FANFIC CLICHES I AM TIRED OF “im not a p– porcelain doll im not gonna break” yeah buddy but your ass is. even if you use lots of lube a True Full Throttle Anal Pounding will wreck just about anyone. thats why they always tell you go slow. but this is fanfiction so i know youre not using lots of lube (aka, lol). youre using unscented lotion that you had in your room. and youre a virgin, and you thought you were straight till like 10 minutes ago, and youve never had anything in your butt before. you wanna know whats gonna happen if seme-chan goes harder, wise guy? youre gonna be bleedin. youre gonna be cryin. hes gonna freak out. try to stop. you didnt use lube so now hes stuck. he panics. knocks over a lamp. broken glass on the floor. he cuts his foot on the shards. now hes bleedin too. hes cryin. youre prolapsin. the ambulance is 50 miles away
a few things you probably did not know about the signs
aries:
even though they don't express it frequently, they constantly crave attention from the people they care about and feel neglected/disliked if they don't receive that attention
taurus:
they're incredibly secretive; even if it seems like they're talking a lot and opening up to you, you will never know the whole story bc they'll never let you know the whole story - only random parts of it
gemini:
very aware of what makes other people happy and of how to cheer them up - actually surprisingly good at comforting people if they care about them enough
cancer:
even if they seem quiet and reserved on the outside theyre actually completely crazy once you get to know them and it's almost scary tbh
leo:
100% ready to help you out through any crap you're going through and are likely to kill someone for you if you need it
virgo:
they have a rly dorky sense of humour and even though their jokes are usually the lame they'll always be there to pick you up when you're having a bad day
libra:
not rly nice and nurturing to EVERYONE (like zodiac posts make them seem), actually VERY selective about their friends and gives them the realest advice without ever sugarcoating anything
scorpio:
too perceptive, even if they don't point it out they can tell when something's wrong before you've even decided to tell them
sagittarius:
even though they're outgoing and usually manage to get along with different kinds of people, they have only a very small number of true friends who they are ridiculously loyal to
capricorn:
they are veeeeery picky, especially when it comes to friends and the people they trust - even if they seem very impressed with you they might be just acting polite while judging u on the inside lmao
aquarius:
they aren't unemotional, they probably do care about you a lot but just don't know how to show it
pisces:
they let themselves get dragged through the dirt all the time and even if you treat them like crap they pretend they're okay when they're not and do literally whatever they can to help you and make you happy
painting ur nails is so dangerous tho like youre either totally in the game and you know what youre doin and it goes great or youre not feeling it and you scrape that shit off 3 mins in
i just learned this and have to share it with the world. the captain of a ship can officiate marriages, but the 1st mate can also officiate marriges if the captain is the one getting married. and the 2nd mate can also officiate marriages if the captain and the 1st mate are marrying each OTHER
Like all those dudes who have to stand on their tippy toes to kiss their girl. All the short boys who get picked up and spun around by their boyfriends. All the short boys who have friends that tower over them. Short boys with small feet and short legs. Dudes with flat chests and narrow shoulders. Skinny short boys. Chubby short boys. Muscular short boys. Short trans men Boys who have to stretch to reach EVERYTHING. Short boys who spend hours trying to find clothes that fit them properly with their unique sizings. Tall boys are considered so sexy and masculine, let’s take a second to love on our short dudes.
aries:
can be very soft, emotional. sometimes doubt themselves. feel unwanted, unloved. they are without a doubt strong people but sometimes they just need someone to make them feel alright again. cry over people who hurt them in the past sometimes. never really forget what others did to them.
taurus:
overprotective and jealous because they doubt themselves as a partner. sometimes they feel not good enough. can get angry over little things. when in rage they may say things they don't really mean and regret later. focused on their goals so much that they are about to give them up after a little failure.
gemini:
can be mean and bitter when hurt. wouldn't admit they're hurt. ignore people because they don't know how to express themselves sometimes. overthink things and panic. it takes them a lot of time to regain their strength. they look for a home in other people. they often feel misunderstood.
