its shruggies bitch
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// 20-500 y/o \\
// Artist \\ // Animator \\
// Any pronouns are fine \\
COMMISSIONS: OPEN
Please don't repost my work
i sell prints, bookmarks, charms and more at my store!
It’s funny how science fiction universes so often treat humans as a boring, default everyman species or even the weakest and dumbest.
I want to see a sci fi universe where we’re actually considered one of the more hideous and terrifying species.
How do we know our saliva and skin oils wouldn’t be ultra-corrosive to most other sapient races? What if we actually have the strongest vocal chords and can paralyze or kill the inhabitants of other worlds just by screaming at them? What if most sentient life in the universe turns out to be vegetable-like and lives in fear of us rare “animal” races who can move so quickly and chew shit up with our teeth?
Like that old story “they’re made of meat,” only we’re scarier.
HOLY SHIT THEY EAT CAPSAICIN FOR FUN
YOU GUYS I HEARD A HUMAN ONCE ATE AN AIRPLANE.
A HUMAN CAN KEEP FIGHTING FOR HOURS EVEN AFTER YOU SHOOT IT
humans are a proud warrior race with a pantheon of bloody gods: Ram-Bo, Schwarzenegger, etc.
REMOVING A LIMB WILL NOT FATALLY INCAPACITATE HUMANS: ALWAYS DESTROY THE HEAD.
WARNING: HUMANS CAN DETECT YOU EVEN AT NIGHT BY TRACKING VIBRATIONS THROUGH THE ATMOSPHERE
WARNING: HUMANS CAN REPRODUCE AT A RATE OF 1 PER SPACEYEAR. DESTROY INFESTATIONS IMMEDIATELY
THE HUMAN MOUTH HAS OVER THIRTY OUTCROPS OF BONE AND POWERFUL JAW MUSCLES.
HUMAN BITES CAN BE FATALLY INFECTIOUS EVEN TO OTHER HUMANS
WARNING: HUMANS CAN AND WILL USE IMPROVISED WEAPONS. SEE CLASSIFIED DATA LABELED J. CHAN.
HUMANS CAN PROJECT BIOWEAPONS FROM ALMOST EVERY ORIFICE ON THEIR BODY. DO NOT INHALE
OH GOD THE HUMANS FIGURED OUT DOOR HANDLES OH GOD OH GOD
More seriously, humans do have a number of advantages even among Terrestrial life. Our endurance, shock resistance, and ability to recover from injury is absurdly high compared to almost any other animal. We often use the phrase “healthy as a horse” to connote heartiness - but compared to a human, a horse is as fragile as spun glass. There’s mounting evidence that our primitive ancestors would hunt large prey simply by following it at a walking pace, without sleep or rest, until it died of exhaustion; it’s called pursuit predation. Basically, we’re the Terminator.
(The only other animal that can sort of keep up with us? Dogs. That’s why we use them for hunting. And even then, it’s only “sort of”.)
Now extrapolate that to a galaxy in which most sapient life did not evolve from hyper-specialised pursuit predators:
- Our strength and speed is nothing to write home about, but we don’t need to overpower or outrun you. We just need to outlast you - and by any other species’ standards, we just plain don’t get tired.
- Where a simple broken leg will cause most species to go into shock and die, we can recover from virtually any injury that’s not immediately fatal. Even traumatic dismemberment isn’t necessarily a career-ending injury for a human.
- We heal from injuries with extreme rapidity, recovering in weeks from wounds that would take others months or years to heal. The results aren’t pretty - humans have hyperactive scar tissue, among our other survival-oriented traits - but they’re highly functional.
- Speaking of scarring, look at our medical science. We developed surgery centuries before developing even the most rudimentary anesthetics or life support. In extermis, humans have been known to perform surgery on themselves - and survive. Thanks to our extreme heartiness, we regard as routine medical procedures what most other species would regard as inventive forms of murder. We even perform radical surgery on ourselves for purely cosmetic reasons.
In essence, we’d be Space Orcs.
I do hope you realize I’m going to be picking up this stuff and running with it right?
Our jaws have too many TEETH in them, so we developed a way to WELD METAL TO OUR TEETH and FORCE THE BONES IN OUR JAW to restructure over the course of years to fit them back into shape, and then we continue to wear metal in out mouths to keep them in place.
