when guys are like “girls over [relatively low weight] shouldn’t wear [revealing article of clothing]” a lot of the time they are trying to get women above that weight to say “OH REALLY?” and post a picture of themselves looking good in that article of clothing. It’s a creepy power play designed to prey on both women’s confidence and their insecurities and trick them into posting revealing pictures of themselves for the sexual gratification of men who they otherwise wouldn’t have given the time of day. It’s a sleazy pick-up artist tactic. It’s negging. When you see an all-too-common post that’s like “bigger girls shouldn’t wear bikinis” and the response is him getting “owned” because a woman replied with pictures of herself looking beautiful, he’s not getting owned at all, he’s getting exactly the result he was hoping for. They’re basically saying “You sure showed me by sending me, a huge sexist creep, a picture of yourself in a bikini! PLEASE don’t send me nudes, I don’t know if I could take the humiliation!”
The scary thing is that I’ve had a guy admit this to me. He said something about “fat girls always have ugly tits”. I am fat and a girl. I said “no, they don’t.” He said “prove it”. When I made it clear that a) I had nothing to prove, b) why the fuck am I gonna care about some beanpole-in-a-meme-shirt’s opinion?, and c) I wasn’t EVER gonna send him shit, he went crazy. Straight up admitted that the technique always worked blah blah, I must have been a dude pretending to be a girl blah blah, and basically had a temper tantrum till I blocked him.
So 100% guys that do this are garbage and even if they’re not, remember that you don’t have to prove anything to anyone.
“YOU DON’T HAVE TO PROVE ANYTHING TO ANYONE” ^^^^^^^
do you know why lance seems to be the fandom sweetheart for like a majority of people watching voltron? don't get me wrong, he has his great moments, but half of the time he's just plain annoying (so fucking annoying). maybe i'm just too old to like the kind of character lance is.
I’ve thought about this myself, and here’s what I found–relatability. Lance has, by all means, the most “normal” background. He’s intended to be the “everyman,” a character that’s typically easygoing and very much what you’d expect from an ordinary teen. For the pilot episode, our intro, he also feels like the main focus out of the ensemble cast. As such, he ends up being this slate that a lot of fans, teens especially, can project onto. They see themselves in his place. He has typical problems like homesickness, competitiveness, jealousy, inferiority.
This is also why a lot of fans extrapolate those issues, I think. Particularly that last one. He’s no longer just someone who’s afraid of feeling left out or second-rate, suddenly he has depression or PTSD. Again, I think this is a result of fans seeing a bit of themselves in Lance and so projecting. It’s natural, and oftentimes people can find it sort of therapeutic. But still, there is something that’s always bothered me about fans insisting Lance in particular suffers from mental illness when we have a character in canon who does–and oftentimes, that part of Shiro’s life is pushed to the wayside in favor of adding those traits to Lance.
Or, even worse, as I’ve said before, I’ve seen Lance focused k/l that covered Keith’s galra reveal. And Shiro was often shown as the most aggressively against Keith, either outright rejecting or even lashing out at him. A character who suddenly turns monstrous from his canon trauma, all so Lance could look better in comparison, and it’s…very upsetting to see. Anyway, I’m glad Shiro was the one in canon who showed Keith that unconditional love and support through his galra reveal, because so many fanworks believed the contrary. And therein lies something to consider–I’ve seen lots of fans either dismiss or demonize Shiro’s very real symptoms of mental illness, while simultaneously claiming Lance was good representation for it, and it was just…strange.
But again, I assume that’s because people are drawn to different characters. And for whatever reason, those few fans who erase Shiro’s mental illness and pass it off to Lance for the sake of “lang/st” find that “representation” from Lance to be more palatable. That is to say, someone without the very real symptoms Shiro shows. Which, you know, upsets me as someone with clinical depression and other mental health issues, but I digress. If that kind of projection helps other fans, then I guess I kind of understand.
