its shruggies bitch

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March 2013

==> Dirk: Kill Jake

my-friend-the-frog:

You CAN’T kill Jake. You have sworn to protect everyone.

==> Dirk: cut off his arm.

AUUUUGHHHHHH

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUu-

Mar 31, 2013 4,521 notes
#homestuck #zombieau #alpha kids #zombiestuck
Mar 31, 2013
Mar 31, 2013 4,357 notes
#homestuck #cosplay #bro #john egbert

happyds:

Happy Easter I have irrelevant shitty Trickster porn yeah !!!!!

Read More

Mar 31, 2013 2,855 notes
#homestuck #nsfw #dirkjake
Mar 31, 2013 251,964 notes
#pro-choice #abortion #underage sex
Mar 31, 2013 181,316 notes
#the great war of nic cage
Mar 31, 2013 5,340 notes
#homestuck #fandom

‘If you don’t reblog this….’

'I’m judging you if you don’t reblog this…’

'Everyone should reblog this…’

how about GOOD JOB youve successfully made me NOT want to reblog it KAY THANKS

Mar 31, 2013
#miney time #tumblr

WHAT THE FUCK

MAMIS DEAD ALREADY

GOOD JOB

Mar 30, 2013
#miney time #puella magi madoka magica
When throwing a punch:rookiemag.com

aepicstranger:

ohroseweasley:

alexandrefelixdarnay:

pfdiva:

starfleetrambo:

sakothefox:

unseilie:

fullofbeansandspunk:

everythingbutharleyquinn:

asinheavenasinhell:

thnafu:

• Use the hand you write with.

• Make a fist with your thumb outside, not tucked inside. If it’s tucked inside your fist, when you punch someone, you might break your thumb. The thumb goes across your fingers, not on the side.

• Don’t be like in the movies—don’t aim for the face. Face punches don’t usually stop people, and you can miss when they duck their head or break your hand on their jaw. If you want to get away quickly, or end a fight, aim for the chest, or the ribs. If you really want to do some damage, e.g., you’re being attacked, aim for the throat, which will make it hard for your attacker to breathe for a hot minute.

• When you punch, you want to aim and hit with your first two knuckles. Not the flats of your fingers, and not your ring or pinky knuckles, which can break more easily. You can use your weight, if you’re on your feet, to add wallop, and spring into a punch with your feet and torso.

Useful information, esp. if you haven’t taken self defense.

I reblogged this once before to add this and I’ll do it again…

keep your wrist straight.

You can also risk breaking your wrist if you allow it to bend.  I actually can’t believe this isn’t in there.

Other good pointers:

  • if your attacker is male, go for his junk - especially if he’s wearing loose pants. There’s no sportsmanship when it comes to assault so fuck them balls UP
  • punching pretty much ANYWHERE in the face is going to actually hurt you a LOT (just think - you’re punching your bones into their bones and ow). If you’re going for the face, my suggestion is to strick upwards with your palm.

see that meaty portion highlighted in red? There’s a lot of muscle and fat right there which makes it excellent for striking. Hold your hand as shown and aim for the nose or chin (though I’ve been told in extreme circumstances, doing this to the nose can be fatal but I’ve never really heard if this is true or not) and just aim upwards

  • other delicate areas: 
  • the shin (hurts like a bitch if you kick it right - also, you can hit this spot if you’re being held in a choke-hold and if your attacker has to move in order to stop you from kicking him, he’ll have to angle his body so as to expose his stomach and crotch to the wild spastic jabbings of your elbows)

  • the solar plexus (either jab while holding your hand in a sort of spear position or use your elbows - unless you’re super strong, your punch probably won’t wind your attacker. Your elbow or a spear hand will, however)

Originally in (most) martial arts, you hit the solar plexus because it supposedly contained an important chakra. Now we know that it actually also contains like a bunch of necessary organs that are exposed just below your ribs and is also (roughly) where your diaphragm lives so getting punched there is not pleasant.

  • the clavicle (from experience, getting hit in your clavicle HURTS LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER. If you strike downwards with your knuckles, the person might just cry. Like I did.)