We formed cohabitative relationships with tiny mammals and insects we keep at bay from bothering us by death, often using little analouge traps.
And by god, we will eat anything.
- We use borderline toxic peppers to season our food.
- We expose ourselves to potentially lethal solar radiation in the pursuit of darkening our skin.
- We risk hearing loss for the opportunity to see our favorite musicians live.
- We have a game where two people get into an enclosed area and hit each other until time runs out/one of them pass out
- We willingly jump out of planes with only a flimsy piece of cloth to prevent us from splattering against the ground.
- Our response to natural disasters is to just rebuild our buildings in the exact same places.
- We climb mountains and risk freezing to death for bragging rights
- We invented dogs. We took our one time predators and completely domesticated them.
- On a planet full of lions, tigers and bears, we managed to advance further and faster than any other species on the planet.
Klingons and Krogan and Orcs ain’t got shit on us
We drink ethanol (in concentrations high enough to be used as an effective as microbicide or a solvent!) for the express purpose of achieving blood toxicity and disrupting normal brain function… AS A RECREATIONAL ACTIVITY!
On the same subject, we also deliberately incinerate assorted substances and then inhale the particulate-heavy smoke and vapor resulting for the same effect. EVEN IN THE FACE OF SAID SUBSTANCES BEING CARCINOGENIC, BECAUSE WE JUST DON’T GIVE A .
Humans do not have biological castes. Kill their commander and another will take its place. Soldiers left alone on a planet will start farming and manufacturing to survive. Farmers and manufacturers will take up arms and kill you if pressed. Just because two humans look different doesn’t mean they cannot do each other’s jobs.
Breeding does not kill them. A single human can mate dozens or hundreds of times in a lifetime. They often do so as recreation. Xenobiology team six believes they do not have a mating season but this is too strange to be true.
Their appendages are not designed for hitting, so they developed special training to make them very good at hitting anyhow.
The proteins making up their bodies are toxic and cause prion disease. Do not touch anything humans have touched. Do not consume earth foods. Fire does not adequately remove this contamination.
Humans perceive sixteen times the colors we do. Do not hide in bushes or vines from humans. They can distinguish your pelt from the foliage with ease.
We tried venting waste gas into the tunnels to kill the humans when they attacked. Turns out they breathe it.
Everything on their planet came from a single biological strain. They developed comprehensive genetics BEFORE they developed space travel.
They lack radio receptors and cannot be brought into compliance with right-thought simply by broadcasting to them. Even after we learned how to translate it into sound-waves one of their hatchlings drove the Great Authority mad by responding to every demand with a single question: “Why?”
Meme-weapons have no effect on them. Their psyches not harmed by being forced to experience cognitive dissonance. They employ a defensive tactic called ‘laughter’ which appears to completely nullify the thought-damage.
Moreover, they deliberately transmit the meme-weapons to other humans in order to induce this ‘laughter’ response. We thought at first their purpose was to innoculate each other against further infection, but after observing how they self-administer memes with no other incentive, we must conclude… that… they enjoy it… *shudder*
let’s get this straight
it is not romantic to persistently pursue someone after they have refused you
Steve, Bucky, Natasha, Sam and Clint are discussing conspiracy theories and end up talking about the JFK assassination. Steve is adamant that it wasn’t an inside/CIA job. Natasha’s pretty sure the KGB had nothing to do with it. Clint is microanalyzing all the details like shot trajectory, line of fire, etc. Steve sees Bucky sitting off to the side Googling everything and wants to include him in the conversation, so he says, “Hey, Buck, who do you think shot President Kennedy?”
And Bucky just looks up and very quietly says, “I think I did.”
And the whole room goes silent.
I was volunteering at a booksale when I ran across this and just…
Submitted to me by mrsrhettbutler
uh…those arms…you’re all thinking that, right…?
i feel like we’re all just kind of reblogging it in a circle and looking at each other uneasily like, waiting for someone to finally give in and yell it out in the reply chain
ROBO-DILDO.
you held out as long as you could, i’m sure.
