hahaha.

I have silky arm pits too!!

Try it, I swear, You will want everyone to touch your legs.

i just did this and after about 2 or so months of not shaving this is the most incredible thing i have ever done its like my legs arent even legs they’re some sort of ancient fabric made only for powerful pharoahs

i highly suggest this even if you don’t shave use it on your feet or shave your pits or your pubes with it because you will feel like a fucking deity

HOLY SHIT I JUST USED THIS AND???? I FEEL LIKE MY LEGS ARE MADE OF ANGEL WINGS

THIS IS THE BEST THING IF YOU DON’T USE IT YOU’RE CRAZY

askjk:

GOD JOHN, IT’S JUST A BALLOON.

yeah this is the human version of buckets