cancer:
they can be hard as a rock. they give second chances but they know exactly that giving a third chance is foolish. they won't hurt those who hurt them but they will make sure the people who did them wrong know what they did. is normally a dreamy romantic but they have an iron skin to hide in when it all gets too much.
leo:
sometimes they feel powerless, as if something was sucking their energy out of them. challenges that seem impossible can bring them to their knees. sometimes their "roar" is a soft, whispering voice. their pride can make them roar incredibly loud though. if they feel like you make fun of them you'll get to see their teeth and this is not how you want to experience them.
virgo:
sometimes they are mean on purpose, hurt on purpose. they may try to control others emotionally. they do this to be let alone or to make someone stay. sometimes they feel lonely and down. they also create little worlds where they hide then. they can have problems with saying or even knowing what they want and it confuses them and makes them feel uncomfortable.
libra:
they doubt themselves a lot. they sometimes feel like the failed first try of a painting. sometimes they are not as kind as normally, sometimes they explode. they never forget what they deserve and they will do anything to get what they want. they use their elbows to get people out of their way if it's needed.
scorpio:
they sometimes feel things they don't understand and it makes them feel depressed. sometimes they feel like no one on this planet is made to understand them. sometimes they regret things so much that they hate themselves for making those mistakes. it takes them a ot of strength to seem as strong as they are.
saggittarius:
the longer they look for them, the more "flaws" they'll find in themselves. they are bright people who live in so many colours but sometimes all they see is black and white, maybe grey. sometimes deep thoughts keep them awake and although they usually have many friends they don't know who to talk to. then they feel like the whole word has given up on them. they are known as funny, charming people but sometimes they feel like they're carrying the weight of everyone's happiness, like they're responsible for it, and that can be too much for them from time to time.
capricorn:
they can be furious. sometimes, when it all gets too much, they yell and kick things and start treating the people around them badly just for standing where they stand, just for being there. they like to know more than they should. they rarely speak about how they feel. they tend to hide their true feelings from everyone around them and when they finally talk about things that bother them no one knows how to comfort them. they don't say what they want but expect others to feel what they want and when no one understands them they get angry.
aquarius:
there can be a lot of secrets behind the pretty face of an aquarius. the best kept can be their sadness. although they are bright personalities who love to laugh and make jokes, aquarius often have experienced things that still bother them even after a long time. they won't always speak about it, they may try to cover it, but some day they will tell everyone what bothers them. it's actually hard for them to let go of their past.
pisces:
they can be the most revengeful people. sometimes they know nothing, neither friends nor family. if they want to make someone pay for something they will do so, they will get their revenge. although they love a lot and love intensely, they also know hate. they try to avoid this feeling but they know it too well. actually pisces are haunted by a lot of things, mostly their own mistakes. they sometimes can't find peace. they fight for justice but sometimes they go too far. too far with many things. they tend to be self-destructive.
Apparently people are trying to regulate access to queer spaces based on oppression again. The conversation became specifically about aromantic aces, which I am not, so I didn’t reblog it, but I’m going to make a separate post.
First of all, I absolutely know aces who cannot come out to their family because of fear of getting disowned. I don’t know their romantic orientations; I don’t think it’s relevant. They are worried about being cut off because they are ace. They cannot talk about being ace safely around their families. You wanna play Oppression Olympics, go talk to them.
Second, as writingfromfactorx said, this is the reason I was (and largely still am) terrified of off-line queer spaces. I spent three years working up the courage to go to my campus’ Pride group, and in the end I only did it because they had a special meeting for Ace Awareness Week. They turned out to be lovely people, who have thanked me for my ace perspective even when I’ve had to correct them about a couple of things. They want to be inclusive of aces, and I am really, really thankful for that. But going to queer spaces always feels like a gamble to me. I just happened to get lucky this one time. It’s not a chance I’m likely to take over and over again.