Dildobot
Edward Dildo-arms
DOMO ARIGATO FISTO ROBOTOI SPAT OUT MY WATER ON THE LAST COMMENT FUCK
[Spongebob Voice] EVERYTHING IS CHROME IN THE FUTURE
except as punishment for a crime.
except as punishment for a crime.
except as punishment for a crime.
except as punishment for a crime.
except as punishment for a crime.
except as punishment for a crime.
except as punishment for a crime.
except as punishment for a crime.
except as punishment for a crime.
except as punishment for a crime.
except as punishment for a crime.
except as punishment for a crime.
except as punishment for a crime.
except as punishment for a crime.
except as punishment for a crime.
except as punishment for a crime.
except as punishment for a crime.
except as punishment for a crime.
except as punishment for a crime.
except as punishment for a crime.
except as punishment for a crime.
except as punishment for a crime.
except as punishment for a crime.
except as punishment for a crime.
except as punishment for a crime.
except as punishment for a crime.
except as punishment for a crime.
except as punishment for a crime.
Think about who’s in jail and why.
(via amerikkkan-stories)
and that “crime” could be anything they felt like charging you with
(via boygeorgemichaelbluth)
This was how the myth of Black criminality started, for the record. After the abolition of slavery, a lot of states made laws targeting Black people specifically, and then put them on chain gangs to get free labor from them.
Oh, and the US is still disproportionately incarcerating Black people and private prisons are making huge amounts off them.
(via bunnybotbaby)
This is one of those pieces of information I wish had like 200 million notes on tumblr.
(via kenobi-wan-obi)
meanwhile the dea teamed up with the cca
(via cxnfvsed-and-cxnflicted)
Yeah, I believe that black people are twice as likely to be arrested and convicted for committing the same crimes as a white person. Draw your own conclusions.
(via yesiamtheblack)
Reblogging this because everytime in real life I’ve said Slavery didn’t really end I’ve been dismissed as crazy.
(via locsgirl)
So I finally looked up the whole song, and I just….
THIS ISN’T ANY BETTER
It’s a wartime song. Let that sink in.
Wonder Woman vol. 2 #210
#this is THE most important moment in comics to me #this is THE defining moment of diana #not only of wonder woman #but of d i a n a #there is NO hesitation #there is no mourning #there is no fear #there is what is right #there is what needs to be done #and there is a HERO who bears the pains #for the human race so they wont have to #diana will sacrifice EVERYTHING #and she wont hesitate to do it #y’all can fucking keep batman #but i’ll stay with diana any day
WAIT, THIS DOESN’T SHOW JUST HOW AWESOME DIANA IS.
This is from ruckawriter’s run on WW (the best ever, imho). Medusa turns one of Diana’s employees into stone (Diana is a full-on ambassador as well as superhero) and then challenges Diana to a fight. Diana is skeptical, but Aphrodite pretty much says, “Listen, we’re not gonna take this shit from Medusa, you gotta fight her.” So Diana shows up pretty ready, blindfold, armor, all that. But it turns out Medusa has manipulated the event to be televised, so that after she defeats Diana, she can look into the screen and turn all the people watching into stone.
Just TAKE THIS SHIT IN FOR A HOT SECOND (all images courtesy of scans_daily)
Then the stuff above happens. YES, BITCHES, DIANA—WHO HAS RECENTLY HAD A SWORD RUN THROUGH ONE OF HER KIDNEYS— TAKES ONE OF THE SNAKES SHE CUT OFF MEDUSA’S HEAD WHILE BLINDFOLDED AND SQUIRTS THE POISON IN HER EYES SO SHE IS BLIND SO MEDUSA CAN’T FUCK WITH HER.
Why? BECAUSE SAVING AND AVENGING EVEN ONE MORTAL LIFE IS WORTH HER OWN GODDAMN VISION THAT’S WHY.
But after that badass “Never?” THIS PHOTO SET LEAVES OUT THE BEST PART. WONDER WOMAN IMMEDIATELY CHOPS OFF MEDUSA’S HEAD. NO HESITATION. NO NEGOTIATION. NO DESTROYING A WHOLE CITY JUST TO BEAT HER UP A LITTLE MORE. CHOP AND DONE.
And then?
DROP THAT MIC, DI.
DROP IT LIKE THE MAGMA-HOT SHIT THAT IT IS.
