Me:
So, let's say that you're at school and you see a guy you know. I mean, you guys talk every once in a while and he's pretty cool, but you're not like friends or anything. You just talk to him every once in a while.
Guy Friend:
What's his name?
Me:
I don't know. Frank?
Guy Friend:
No.
Me:
Okay, fine. His name is Will. Okay?
Guy Friend:
I don't think it really suits him, but okay.
Me:
...So anyway, you're at school during lunchtime and you see Will. So, you notice Will's not eating anything. That's when you realize that Will has no lunch, no money for lunch, and no way of getting either. He's just sitting there like he normally would. He's not acting any differently and he's not asking anyone for anything. Not money, not a fry, not even a salt packet, but you know he's gotta be hungry. So, what do you do?
Guy Friend:
Do I have any money?
Me:
Yeah. You have enough for you and another meal.
Guy Friend:
Duh, I buy him lunch.
Me:
Okay, cool. So, like you said, you buy him lunch. You buy your lunch and you buy his lunch and you go over and hand it to him. And, he says, "Wow. You know, that's really nice of you, but I wasn't gonna ask anyone for lunch. I was probably just gonna wait until I got home to eat." And, then you say--
Guy Friend:
Nah, it's cool.
Me:
Exactly. You say, "Nah, it's cool. I'm just being nice. It's a gift." And, Will says, "You know, that's awesome. You're really nice, bro." And, after that, you guys start hanging out. You guys are like really good buds. You are always hanging out and laughing and just having a good time. So, you guys are friends for a few months, and it's tons of fun. Then, one day, you go up to Will and you say, "Hey, Will, you know, I've been thinking, and I kinda want that five bucks."
Guy Friend:
What five bucks?
Me:
Hold on. I'm getting there. So, Will says, "What five bucks?" To which, you reply, "Well, we've been hanging out for a long time and it's been really fun, but like, I've done a lot of really nice things for you. Like, I'm always nice to you and I always listen and do things you wanna do, so I was thinking that because I've been so nice, you should pay me back that five bucks I spent to get your lunch right before we started really hanging out."
Guy Friend:
What? Why would I--
Me:
I'm not done yet. So, then Will looks kinda hurt and he says, "But I thought you were just being nice. I thought that was just a gift." So, you say, "Whether or not it was a gift, don't you think you kinda owe me that five bucks since I've been so nice to you?" And, Will says, "No. I don't think I owe you that!" And you get mad, so you say, "Well, I think that you do, so I think you're being really shitty and stuck up about this and I feel like I've been completely wronged."
Guy Friend:
Oh, my God. That's so fucked up of me. I would never do that to Will. Will was nice. We were buds. That's way screwed.
Me:
I know, right? Hey, just wondering, have you ever heard of this fictional place called "The Friendzone?"
after watching a life-ruining anime:
what the fuck WHAT THE FUCK. WAS THAT. WHAT TH E FUCK WAS THAT. WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED. THAT SHITS FUCKED UP. IM FUCKED UP
talking to friend on skype:
hey theres this really cool anime you gotta watch youre gonna love it
HAVE YOU BEEN INVITED TO A FANCY-ASS DINNER PARTY? DO YOU THINK WINE TASTES SHITTY AND YOU CAN’T SEE WHY PEOPLE THINK SIPPING NASTY-ASS CRAP IS CLASSY?
WELL PULL UP YOUR BRITCHES, BECAUSE IT’S TIME TO EDUCATE YOUR PEASANT ASS.
HERE ARE SOME WINES THAT EVEN WINE-HATERS CAN EASILY LEARN TO LOVE!
THEY’RE MORE FRUITY, LESS FULL OF TANNINS AND ARE PERFECT FOR EITHER PEOPLE WANTING TO GET INTO NICE WINES, OR WHO HAD BAD EXPERIENCE WITH SHITTY WINE.
TANNINS: Bitter, and make your mouth feel dry
ACIDS: Sour, and make you salivate
SWEETNESS: Obviously sweet. These three traits are generally determined by the type of grape and how long it was allowed to ripen on the vine before harvesting.
ALCOHOL: Also makes a wine sweeter. Alcohol content for wine usually falls between 5% and 20%
(NOTE: Actual Champagne is a super-specific type of sparkling wine made from the special grapes grown in the Champagne region of France, and underwent a second fermentation to get bubbly as well as adhered to France’s crazy strict regulations. Many people I know will call any sparkling white wine ‘Champagne’ - It has acheived ‘Generic Trademark’ statues, meaning people will use that type of product with the specific brand interchangeably, like ‘Kleenex’ and facial tissues. Unless each bottle costs close to 100$, I highly doubt you’re drinking real Champagne. )
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Moscato: ”Barefoot” brand Pink Moscato is fucking delicious. Tastes a bit like grape, strawberry, peach and red apple had a strange, mildly alcoholic baby. Usually around 5-10% alcohol content. Works terrific as a Dessert wine, and accents anything ‘Creamy’ really well. Slightly bubbly. #1 recommended wine for newbies.
Normal Moscato is also delicious as hell, a bit more citrus-y.
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Zinfandel: White Zinfandel especially is super mild in taste, mildly sweet, fruity. (Don’t let the name fool you - it’s colored pink!) It’s the kind of wine that you accidentally gulp down like juice, because it doesn’t kick you in the throat with a strong taste or immediate alcoholic burn. Around 15% alcohol.
I shit you not, I buy it by the huge-ass jug. As long as you get a good top to reseal it, it’ll last a hella long time after opening.