Also, despite the fact that my romantic orientation is “people who are nice to me,” that I’m non-binary and so is my sweetheart, that no one on the street who sees us kiss is going to think we’re straight, I DON’T WANT TO BE PART OF A QUEER ORGANIZATION THAT REFUSES TO RECOGNIZE MY ASEXUALITY. If all you wanna focus on is who I’m dating as an indicator of whether or not I should be allowed in your space, fuck you. I’m ace, first and foremost. All the rest is secondary. So if I’m allowed in your special little club but you want to keep my aromantic friends out, no thanks. I stand with the aces. I stand with the aces who have been hurt and belittled and mocked and degraded for who they are. I stand with the aces who have been lucky enough to avoid that. I stand with the aces who felt or feel broken or wrong. I stand with the aces who didn’t, who learned about asexuality soon enough to miss that period of confusion. I don’t want to turn this into “us vs. them,” but if someone else is, I know what side I’m on.
And it’s asshole gatekeepers who kept me from realizing how queer I am. They told me “aces aren’t queer,” and that kept me from realizing that hey, I like girls (and people of all genders.) Hey, I’m not cis. And when I did figure these things out, I had no one to talk to about them, because queer spaces had made it plenty damn clear that they didn’t want me. So I had to deal with it all on my own, when queer resources would have been really helpful for me. So congrats. In your quest to keep out the “appropriators,” you’re hurting actual queer people whom you claim to help. Think about that for a minute.
I feel like almost all of the guys who’ve had an unreciprocated thing for me developed it because I listened to them and was emotionally supportive, etc., but they themselves never thought to do the same for me. Which ended up with this weird situation where I knew them super well but they literally had zero idea about who I was as a person other than “listens really well and is emotionally supportive.”
Like, they didn’t know the first thing about what was important to me, my beliefs, my family, my work, how I spent my time when I wasn’t with them. Because not a single one of them wanted to know. They would just… never ask, or they’d ask politely and when I started to answer they’d show extreme disinterest and change the subject back to themselves.
But they still thought they loved me, because to them that’s all love is - being emotionally supported by someone. It did not even occur to them that the support could ever go both ways, and they were always bewildered about why I never loved them “back” - even though all they gave me to love was a person so self-obsessed that he couldn’t see me at all.
Emotional labour is so, so important to be aware of in relationships. It has to have some kind of balance, or the person performing it will just burn out. And a relationship consisting only of one person demanding and demanding and never giving back is not love. Love is not a demand. It can accept, and it can ask, but love listens, love cares about how its requests affect the beloved. Love wants to give back.
I honestly cannot wait for the days when me and the person I’m with go grocery shopping. We can get all our favorite snacks for the house, try new foods and different things for dinner. And just I don’t know, I love thinking about that and I can’t wait for it
“I wish I knew every single language in the world so I could experience everything. One language and one culture are not enough for the complexity of my mind.”—Lynette Simeone (via wordsnquotes)
Nor should fandom be your safe space. Fandom is for people to explore all sorts of possibilities in fiction and art. Not all of those possibilities are going to be fluffy, “wholesome,” “healthy,” “uplifting,” or whatever other adjective the Morality Brigade here on Tumblr wants to trot out.
Fiction is not reality. Depiction is not endorsement. No, it may never be “just a movie/fic/artwork,” but that does not make it reality. Fiction serves particular purposes, and one of them is to permit us to vicariously experience certain dangerous or otherwise unpleasant things safely.
If you believe that the purpose of fiction is to “uplift” us and fiction that does not is wrong and bad, congratulations: You’re a right-winger. (Or maybe you’re on the extreme left. When you get that far out to the ends of the spectrum, it doesn’t matter.)
If you think that anyone who writes or reads noncon is a rapist or rape apologist, you are too stupid for words. If you think that anyone who ships an incest ship or an adult/teen ship is an apologist for incest or pedophilia, you are too stupid for words.