But I just raised a whole other topic there, so let’s talk about that–“lang/st.” Yeah. Putting Lance through lots of pain and suffering is so common, fandom coined a name. See also, the usually accompanying “klang/st.” So, yeah. If fans love Lance so much, why put their golden boy through so much suffering in a whole genre of fics? I think it’s because fans simultaneously love and hate the actual “everyman” aspect. Yes, Lance is like them. But they want him to be so much more!! They want him to have those deep, angsty backstories and heartbreaking character arcs like Shiro and Keith.
And yet, suffering from trauma or having a bad childhood does not make a character inherently more intriguing or dimensional. It just doesn’t. People heard “he has a big family” and immediately went to middle child, he’s always left out, his family never loved him enough!! And then in canon the show runners told us he was the youngest of his family and spoiled, and fans were surprised. Personally, I think that’s very fitting for someone who behaves like him, but I digress. My point is, lots of fans wanted him to suffer because they either like angst or they assume it somehow builds development of character.
But of course, the latter isn’t always true. And honestly? I think there are enough tragic origin stories in Voltron already. Like, at least we have this one guy who seems like he came from a loving family and had a relatively good life. Good for him!! I’m happy for him. And there’s nothing wrong with that, you know? Branching off that, I feel like a lot of klang/st is also to make k/l feel like it has more “substance.” Fans gave k/l the self-discovery arc of Keith’s galra reveal, even though sheith had that. They made Lance the loving and supportive one in the face of Keith’s galra blood, but in canon that’s Shiro.
Similarly, I see prekerberos things where Keith and Lance were always together or pining. You know who were always side by side in prekerberos canon? Who had that kind of dynamic? Sheith. You know who Keith agonized over being separated from for that long year? Shiro, not Lance. He didn’t even remember Lance’s name. Of course, there are the edits where Lance is in Keith’s BOM trial, though those same fans will swear there was nothing romantic about those sheith scenes.
Voltron’s twitter posts a video of the sheith hug followed by the group one, and fans just complain about the lack of a k/l hug. Altean Lance aus where Lance and Keith have a k/a dynamic is also common. Lance gushes about his love for Allura in his vlog? “Bad character developement”–should have made him talk about Keith instead. It’s like, fans expected certain things from k/l in canon. And when they didn’t get that, they borrowed the dynamic from other ships, while simultaneously hating those same ships. It’s very strange to me.
I think part of what broke my heart the most though, was fans rejoicing about Shiro going missing because in their minds it meant Lance would “step up” and be that source of love and comfort in Keith’s life. And that just…I felt sick reading things like that. So yeah, Lance is the “everyman,” but a lot of fans want him to be so much more. There’s this oc quality of–give him everything he wants!! Make him an Altean prince! The Black Paladin! Bring in someone who’s going to be the love of his life!! People want Lance to “prove Keith wrong” and “be the best,” even though Black Paladin Lance significantly detracts from his canon character development.
They pass onto him qualities of other characters because they think he “deserves” it. So, I’m going to say this–it’s probably because I can’t relate to Lance at all. I relate to Keith, with all his canon fear of feelings and abandonment, his deeply rooted attachment to those he loves, his introspective nature and inclination to act on instinct, his volatile intensity of emotion, his unbridled anger at injustice, his difficulty with letting go, his upsetting childhood, his fierce loyalty, his love of quiet but oppressive fear of isolation, his desire for found family, the way he values his beliefs over his life. So yeah, I really identify with Keith. Some of my meta? Probably projecting a little. It happens. So I understand why people do the same with Lance.
But just like Keith, Lance is still ultimately his own person. And the way he is in canon? He’s a good character all on his own. He’s not Keith or Shiro or Allura, but he’s himself. He’s someone who has a way of instigating important events–bringing all the paladins together for when they find the Blue Lion, following that mermaid and uncovering a whole nefarious plot, helping Allura realize her hidden potential and the very depth of her magic. He goes from a flighty playboy to someone actually shy and sincere, who develops very real feelings for Allura. He realizes being Black Paladin doesn’t make you suddenly better, understands the importance of working as a team and really grows into his role as a Red Paladin. Someone worthy of carrying on Alfor’s legacy, someone Allura can really be proud of.