To Rucka’s credit, this wasn’t no false-ass sacrifice, either. She stays blind AND STILL SAVES EVERYONE’S ASSES.
How does she get her sight back? She does something for Athena and Athena grants her one boon. So what does our Diana do? Ask for her sight back?
NOPE. SHE ASKS FOR LIFE TO BE RETURNED TO A CHILD KILLED BY MEDUSA.And Athena was like, “Shit, Wonder Woman, you’re better than all of us, I guess you can have your sight back, too.” And Diana’s pretty much like, “Fine, that’s cool I guess, I was still getting shit done without it.”
THIS IS WHY I HAVE A LOT OF GODDAMN FEELINGS ABOUT WONDER WOMAN.
This is pretty serious stuff. Bayer might be about to overturn the EC’s decision to ban the pesticides implicated in killing off the bees! If they win this case, it could be truly disastrous for both the bees and our own future. Please share, and please see the SumOfUs link (no affiliation) to make a donation to help the campaign to save the bees.
Early in 2013, the European Food Safety Authority stated that three specific neonicotinoid insecticides (imidacloprid, clothianidin, and thiamethoxam) pose an acute risk to honeybees, and the European Commission proposed a two-year ban on them.
This is due to go into effect on Dec 1st – and the ban was introduced because of mounting scientific evidence that these insecticides, produced by Syngenta and Bayer, have been the agents responsible for Colony Collapse Disorder – a major problem threatening both the bees and the safety of our own food supply!
However in a horrifying twist, and despite huge public opposition, Syngenta and Bayer are now suing the European Commission over their “right” to continue to produce the pesticides which have been implicated in the massive die-off of millions of bees. Yes, their “right”. Because as we know, corporations’ sole agenda is to make money. They cannot let a trivial thing like nature get in their way.
These insecticides continue to be produced and used on a vast scale in the USA and in other countries and are huge moneymakers for the chemical corporations…
[x]
This threw up a few red flags when some of the links led to wiki pages but I looked up the lawsuit and it seems to be legit. Bayer is trying to lift the ban on pesticides that have been linked to the death of millions of bees in Europe. This is, unquestionably, terrible enough on its own, because bees are amazing little insects and deserve all our love, but if all the bees in the world go extinct, human life as we know it will change drastically. Produce will virtually cease to exist. That is a big freaking deal.
In addition to the donation page listed above, SumOfUs also has a petition going around that is still in need of signatures to help stop this. And it needs to be stopped. We cannot risk losing any more bees.
Bees get a pretty bad rap, but honestly? The scary, stingy things you’re afraid of? Most likely wasps. Bees, particularly honeybees and bumblebees, are just these fluffy little cuddle balls that fly around and pollinate stuff. They won’t sting you unless you’re a direct threat to them, because if they sting you, they’ll die. Don’t be scared of bees. Be scared for bees.
I’ve done as much looking around as I can because I know Tumblr is a cesspool of misinformation, and this looks as legit as it gets. Please tell people, sign the petition, and donate if you can.
And in the meantime, if you’re a gardner, please try to encourage bees to come to your garden. You can use the tips listed here. There’s also some information about different kinds of bees you might run into, in case you’d like to learn more about bees and why they’re wonderful.
Thanks for reading, guys. Please share this.
PLEASE SIGN THE PETITION AND DONATE
They need 60K more signature and time is almost up! Please sign and reblog!
bees are important as fuck
I thought this was fake, because I thought “Hey, no human is really fucking braindead enough to think we can just kill off all the bees. We are literally alive because of bees. If we just killed them off, we’d all die.”
And then I Google’d this shit.
This isn’t fake. They’re actually killing millions of bees for no fucking reason.
Like are you guys serious? Pesticides are that important to you that you’re okay with risking the entire human race’s existence for them?
God people are stupid.
Go sign this thing.
My 7 year old son was shot down by his 1st grade teacher
is this to kill a mockingbird
this is literally to kill a mockingbird right here
once again, showing us that school is only about following directions and passing, and not about learning
Story time!!! When I was in kindergarten, I had a calendar thingy that said the names of the months in cursive. I thought that looked cool, so I decided to teach it to myself. I got most of the letters right except for the ‘s’, which I literally drew triangles for. I wrote my name on my paper at school, not even one that was to be turned in and graded, it was on a picture I colored. My teacher looked over my shoulder and was like ‘you can’t write cursive yet. You’ll learn that in third grade. You’re doing it wrong anyway.’ Literally instead of taking 1 minute to teach me how to do it correctly, she told me not to do it.