It is none of your business what other people write, draw, and ship. Let me repeat that: It is none of your business what other people write, draw, and ship. You do not get to tell them they’re “trash,” you do not get to concern-troll them with passive-aggressive nonsense like “love yourself more uwu,” and you absolutely do not get to harass them off Tumblr or elsewhere.
Also, their past trauma or lack thereof is none of your business, either. Nobody has to present their “cred” as a rape or incest survivor before they’re allowed to enjoy fanworks that don’t meet with your approval. Total strangers don’t owe you their backstories. For that matter, not even your friends owe you every detail of their backstories. Mind your own business.
Don’t want to see all this “problematic” content on your dash or elsewhere? Unfollow people. Learn how to use TumblrSavior, XKit, AO3Savior, and similar tools. Control your own online experience. It is not the responsibility of others on this site to take care of you, who are a total stranger to them. Given how heavily female Tumblr skews, such demands are nothing but reinforcement of the expectation that women are supposed to take care of everyone else but themselves. (Yes, women are still oppressed as a class, even before you factor in intersectionalities.)
It’s amusing how some of you have the “courage” to dogpile, harass, and stalk others on this website whose taste doesn’t meet your oh-so-pure standards. People who create fanworks are soft, easy targets to kinkshame, aren’t they? Especially when, again, most of them are not cis straight men. Women have been policed and shamed throughout history for exploring their own sexuality — including by other feminists. The 1980s were full of feminists policing other feminists:
Often conflated with radical feminism, antiporn feminism grew out of radical feminism in the late ‘70s and early ‘80s—as did its counterpart, pro-sex feminism. The feminist porn wars of the ‘80s are largely forgotten to the general public by now, but at the time they were heated, divisive, and intensely personal. In 1982, Barnard College’s Center for Research on Women held a conference called “Towards a Politics of Sexuality,” which was picketed by antiporn feminists for including explorations of s&m and overall pro-sex viewpoints along with discussions of race and sexuality as well as sexual history (many of which were published in the 1983 anthology Powers of Desire: The Politics of Sexuality).
Yes, sex-positive feminism was eventually co-opted by patriarchal forces, but it started out because a great many feminists were heartily tired of radfems telling them they were “traitors” and “brainwashed” for liking anything but the blandest, most euphemistic, and most painfully egalitarian erotica. (If you like that sort of thing, more power to you. Your tastes don’t make you better than the rest of us.)
Getting back to the here and now, I don’t see you going over to 4chan or Reddit with these morality campaigns. More importantly, I don’t see you organizing to go after big media corporations, especially those whose TV shows, movies, and books help form the toxic backdrop of misogyny, racism, rape culture, homophobia, transphobia, and similar bigotries behind everyday modern life. The occasional blogpost calling out this animator or that author, no matter how many notes it gets, is not the same thing as an organized campaign.
No, harassing David Gaider off Tumblr doesn’t count, not when Bioware makes more of an effort with social justice in its games than any other game company does. You can scream all you want about how “allies suck.” You need them in the real world, beyond the hothouse environment of Tumblr. If people in general could be trusted to do the right thing for the right reasons all the time, without pressure, there would be no need for any kind of activism at all.
Nor does screaming “pedophile” at John Green and insinuating that any grown man who reaches out to teenage girls is “creepy.” Yes, his “cool dad” act is annoying, and his books leave a lot to be desired. Have you considered that such outreach is part of his job as a YA writer? Have you also considered that stigmatizing men for trying to be mentors to adolescents, when you have no evidence that they’re actually perverts, reinforces traditional gender roles?
Tl;dr: Fandom is not your safe space. Tumblr is not your safe space. AO3 sure as fuck isn’t your safe space. People will post things you don’t like in all three spaces, which they have every right to do. Get over it, grow the fuck up, take responsibility for your own mental health, and stop confusing your oversized sense of entitlement with “social justice.”