  • the ear (this is probably the best place to punch besides the throat. It’s all cartilage so it probably won’t hurt you all that much and most people will be like “DUDE YOU PUNCHED ME IN THE EAR WHAT THE HELL”)
  • the kidneys (this is harder to hit without training but if you somehow get your attacker’s back to face you, try to hit’em in the kidneys. Again, from experience, this FUCKING HURTS. You can’t really hit the kidneys from the front with any effect but from the back it is super painful)

  • if you’re held in a choke-hold, try turning your head so the forearm isn’t pressed into your throat. If you can position yourself right, you can sort of force your chin into the crook of the elbow, making you able to still receive (limited) oxygen and provide time for you to kick some shins or elbow some spleens and shit

-Also, remember that a guy’s junk is not an off-button. Don’t think that you can rely on a swift kick to the balls to immediately incapacitate him in an emergency. Adrenaline and anger can keep somebody going for a long time even through extreme pain, and if you expect to end a fight with a single groin-attack you might be caught off-guard when he doesn’t drop. Certainly go for it if you get the chance, but keep hitting him until the fight is over.

-Draw blood if you can, especially if you can draw it from the face or the eyes. Blood in the eyes is not just a good way to impair your attacker’s vision, it’s also a really good way to freak them out and let them know that they might be getting more than they bargained for by picking a fight with you.

-Elbows and knees are really powerful weapons. Elbows are very sharp and very strong and if you are in close-range they are often more effective than trying to throw a punch. 

-Yelling and shouting makes you scary. 

Self-defense in driving school taught us that it’s not honestly a good idea to go for the balls. It makes them even more angry and gives them more motivation to hurt you worse.

We’d also learned that its a good idea to go for the eyes if you can. Dudes are scared as shit to lose their vision so, pepperspray if available. If not, using your thumbs to try and gouge their eyes.

Welcome to tumblr, where we teach you how to fight and defend yourself.

In which tumblr teaches you better than highschool.

Oh god getting my eyes gouged out is one of my worst fears

Wow I never realized how badass tumblr was

Mar 30, 2013 719,122 notes
#self defense

*sips lime cordial*

ew

*sips lime cordial*

this is gross

*sips lime cordial*

why do people make this

*finishes lime cordial*

why do people drink this

Mar 30, 2013 2 notes
#lime #cordial #is gross #but its greeeen

THE TEACHER TOO WHAT

IS EVERYONE TWELVE IN THIS

Mar 30, 2013 1 note
#miney time #puella magi madoka magica

what madoka’s mom looks like almost her age what

Mar 30, 2013 1 note
#miney time #puella magi madoka magica

im gonna do it

im gonna watch puella magi madoka magica something

Mar 30, 2013
#miney time #pmmm
  • *you have obtained RED CONVERSE!*
  • Your DAVE COSPLAY has LEVELED UP!
  • Your TEREZI COSPLAY has LEVELED UP!
  • Your VRISKA COSPLAY has LEVELED UP!
Mar 30, 2013 5 notes
#cosplay #converse #homestuck

oh god i have to go to a church service tomorrow w the family but i have to get up even earlier than that but i also have to stay up til 1 to download this game i bought and fuck everything argh

Mar 30, 2013
#miney time
Listen

badhoruss:

to everyone who has ever heard phantom skype noises while listening to music

Mar 30, 2013 72,606 notes
#aural sex #skype #new age
Mar 30, 2013 7,209 notes
#homestuck #jake english
Mar 30, 2013 1,312,053 notes
#wall of death
Mar 30, 2013 27,794 notes
#homestuck #dave strider #karkat vantas
Mar 30, 2013 52 notes
#aladdin #assassin's creed
Reblog this if you're still a virgin.

can-y0u-see-it:

onyx-raven:

I want to see how many people are proud of it.

We’re like unicorns

UNICORN AND PROUD :D

it’s not like we get laid anyway bc we never leave our rooms. 

COURSE i’M STILL A VIRGIN!

Mar 30, 2013 609,567 notes
Listen

watchthelightfade:

wingedaradia:

i couldnt find enough fanart for an edit so have this instead

yes

Mar 30, 2013 11,582 notes
#i like #aural sex
Reblog. Click the image, and Enjoy.

ixerro:

foxyshy:

askscratcheddisk:

thetardisinhogwarts:

la-creme:

askpinkamena:

omg

this game was banned in my school because people would just play it over and over again in the library 

motherfuckin thank you

this would be really fucking cool if my arrow keys would fucking work. 