Normal Zinfadel is also delicious, but White is definitely an introductory wine.
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Cava: Spanish Sparkling Wine. Vaguely bubbly, light, Kinda lemony and pear-ish and a little bitter. Don’t expect sweetness. ‘Asda’ brand is excellent, I like it for winter holiday dinners.
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Prosecco: Basically a poor-man’s Champagne. It is a wine for any occasion; Dinner, Chillaxing, Sharing with friends, whatever. ~12% alcohol. Mild fruit flavors (Like pear and apricot), and you can also choose whether you want fully-sparkling or partial-sparkling (How much you want it to bubble)
Italians love this shit enough to sell it in cans.
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Because nothing says ‘Love’ like aluminum containers.
Unfortunately, it grows stale in the bottle after 2 years or so. Gotta drink it right after buying~
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Asti: Sweet!…and sour? Interesting flavor. Not sweet like candy, but…like well-ripened fruit. Good dessert wine. Often has a flowery, nutty kind of smell and a hint of that in the flavor as well. Best served chilled, and NOT AGED. If left in the bottle for more than two years, it deteriorates quickly and loses the nice fruity flavors. Blech.
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Reisling: This wine is fruity, but highly acidic. It goes well with strongly-spiced and aromatic dishes, like Thai or things with Allspice/Cinnamon. Excellent taste, but some Aged versions have a faint smell like gasoline, which may turn newbies off. 8-10% Alcohol.
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Muscat: HELLA FUCKING SWEET. Like, kicks you in the throat with sweetness. Definitely a dessert wine. Not something I would drink a glass of, without something to eat between sips. ~15% alcohol. Alternately, you could pour a bit of Muscat into a stronger, more bitter glass of wine to make a balanced flavor.
I wrote a post a while back about how some people are very good at getting away with doing intentionally creepy things by passing themselves off as just ~awkward~.
Recently, I noticed a particular pattern that plays out. While creeps can be any gender, there’s a gendered pattern by which creepy men get other men to help them be creepy:
A guy runs over the boundaries of women constantly
He makes them very uncomfortable and creeped out
But he doesn’t do that to guys, and
He doesn’t talk to guys about it in an unambiguous way, and
When he does it in front of guys, he finds a way to make it look deniable
And then some women complain to a man, maybe even a man in charge who is supposed to be responsible for preventing abuse in a space
and he has no idea what they are talking about, since he’s never the target or witness
And he’s had a lot of pleasant interactions with that guy
So he sympathizes with him, and thinks he must mean well but be have trouble with social skills
And then takes no action to get him to stop or to protect women
And so the group stays a place that is safe for predatory men, but not for the women they target
For example:
Mary, Jill, and Susan: Bill, Bob’s been making all of us really uncomfortable. He’s been sitting way too close, making innuendo after everything we say, and making excuses to touch us.
Bill: Wow, I’m surprised to hear that. Bob’s a nice guy, but he’s a little awkward. I’m sure he doesn’t mean anything by it. I’m not comfortable accusing him of something so serious from my position of authority.
What went wrong here?
Bill assumed that, if Bob was actually doing something wrong, he would have noticed.
Bill didn’t think he needed to listen to the women who were telling him about Bob’s creepy actions. He didn’t take seriously the possibility that they were right.
Bill assumed that women who were uncomfortable with Bob must be at fault; that they must be judging him too harshly or not understanding his awkwardness
Bill told women that he didn’t think that several women complaining about a guy was sufficient reason to think something was wrong
Bill assumed that innocently awkward men should not be confronted about inadvertantly creepy things they do, but rather women should shut up and let them be creepy
A rule of thumb for men:
If several women come to you saying that a man is being creepy towards them, assume that they are seeing something you aren’t
Listen to them about what they tell you
If you like the guy and have no idea what they’re talking about, that means that what he is doing is *not* innocent awkwardness.
If it was innocent awkwardness, he wouldn’t know how to hide it from other men
Men who are actually just awkward and bad at understanding boundaries also make *other men* uncomfortable
If a man is only making women uncomfortable but not men, that probably means he’s doing it on purpose
Take that possibility seriously, and listen to what women tell you about men
tl;dr If you are a man, other men in your circle who are nice to you are creepy towards women. Don’t assume that if something was wrong that you would have noticed; creepy men are good at finding the lines of what other men will tolerate. Listen to women. They know better than you do whether a man is being creepy and threatening towards women; if they think something is wrong, listen and find out why. Don’t tolerate give predatory dudes who are nice to you cover to keep hurting women.
Tired of seeing women be the only ones who have to let it all hang out in love scenes? So is Hugh Jackman. Here he is discussing why he felt it was important — nay, necessary — for Wolverine to give you the full cheek peek in X-Men Days of the Past of the Futures that Have Passed:
“I land back in 1973 - this is what the script says - I wake up next to a girl who I don’t remember, and I get out of bed wearing boxer shorts. I was like, ‘I don’t know about America, but in Australia if you’re next to a really good looking girl, you’re not getting out with boxer shorts on or briefs or anything.’ So yeah, I went commando. […]
They bought a bright green sock for me to wear and I was like, this is kinda drawing more attention than less. They said no, we need bright green, like a green screen, so if you bend over or turn around, and we need to erase anything, we can. I said that’s even weirder. They said please put it on, but the end of the first take I was like ‘Ermm, it’s gone, I don’t know where it is.’”
do you ever play cards against humanity and there’s that moment where the perfect card for the hand is in your hand and you just go “my time has come” and lay it down with such grace