So yes, Lance has gotten lots of character development, and I think he’s a really intriguing person all on his own. No other character traits required.
The FCC is actively ignoring all emails and calls from bots; you have to either email or call them yourself for your efforts to matter!
the resistbot twitter has debunked this rumor!!
this isnt true, and resistbot is used to contact your reps not the fcc. i’ve gotten replies from my reps after using resistbot as well. do not spread false information !!
This is so fucking disgusting. It’s like taking the wool off your eyes reading some of this stuff. Like it was all clearly there, weird sexual things, the feet, scandals that we’re just explained as child stars going wild smh
› i’ve seen comics with so much yelling and then someone actually hitting him over the whole self sacrifice thing and i am just glad someone › drew something calm and reasonable › keith’s sense of self worth is crap and calm talks are best › thanks op
you are WELCOME because i saw all of those too and they…really bothered me so im happy i wasnt alone in wanting something more calm and subdued and maybe even…about keith and not just the feelings of the others
Nah, I never joke about Jello, Popsicles, and Soup Broth…
Indeed, I am!
I’m a disability advocate whose triggers are Jello, Popsicles, and Soup Broth.
I legit just lost a follower over this.
They must be really big fans of Jello and/or Popsicles and/or Soup Broth.
For those who have trouble detecting sarcasm - the last sentence about them being fans of said foods was sarcastic. But a few people have really unfollowed me over this.
The other three replies, including the original, are serious.
Jello, Popsicles, and Soup Broth are my legit triggers. I would never joke about that.
I know it sounds bizarre. But trust me, I’m serious.
(I’m also not a big fan of fluorescent lights.)
It should be noted that I haven’t received this many death threats since the Great Snape War of 2013.
This is by far my favorite reply:
All right, folks, take your seats, because class is now in session! Let’s have a little talk…
Yeah, yeah, I know it’s Saturday, but learning is fun.
I’ve had seven surgeries in my lifetime and will probably have many more in the future. And one such surgery, which happened about nine years ago, involved really fun (*sarcasm*) things like tubes that are shoved up your nose and end up in your stomach (I know, I didn’t think it was possible either until they did it), eight gallons of really disgusting fluid, pain, lots of pain, and the direct order that I had to evacuate every single bit of food that was inside me.
And that was before the surgery even began!
After the surgery, I had to stay in the hospital for about a month.
And I was on what’s called a clear-liquid diet.
What’s a clear-liquid diet?
For this particular hospital:
Water, Jello, Popsicles, and Soup Broth.
A meal that was delivered to my hospital room three times a day.
That’s all I was allowed to eat.
For those of you who enjoy doing math: I was in the hospital for a month, which is roughly 30 days. I had to eat this meal three times a day. That’s 90 bowls of soup broth, 90 containers of Jello, and 90 Popsicles. Ninety times I had to eat these things. In the span of a month. 90.
Which means that nine years later, I am actually physically unable to eat these three items without vomiting. It’s a sensory trigger.
So why didn’t I talk about this from the beginning instead of enduring four death-threats, six unfollows, and nineteen messages/comments (not including the death threats and the ones that just said ‘Popsicles, Jello, Soup Broth’ over and over again)?
Well, there’s two reasons.
A.) I don’t have to. People don’t ever have to explain why something is triggering to them. Once they say that it is, it should just be a given.
And
B.) The above comment is right. I am a disability advocate. And part of that advocacy includes advocating on behalf of people with triggers. And so, you’ve all been part of a social experiment for the past few hours - an experiment to see how people react when they see that someone has really bizarre triggers (out-of-context).
And I’m a bit sad to say that many of you have failed. Even other people with triggers and/or other advocates.
So listen because this is really important:
I know that triggers are a sensitive subject and I know that there are people out there who do joke about them.
But there are even more people out there who have triggers that seem really bizarre and even silly.
And you know what?
You cannot invalidate those triggers.