THIS IS PERFECT

Highscore at 507435.

Highscore at 954825.

Found a way to cheat, actually. :P

Oh god no… No… NO… I WASTED TOO MANY HOURS ON THIS LONG AGO.

Mar 30, 2013 358,809 notes
Mar 30, 2013 5,276 notes
#homestuck #john egbert #vampire
Mar 29, 2013 143,627 notes
#doctor who #fanfic
Mar 29, 2013 4,981 notes
#homestuck #dirk strider #roxy lalonde
Mar 29, 2013 4,207 notes
#homestuck #dirkjake #johndave #john egbert

kurlozmakara:

zarggg:

kurlozmakara:

how are hipster posts bad?

what is bad about a picture of a cute pair of shoes or starbucks or a fucking poem. i dont get it. how are you superior to someone because you like shows on BBC

Exactly what I’d expect a hipster to say.

considering im a member of many fandoms including neon genesis evangelion, homestuck, and a few others, no not really.

but that’s exactly what i’d expect a shitty fandom blogger with a superiority complex to say.

Mar 29, 2013 70,005 notes
#tumblr

everything i do feels like burning

my fingers are little flesh sticks of pain

Mar 29, 2013
#miney time
Mar 29, 2013 3,940 notes
#that greek comment was a bit uuh #separation of church and state
Mar 29, 2013 187,806 notes
#animal #mating #habits
Mar 29, 2013 453,522 notes
Listen

spicy-vagina-tacos:

heartcore-diamond:

I’m not even sorry

CRYING

wtf i just discover this song and now its everywhere

Mar 29, 2013 21,070 notes
#most popular girls in school
Mar 29, 2013 86,211 notes
#aww yeah
Mar 29, 2013
#miney time #im cool see evidence above
Mar 28, 2013 3,263 notes
#homestuck #jake english #dirk strider #dirkjake
Mar 28, 2013 1,314 notes
#homestuck #jake english
Mar 28, 2013 8,498 notes
#homestuck #dave strider #john egbert #pirate #navy
Mar 28, 2013 2,805 notes
#homestuck #vriska serket
Mar 28, 2013 30,325 notes
#sailor moon
Mar 28, 2013 7,772 notes
#homestuck #karkat vantas #john egbert #friendleaders

baggy/sagging pants on guys make me sad because there could be a high quality ass beneath that denim but i wont be able to enjoy the ass because its FUCKING HIDDEN

Mar 27, 2013 2 notes
#miney time #ass #koala tea post
Mar 27, 2013 424 notes

intelligentairhead:

itsmoreorangeythanlime:

I AM SO MAD AT YOU THAT I WANNA EGG YOUR HOUSE

BUT ONLY WITH, LIKE, ONE EGG

A CHOCOLATE EGG

PLAced gingerly at your doorstep.

Because I like you.

ASSHOLE.

Mar 27, 2013 145,073 notes

reiburger:

i saw this and had to draw it and hahA i avoided drawing dicks again sorry

Mar 27, 2013 30,681 notes
#homestuck #davekat #i don't ship this but
Mar 27, 2013
#doodles
Mar 27, 2013 5,611 notes
#homestuck #jake english #alpha kids

princekarkat:

pyrates:

things people forget about john that don’t have to do with nic cage

  • he likes magic tricks
  • he likes paranormal stuff
  • he likes the animes
  • he makes (shitty) computer programs
  • he likes webcomics
  • his favorite color is green
  • he is left-handed
  • deathly alergic to peanuts
  • doesnt actually hate cake
  • he thinks daves rapping sucks
  • he plays the piano
  • likes the movie Little Monsters
  • has at one point seen furry porn
  • HE HAS ZERO TACT AND ISNT VERY SENSITIVE IN GENERAL
Mar 27, 2013 9,919 notes
#homestuck #john egbert
Mar 27, 2013 22,011 notes
#homestuck #jake english #ow my heart
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