Also, one time in 4th grade I said something about negative numbers and my teacher flat-out told me negative numbers don’t exist. And yelled at me for confusing the other kids. I kept my mouth shut during math after that
In first grade, my teacher didn’t believe that I could read, she thought I was just “decoding” the sounds of the letters and I didn’t actually know what the words meant. So she would send me home with these little books about helicopters or other random shit and then have me write what they were about to like prove to her that I could read or something. Even the principal was on her side. My mom was super pissed and the next year I switched schools. Fuck teachers who think that six year old girls can’t read. I’m almost completely convinced that she wouldn’t have done the same thing to a six year old boy.
I started learning to read in pre-k and was above my age in reading level (you know those kids books that say the reading level on them or whatever) , and apparently on like, the third day of kindergarten I came home crying because my teacher said it would be weird for a kindergarten girl to be reading above a certain level. I came home crying and said I don’t wanna read those books anymore because I don’t want to be weird
My 3rd grade reading teacher BANNED me from going to the library because I “wasn’t reading my books”. She would make me wait for the days in which our class would go all together. I’m a very fast reader and currently go to the library at my school almost every day.
I took Spanish one at my old school and then moved schools, forcing me to retake the class. This wasn’t so bad, but when I started using verbs we hadn’t learned yet my teacher told me that I wasn’t allowed to speak Spanish anymore during class. No Spanish in my freaking Spanish class.
In seventh grade I was told to use “simpler vocabulary” because my teacher was under the impression that the language I used in my paper would be “to difficult for the other kids to understand”. Essentially she told me to dumb down my work.
Heeeeey sorry to derail but can we please stop with the “here’s a bad experience that proves that teachers are soulless monster trying to make us special snowflakes to conform bc we’re too sparkly and good for them?” Bc there are a TON of other issues with public education, and I’m getting p tired of this one being heralded as the worst.
(heaven forbid the teacher tell you to stop being a show off and work within a group w kids why may not be on your level)
But that’s not what those teachers were doing. They weren’t saying “please work with your group”. They were saying “you aren’t allowed to know this”. I had a teacher who used to go through all my papers, telling me that someday, she’d catch me cheating. Too bad for her that I cheated by studying.
Most teachers are supportive of eager learners, but bad teachers teach that knowledge is forbidden and inquisitiveness is socially disruptive. Teachers like that make the jobs of good teachers harder because you only have to have gone a year being hounded for being ahead before you learn to give up. Reinspiring a student is extremely difficult.
I think the other part is that sometimes it can be racially motivated with some white teachers and administrators being gatekeepers to special classes or making POC students feel inferior. Lord knows my parents had to fight on me and my sibling’s behalves.
I hope the parents of this child spoke with the teacher (assuming this was a real event) about this because at face value it seems unnecessary.
Dude, nobody’s saying it’s the “worst”. Just that it exists. Also, -10 Internets for using “special snowflake” unironically.
i still remember my freshman year when one of my teachers asked me what i wanted to do be when i grew up and i almost immidately responded with “i want to be a college english professor” and she clicked her tongue at me and said it was too ‘lofty’ of a goal for someone my age and said I should think of something more ‘realistic’ to be. Thanks to her, my sophomore year I dropped it to high school level, then junior year it dropped to elementary school level.
Back when I was in the first grade I would make my twos with the little loops and my teacher told my mom that I needed to stop using “cursive numbers”, and so I had it in my mind up until about early last school year/late two years ago that making them like that was bad.
I definitely got shit like this in my early school years. In Kindergarten I made my 8s as a single loop and the teacher condescended to me for trying to write ‘like a grownup’ and told me to use two stacked circles like the rest of the kids.
Sokka and his Moose Lion.
In Star Wars, a boy can grow up to be a knight or a wizard, but if you’re a girl, you have one good role model- one good, sexy role model- but you better be born a princess or good at space hooking, cuz those are your options [x]
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