You cannot assume that someone is joking, you cannot assume that they’re mocking other people with triggers that are more commonplace or ‘sensible’, you cannot assume that they are anything less than genuine.
If someone tells you that they have a trigger, you need to believe them, no matter how bizarre it might seem.
Also, to any men reading my posts who are horrified and want to know how they can help—offer to go with your female friends and relatives to appointments. Explain to them you’ve been reading about medical neglect towards women and let them know that if they ever want emotional support, you are there for them.
No, really, you have no idea how differently doctors react when there is a man in the room. Some female doctors will give ETD the side-eye and try to find ways to ask if I am okay (which, bless them) but once they are made aware that he is there at my request for emotional support, they are perfectly happy to have him there, and don’t talk to him unless I need them to.
Male doctors? Whole other ball game. They spot him sitting there and their whole demeanor shifts, and if they do talk over me to him, he quickly sets them right and doesn’t engage in their misogynistic comments, he just stares them down and steps in if he thinks I am being gaslighted, words and phrases like “is this the usual treatment for symptoms like this?” forces the doctor to explain usually what they’d do for him, at which point I am able to ask “so why am I not being sent for XYZ testing/why am I not being prescribed pain treatment?”
But also remember, you are there to be my ally, not to tell the doctor what you think is wrong with me, but to make them pay attention to me. Direct the conversation back to me, and if it’s not working, repeat exactly what I am saying and make them listen.
It’s entirely fucked up, but your mere presence could mean the difference between misdiagnosis and proper medical treatment.
And just because I am seeing it in the tags “#this shit doesn’t happen with female doctors” oh it absolutely fucking does.
Misogyny in the medical world is fucking ingrained. It’s in the very teachings of modern medicine.
Some of my worst gynecological experiences were at the hands of other women who thought I was bullshitting my pain levels when it comes to certain procedures and illnesses.
I’ve been told to “stop making a fuss” while I have screamed on the table from a speculum insertion (by the way, HUGE warning sign there is something majorly wrong with your muscle walls, pain upon insertion is not “normal” do not accept it if they tell you agony is normal upon insertion of anything) for a “routine” exam. And to give you some idea of my pain tolerance levels, I’ve had two root canals without anesthesia (cause
anesthesia doesn’t work for me) and I breathed deeply through them. I left nail marks in the chair and had to tap out a few times for a rest, but I’ve never screamed and shot out the chair like I was being murdered.
I’ve had female doctors tisk at my medical file and tell me I want to “get myself together”, like I’m having an autoimmune collapse for funsies. I’ve had female doctors tell me I “just need to have a baby” because that will “calm me down” and also “what does your husband thing of all this?”
Which speaking of, I’ve also had female doctors turn to my husband and say “wow you sure are good to be coping well with this” like eXCUSE YOU, HE’S NOT THE ONE WHOSE BODY IS EATING ITSELF ALIVE???!! BUT OKAY, SURE, I’M THE ONE WHO NEEDS TO “BE MORE POSITIVE AND TAKE A TYLENOL”. OKAY THEN. (also as an aside: if they do ask your male friend/loved one to leave the room to ensure your safety and you aren’t being controlled, remember to ask for him to be brought back in. Sometimes they “forget” and you’re left on your own again)
And all of this? All those things I posted up there? Those apply to white women as well.
Women of color and women with disabilities, are more likely to be neglected and gaslighted than cis white able bodied women are—and we (I use the term losely when it comes to able bodied re: myself, heh) already get the short end of the stick when it comes to appropriate medical care. Be aware of your fellow women (all your sisters, not just your cisters) and if you are in a position to offer help and go to appointments and sit in on exams, know that it would be greatly appreciated.
And again, remember, it is not your place to talk over your friend, this is not about you or what you think is wrong.
This is about you using your privilege by your mere presence alone, to make sure your friend is going to get adequate medical care, whether it’s pain management or diagnosis.
Be a witness and hold those in the medical industry accountable for their neglect and actions against the vulnerable. Because by gods no one else will.
